Selections of when I explain magic

[Marscaleb]

Of course it is "best" to show your magic, demonstrating how it works through practical examples as the story naturally progresses. But sometimes you need a good way to just openly explain your magic, laying things out in no uncertain terms, directly answering questions that the reader may have.

Presented here is every instance in my story (so far) where I have someone directly explaining magic to another character.
Any thoughts? Do I leave questions unanswered?

From the first chapter:

“What are you looking for today, Amber?” Miss Lowenstam asked.

“There was something I wanted to read about. They said it was called 'magic.'”

“Magic? What's got you interested in that all of a sudden?”

Amber stirred a little. “Well, they did a physical for everyone at the orphanage, and they said I was a... a mage? That's the word they said.”

Both women's faces showed surprise. “A mage?” Miss Lowenstam repeated, “Well, you're very lucky, Amber! Mages can use magic!”

Amber nodded with a little consternation. “Yes, that's what they said, but... What is 'magic?'” Finding a definition to this word had given Amber nothing but headaches; it was like they were describing laws of physics that didn't exist.

The librarian took a quick breath. “Well, mages wear a special device on their chest called an 'orb.' It lets them use a special energy in their body, called 'mana.' When they use that mana to perform a task, that's called 'magic!' You can use magic to do all kinds of things! You can make light, or power special objects. The really strong mages even use magic to fly!”

Amber's face grew more confused and frustrated. 'That doesn't make any sense. Are they harvesting electricity from people's bodies?' “But then why can only some people do that? Why would only some people have this 'mana?'”

The middle-aged woman spoke up. “Actually, you're not wrong; everyone can use at least some magic, but it's usually very, very little. A mage is someone with exceptional ability; someone with a really high power-level. ...Did they say what your power level was?”

Amber nodded, “Yes, they said it was a hundred-and-seven over eighty-five.”

The middle-aged woman's face soured. “It's not polite to lie, deary.” she declared.

From Chapter 3:

“Magic...” Amber softly repeated. Magic, a source of power. Mage, a person who can use magic. Mana, the energy consumed to perform magic. These words she had read began to form new meaning in her head, as at last they all seemed to come together.

'...What else did they say about magic?'

“Colonel Greenfield,” Amber asked, “Mages... They need to wear a special orb in order to use magic?”

The colonel nodded. “That's right. Perhaps I can get one of them over here and you can see for yourself.” The colonel waved his arm in the air until one of the mages responded and flew down to them.

The mage touched down on the grass just a couple yards away from them on the other side of the fence, and quickly walked the few steps to get close. The mage was a woman in her early twenties. She stood at attention and saluted. “Sir! Did you need something from me?”

“At ease, Corporal, and... relax,” the colonel said in a casual tone. “What is your name?”

The mage undid the strap on her aviator cowl and gently shook her hair out. “Corporal Kris Bodmer, sir!” She then placed her arms behind her back.

Greenfield gestured to Amber and stated “Corporal Bodmer, this is Amber. She just recently learned that she is a mage, and I wanted to show her what mages are capable of. Could you show Amber your orb?”

“Certainly, sir.” The corporal stepped closer to Amber, knelt down, and unzipped her flight suit partway. She wore a standard uniform under the flight suit; both were a gray-green color. A round red jewel sat on her shirt; it was almost as big as her fist and was faceted like the top of a diamond. Her shirt was crafted and cut around the jewel as if the thing were embedded into her chest. “It has to be placed over the heart to get the best performance. We wear a special sling to keep it in place.” Small and barely-noticeable clips were positioned in her shirt around the jewel, presumably to keep her shirt from moving out of alignment with it; preserving the clean and orderly look of the military uniform.

“And you have a jet-pack?”

“She means your flight-pack.”

Bodmer turned to the side so that Amber could see the contraption strapped to her back. It was a sleek gun-metal gray backpack, rounded at the top, with a series of angled vents along the side and a large slotted vent on the bottom. The Imperial 'Iron Wings' emblem was painted in the middle. “The most complicated part is a levitation spell that almost makes a person float in the air. After that, there are a series of vents that provide thrust.”

A vent on the side of the pack began glowing. Amber could feel a gust of wind coming from it, like a hairdryer. “How do you control it?”

“The orb taps into the mana within my own body;” she faced Amber again and tapped her orb; it was also glowing while the pack was running. “I basically just think and move it, the same way your arms move when you think about it.” She held out her arms and performed a little swaying motion, activating the jets on either side when she moved the corresponding arm. As she did Amber noticed that her eyes also glowed, ever so slightly, in tandem with the orb. “But it does take a lot of practice, and getting used to. And because these spells are so complex, not just any mage can use one of these.”

Later, chapter number TBA:

“Yes sir,” the private responded. He looked around a little awkwardly and then spoke in a somewhat timid tone. “By the way, if it's alright, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about magic.”

Cedric glanced around at his crew and then lifted his hands. “We've got nothing else to do for the next hour, so I don't see why not. What did you want to know?”

“Well, my first question is, why do mages always have their orb visible on their chest? Does it not work if it's under other clothing?”

“There are a few things that don't work through clothing, but most of the time it can be covered up. We keep it covered up when we are flying or in battle.”

“Ah, so no one can steal your orb in the middle of a fight?”

Cedric looked down a little. “That, has happened before, yes. And as for flying, having a hole in your flight suit makes it hard to stay warm.”

“So why not have it covered all the time?”

“Well for one thing, if there's clothing in the way I can't do this:” He held his hand in front of his orb. The orb started glowing and tiny beads of light started shooting out of the orb, gathering into his hand. The private watched in wonderment until all the beads came together, forming a glowing spell-circle: a collection of arcane symbols inscribed around a series of concentric circles.

“Whoa!” the private declared with child-like enthusiasm. “You can just make one of those out of nothing?”

“It's not 'out of nothing,' I can manifest any sigil I have copied onto my orb. It's like... having an empty book, and I can copy any spell I want to a blank page, and once it is there I can make a copy appear like I just did. I can't make just any spell, only from a sigil I've copied, and only if I have room to copy it.”

“But do you have to do that for every spell? I thought I've seen mages cast spells without making one of those spell-circles before.”

“It's called a sigil. And these military-grade orbs are very advanced; it's like we have two books inside. A larger book of blank pages where I can copy and summon any sigil I want, and a smaller book where I can use any spell at any time without summoning a sigil. The civilian-grade orbs are usually just one or the other.”

“Why not just have every spell be one you can use at any time?”

“Technology has limits. No one's quite figured out how to get that many active spells to fit on a single orb.”

Hunt spoke up, “People have limits. You can't run that many active spells unless you have an incredible power level.”

Cedric continued, “The only spells we keep on the active side of the orb are the most critical ones, like our shield, or our comm line.”

The inquisitive private pointed at the sigil floating above Cedric's hand. “So what's that spell you have there?”

“This is the attackfire spell we use with our rifles; the one that turns a little bullet into a big boom.”

“Shouldn't that be one of the spells you'd keep in your... smaller book?”

“No, actually, because we don't cast it on ourselves, we cast it on our bullets. We actually have a sigil tray attached to our rifle that contains this spell.”

Hunt held up his rifle and pointed to a piece of wood on the end of his rifle, blended into the barrel.

The private remarked “Oh, so you do use different rifles than the rest of us!”

“Just for that sigil tray. If it wasn't there, I'd have to do this:” Cedric picked up his rifle and waved his hand over the barrel; the sigil pinned itself to the end of the weapon. “And I'd have to do that for every shot, each time I'd have to summon the sigil, pin it to the rifle, and then aim and fire, just for a single shot. The sigil tray saves a lot of time in a battle.”

“Could you show me?”

Cedric raised one side of his mouth in a smirk. “There's a certain captain with a red beard and no mustache that's been buzzing around us since we got here; I really don't want to make him any more mad at us by firing off explosives for no reason.”

The private looked disappointed but understanding. “Ah, you make a good point sir.”

 

[Queshire]

Hm, so the main thing I would advise is to consider the previous experiences the people reading your book have had with magic in stories and how that affects what needs to be actually explained to them.

 

[Marscaleb]

Hm, so the main thing I would advise is to consider the previous experiences the people reading your book have had with magic in stories and how that affects what needs to be actually explained to them.

I should probably rephrase the question I left in my post; I really don't have the context in here to "answer questions." I mean, I am left with the question of "does this lead to more questions?" and I do wonder if this selection does that, but I also know that the full context of the story is needed to address that issue.

I was originally going to ask if these selections felt natural, but I had to trim out the context of the scenes to get them to fit in the post.

 

[Finchbearer]

I think what I remember you saying about this character being a reincarnated fifty year old man waking up as a female child, then I am asking why the character still has the naïvety of a little girl, when really she isn’t. She (as the reincarnation of a fifty year old man) has seriously never heard of magic? That’s what I’d be asking.

The other subject you’ve brought up on ‘telling and not showing’ - I am not convinced that you know the value of showing not telling. I can see you’ve set this up throughout dialogue to make it fit into the plot more seamlessly, but we’re still being taught to suck eggs here. As Queshire points out, most discerning fantasy readers know what magic is, so a more subtle blend of showing and telling is probably is what would convince me far more as a reader.

 

[Marscaleb]

I think what I remember you saying about this character being a reincarnated fifty year old man waking up as a female child, then I am asking why the character still has the naïvety of a little girl, when really she isn’t. She (as the reincarnation of a fifty year old man) has seriously never heard of magic? That’s what I’d be asking.

Okay, I trimmed out too much context. I was thinking I should focus on the worldbuilding side rather than the story, but I trimmed out too much context.

The character in question is learning the local language; when the other characters speak of "magic" they are using a word she doesn't recognize.. Immediately before the second selection, she has just witnessed magic being used, and has a few paragraphs of internal debate as she realizes "magic is real" and specifically "Could it be that the word people have been saying really means 'magic?'" That selection is literally opening with her understanding what those words mean.

...Perhaps I should try to focus the discussion on the worldbuilding. What thoughts do you have on the magic system? Does the explanation of the magic system itself seem sensible? Even without the context of the rest of the story, does any of this leave you with questions that I should try to address?
These are the questions I should have asked.

I am not convinced that you know the value of showing not telling. I can see you’ve set this up throughout dialogue to make it fit into the plot more seamlessly, but we’re still being taught to suck eggs here.

As I had stated, these are explicitly the times when I tell instead of show; in fact the only three times amidst the entire story where I do so.

 

[Mad Swede]

Do you need to explain the magic system? Here I'm thinking of legends, folk tales and myth. It's very rare that any of these explain how magic works or why it works. It just does.

I sometimes think we as authors are guilty of excessive world building, we seem to think we have to explain everything to the reader. This seems to follow the precedent set by the Lord of the Rings. However, the interesting thing is that Tolkein never explains how magic works, it is simply accepted by the main characters that some people have certain powers.

So I think I'd ask myself if this character ever needs to know how magic works. Part of the story (and their character development) could be them trying to work it out for themselves, taking the reader along with them.

 

[Finchbearer]

I think that whatever magic system you’re working with, it’s the storytelling that needs to allow that information filter through to the reader, without info-dumping, without literally telling us, and ideally in a way that leaves room for intrigue.

You’ve given us a literal q+a but in the guise of dialogue, in an attempt to let the reader know all the facets of the magic system. I don’t think this is necessary.

You’re working with a points system, so I’m not sure if you’re aiming for a lit RPG here, but even with something like that, you have to leave room for telling the reader about the magic system, without actually telling them.

 

[pmmg]

“Magic...” Amber softly repeated. Magic, a source of power. Mage, a person who can use magic. Mana, the energy consumed to perform magic. These words she had read began to form new meaning in her head, as at last they all seemed to come together.

I get that it is important to capture the feeling of the character in scenes like these, but a lot of fantasy readers will not need this kind of spoon feeding. If this is for the reader benefit, I would give them credit for probably knowing what a mage is, and what mana is. Its been a staple in fantasy gaming for years.

I think its best just to try to capture what the character is feeling and thinking, and not just use them as a proxy for the reader, if that is the idea.

 

[Queshire]

Do you need to explain the magic system? Here I'm thinking of legends, folk tales and myth. It's very rare that any of these explain how magic works or why it works. It just does.

I sometimes think we as authors are guilty of excessive world building, we seem to think we have to explain everything to the reader. This seems to follow the precedent set by the Lord of the Rings. However, the interesting thing is that Tolkein never explains how magic works, it is simply accepted by the main characters that some people have certain powers.

So I think I'd ask myself if this character ever needs to know how magic works. Part of the story (and their character development) could be them trying to work it out for themselves, taking the reader along with them.

In this case I think it's a good idea. Sounds to me that Marscaleb's magic is being utilized as a technology for both civilian and military use. That's a pretty different tone than a legend, folk tale or myth.

 

[Marscaleb]

Do you need to explain the magic system? Here I'm thinking of legends, folk tales and myth. It's very rare that any of these explain how magic works or why it works. It just does.

The exactings of "how" may not need to be understood, but there are things I think the reader should know:

1) The limitations. In today's world there are thousands of smart-alec's who can point out massive problems and loopholes with magic systems. If a wizard can just summon limitless water for everyone to drink when they walk through the desert, then why can't they summon limitless water to put out a fire when the old library catches fire?

2) Understanding what can be done before the crisis. When there is a dramatic or tense moment in the story, and a magician reaches into his bag of tricks and has the exact solution to the problem, it just feels cheap and unsatisfying. A solution shouldn't be pulled out of nowhere; the reader needs to have some understanding that the thing can be done.

And when you combine those two, you have a better capacity for dramatic fantasy storytelling. We have to know what the limits of the magic are and what it can perform to make a crisis feel compelling.

As for the bits I share, the things that are being brought up are things that become relevant to the story. I have a section where a mage has his orb stolen, and thus cannot use magic. I have a scene later where someone is using a rifle without a sigil tray and has to cast their spell individually. It is part of the tension of that battle, but it hurts the tension if I have to stop everything to explain to the reader why this is tense.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Sounds YA and rather unnatural to me.

 

[Mad Swede]

The exactings of "how" may not need to be understood, but there are things I think the reader should know:

1) The limitations. In today's world there are thousands of smart-alec's who can point out massive problems and loopholes with magic systems. If a wizard can just summon limitless water for everyone to drink when they walk through the desert, then why can't they summon limitless water to put out a fire when the old library catches fire?

You don't need a detailed explanation of the "how" to show this. Tolkien makes it quite clear how tired Gandalf is when they meet the Balrog in Moria, and Joe Abercrombie also shows how tired Bayaz is after helping Jezal to win the fnecing tournament. Readers will accept something like that, a statement that it's all too much, because they themselves know how tired they get after a lot of exertion.

2) Understanding what can be done before the crisis. When there is a dramatic or tense moment in the story, and a magician reaches into his bag of tricks and has the exact solution to the problem, it just feels cheap and unsatisfying. A solution shouldn't be pulled out of nowhere; the reader needs to have some understanding that the thing can be done.

I'm not sure I agree. We're never told what Gandalf can and cannot do, only that his powers have a different focus to those of Saruman and Radagast. Something like that is quite enough to make it clear there are limits, and half the pleasure then comes in reading the story to find out how they get out of situations where magic isn't up to it.

And when you combine those two, you have a better capacity for dramatic fantasy storytelling. We have to know what the limits of the magic are and what it can perform to make a crisis feel compelling.

As for the bits I share, the things that are being brought up are things that become relevant to the story. I have a section where a mage has his orb stolen, and thus cannot use magic. I have a scene later where someone is using a rifle without a sigil tray and has to cast their spell individually. It is part of the tension of that battle, but it hurts the tension if I have to stop everything to explain to the reader why this is tense.

But you don't need to explain the why, only that they can't. Your main characters can, if they're reasonably intelligent, deduce that loss of these things like these clearly has some impact on the mages' powers - it can come up in some small example early in the story and then be emphasised later at the key moment, a sort of magical Chekov's gun.

 

[Queshire]

I'm not sure if Gandalf is the most apt comparison in this case. =/

 

[Mad Swede]

I'm not sure if Gandalf is the most apt comparison in this case. =/

No, but Bayaz is. He is shown to use magic, personal and political manipulation and (in the later stories) technology to win his battles. But the way his magic work is never explained.

Or we could take Jadis in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. All we're told about her magic is that she seems to use a wand. That's pretty obvious when you think about it (even for a child) but it becomes an example of Chekov's gun when Edmund breaks the wand in the battle and so stops Jadis turning people to stone. It wins them the battle. You never need to know how that wand magic works. Better yet, because it is so seemingly obvious you as the reader don't really consider the idea of breaking the wand, so it comes as a bit of a surprise when Edmund is revealed to have done just that rather than try to kill Jadis.

 

[Prince of Spires]

I personally don't like the explanations. The chapter 1 bit for instance just feels silly, even with knowing the character has run into a word in a different language. Writing is like real life with all the boring bits taken out. All your readers will understand what magic and a mage are on a conceptual level. There is no need to explain that to them. Putting a dictionary definition of a mage and magic in chapter 1 is a good way to lose readers in my opinion. The two interesting things are:
“Well, mages wear a special device on their chest called an 'orb.' It lets them use a special energy in their body"

and

Did they say what your power level was?”

Amber nodded, “Yes, they said it was a hundred-and-seven over eighty-five.”

The middle-aged woman's face soured. “It's not polite to lie, deary.” she declared.

After reading this, the reader will know that mages have some sort of device they need to power their magic, and that the main character has very high potential in magic. You don't need to go into more detail than this to show that a mage can't use magic without an orb. Though to be fair, you don't even need to do this. You can simply show a mage do magic using his orb, and then have the protagonist try magic without one and it doesn't work, and the reader will catch on.

In my opinion, most, if not all, explanation of stuff in a story, including magic, should be shown through the story. If you want to explain why a water mage can't extinguish a fire with magic, just show a scene where this happens. It can be as simple as the mage having to get up to put out a candle and remarking that it would be nice to do this with magic but the fire gets in the way.

As I had stated, these are explicitly the times when I tell instead of show; in fact the only three times amidst the entire story where I do so.

Showing and telling goes a bit further than scene level stuff. It's also on a sentence level that you can tell or show. For instance this is telling:

Finding a definition to this word had given Amber nothing but headaches;

While this is showing:

Well, they did a physical for everyone at the orphanage, and they said I was a... a mage?

One tells me that Amber has headaches, but doesn't demonstrate anything to indicate that she does. While the other shows me she's confused. Note that the telling here isn't necessarily bad (since the headaches seemed to have happened in the past).

As far as how much to explain about the magic system to the reader, that's personal preference. Tolkien does both. We have no idea what Gandalf can do or how or why, just that he's awesome. However we have a great understanding of what the One Ring can do. Brandon Sanderson explains pretty much everything about his magic systems, while Scott Lynch gives the barest of hints at how it works. Harry Potter is somewhere in the middle, where we know exactly what a few spells can do because they get taught in school, but we have little idea of the full extent of magic or how many things work or why.

If you want to do a hard magic system, then reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and studying how he does it is a good place to start.

Other than that, following Sanderson's First Law of Magic is a good guideline: "An author's ability to solve conflict with magic is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to how well the reader understands said magic."

The reader doesn't need to understand it al. But the more you solve problems with magic, the better the reader needs to understand it.

 

[Queshire]

With Harry Potter in particular we always generally know what Harry's magical capabilities are and the learning time required ensures that he’s not going to suddenly create a new spell in the middle of a conflict.

 

[Prince of Spires]

With Harry Potter in particular we always generally know what Harry's magical capabilities are and the learning time required ensures that he’s not going to suddenly create a new spell in the middle of a conflict.

Indeed, but we have no idea how any of the other magic in the world works. All those elements are simply a matter of "because magic." At one point they have a magical tent that's small on the outside but like a mansion on the inside. How? Because magic. Or they have a tree that's alive and agressive. How? Because magic. Or a flying car. Or any of the other dozens of magical elements in the story.

We only learn exactly how a few spells works, and those then get used to solve the plot. The rest is just handwaved away.