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The Centers for Disease Control formally denied we're in a zombie apocalypse.

Mindfire

Istar
haha if I wrote a book about nuke it would only be two pages long though.

That'd be pretty cool for a gag. Set up a book about a zombie apocalypse, have the governments of the world nuke the zombies as an anti-climax, and then have the actual story be a dramatic (read, "artsy") story about the people living in irradiated areas and dealing with the nuclear fallout. Bait-and-switch FTW. Or the fail, depending on who you ask. :D

You could call it "The Aftermath".
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
Okay so do I want to go down in history as Ani the Wise or Ani the Great? Hmm.. I think Ani the Impossibly Beautiful is probably not going to happen, so yeah. I'll shoot for Ani the Bloodthirsty Beotch of New Reavertopia. That ought to do it. Now... where to begin with the insane policies I'm going to institute....

Firstly, all citizens of Reavertopia are required to zig-zag when they cross the streets. It's for your own protection people, my men are armed and ready to kill anything that ambles slowly in a straight line.

Also, for your own safety, I suggest getting a tan, because zombie hunters are well known for shooting first and asking questions later. Also make sure you do your laundry and brush your hair.

In fact, let's make this like deer season. All militia members will wear blaze orange, and all other citizens should try to wear bright colors because zombies all tend to dress in muted earth tones.

Also I'd like to appoint Reaver as my military adviser, overseeing all BOOMSTICK dispersal and zombie combat tactics. We offer free training at the local YMCA Tuesday evenings from 6-8 PM.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
okay so do i want to go down in history as ani the wise or ani the great? Hmm.. I think ani the impossibly beautiful is probably not going to happen, so yeah. I'll shoot for ani the bloodthirsty beotch of new reavertopia. That ought to do it. Now... Where to begin with the insane policies i'm going to institute....

Firstly, all citizens of reavertopia are required to zig-zag when they cross the streets. It's for your own protection people, my men are armed and ready to kill anything that ambles slowly in a straight line.

Also, for your own safety, i suggest getting a tan, because zombie hunters are well known for shooting first and asking questions later. Also make sure you do your laundry and brush your hair.

In fact, let's make this like deer season. All militia members will wear blaze orange, and all other citizens should try to wear bright colors because zombies all tend to dress in muted earth tones.

Also i'd like to appoint reaver as my military adviser, overseeing all boomstick dispersal and zombie combat tactics. We offer free training at the local ymca tuesday evenings from 6-8 pm.

I humbly accept your gracious appointment as Lord Knight General of the Imperial Ministry of Ass-Kicking and Defense.
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
Right, you heard it here first folks. The Right Honorable Lord Knight General of the Imperial Ministry of Ass-Kicking and Defense and Her Imperial Majesty Czarina Ani the Bloodthirsty Beotch of New Reavertopia will be signing autographs and posing for photos at the local S-MART this Saturday. Bring the kids for Breakfast with Zombie Santa and stick around for the "Rule 8: Kill With Efficiency Seminar" where we will be discussing how to turn anything lying around into a perfect zombie-killing weapon. (There will be free toilet lids for each person who pre-registered)
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
Sorry, I don't do autographs. Excessive repetitive signing is not good for my trigger finger. However, I do have a rubber stamp with my signature and 8X10 glossys, so these will suffice.
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
That's okay, I recruited twelve slave girls in leather and chain mail bikinis to sign our names thousands of times. Funny thing chain mail bikinis... I think they were the first fashion statement made after every single apocalypse I can remember.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
Only twelve? Please recruit at least a dozen more and replace the chain mail with rabbit fur.

Thanks very much.
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
We need a Minister of Wardrobe front and center. I need a man or woman brave enough to rip off twenty-four chain mail bikinis and replace them with these hunks of rabbit fur Reaver toted in.
 
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