BWFoster78
Myth Weaver
As most of you know, I'm a big proponent of Show, Don't Tell. I think, overall, the technique is more engaging.
Obviously, it doesn't work for all cases. My favorite example of when to tell is the transition between scenes. When nothing interesting happens but you want to convey the passage of time and space, telling the reader that the characters traveled to long road to whereever over the next week is much better than chapters of nothing plot related happening.
I think that I took my advice too far in my second draft. By not wanting to tell my reader about my character's emotional state, I created more distance from my character than I wanted.
I'm still on the fence, however. What do you think about something like this:
It's clearly telling us about her emotional state and the reason for it, and one part of me thinks it's poor technique. On the other hand, I don't want to spend the story space needed to show her nervousness further than I already have; it's just not that important.
Also, I'm more worried about the principle than the actual instance.
Throwing telling phrases like this in seem to bring the reader close to the POV character, but they grate against what I think "proper" technique should be.
I'd love to hear some opinions on the subject.
Thanks!
Obviously, it doesn't work for all cases. My favorite example of when to tell is the transition between scenes. When nothing interesting happens but you want to convey the passage of time and space, telling the reader that the characters traveled to long road to whereever over the next week is much better than chapters of nothing plot related happening.
I think that I took my advice too far in my second draft. By not wanting to tell my reader about my character's emotional state, I created more distance from my character than I wanted.
I'm still on the fence, however. What do you think about something like this:
Dr. Hardin left Tasia in charge until he returned, and the added responsibility added to her nervousness.
It's clearly telling us about her emotional state and the reason for it, and one part of me thinks it's poor technique. On the other hand, I don't want to spend the story space needed to show her nervousness further than I already have; it's just not that important.
Also, I'm more worried about the principle than the actual instance.
Throwing telling phrases like this in seem to bring the reader close to the POV character, but they grate against what I think "proper" technique should be.
I'd love to hear some opinions on the subject.
Thanks!