This is getting too long

[Amanita]

Given that you’ve all been so helpful with my last questions, I’m going to ask another one.
I’ve finally gotten my motivation back, so far, so good. There’s another problem groping up however. The story is getting very long already, but there’s so much to come. I’ve got five chapters and a prologue now, about 25 000 words and my main character Lenima is still struggling through her magical illness and I’ve realised that the ritual they’re going to do to cure her will probably take up another chapter.

After this she has to travel to another country to meet her mentor, be attacked on the way to his home, learn to control her magic and go to school, where she’s going to find out quite a few plot-relevant things. Only when this is done, the actual quest is going to start where she joins a group travelling the country to find dangerous magical substances hidden by a past villain before the current villains do.
While Lenima is getting her training from the male main character Corin, there’s a rebellion happening in the country where they’ve been attacked while travelling through. The antagonistic terrorist organisation is coming out of this victorious, leads this country from then on and prepares for war. Outright war will be avoided as I assume at the moment but I can’t say for sure yet because it also depends on what would make most sense when I’ve gotten there.
The second female main character Rijuna is trying to track some of the villains down together with her partner before they meet to go on the quest. She’s met Lenima before because she’s helped her with her magic and they meet again to go on the quest later.

If I continue at this pace, that will be one very long story. I’ve already cut a plotline I really liked because it would have made the beginning too long but it’s still quite long. Now I’m wondering if I should separate the stories in some way. At least to me, they all seem linked, but there’s also the problem that Lenima’s and Rijuna’s stories have quite different tones.
Lenima is a very innocent character in more ways than one and her first part is a typical coming of age story, she’s seventeen at the beginning. This part has quite family-friendly messages too and would probably be good for younger readers.
Rijuna’s part however is quite different. She has suffered human-caused trauma in the past and the political situation in her country has had quite an influence on her character. In addition to that, her sexual morals aren’t exactly what’s common in our culture either. She’s getting herself into a relationship with a character whom actually sees as an enemy, partly attracted to him and partly wanting to manipulate him, while he’s doing his share of manipulating as well. While hunting down their enemies, they unlike Lenima aren’t above killing if necessary or resorting to measures that would be viewed as torture by most of us. Those two parts don’t really have the same target audience or so it seems to me.
The second part has both because it also has both main characters.
Splitting it doesn’t really work in my mind because everything is interlinked. The thread on war rape might have given you an idea.
Not writing Rijuna’s part in detail but only through bits of information the other characters receive is a potential option, this would also help to make the beginning a bit shorter. I do think that it’s quite important though.

Given the fact that I highly doubt the story will ever be published I don’t really need to worry about that just yet, but I still do and I’d like to hear what you think. The simple fact that it’s getting very long is a problem for any publishing ambitions as well because a first time author probably wouldn’t get away with that either.

 

[JCFarnham]

Well, my advice in cases like these is usually split the story. I could see a trilogy length work in the amount of story you've got there. You may not feel it'll work for interlinkage reasons as you said, but dividing it would to me give you a lot more room to play. More room to indulge in subplots and nuance. I personally don't see this ruining the story, it would sort out the pacing issuing, each to their own Oh and I'm not talking about splitting the plots across different books here, I still think the two protagonists stories should exist along side each other, what I'm talking about is making the coming of age story one book, the learning magic and mentoring bit another and the quest a third. It seems to want to be told that way. I'd just listen to my gut on that.

But if you really don't want to split the story up then my suggestion is to look at the language you're using. Are you using a lot of superfluous words, repetition, etc.? If so then they'll be a bit of bulk you could cut without effecting the delivery of the story at all.

Completely unrelated note. You can publish anything if you want to. There shouldn't be anything holding anyone back from at least trying to get their work out there! Good luck my friend.

 

[kadenaz]

Is it clear to you what's the main point of your story? What do you want to say in a single statement? (don't say it here

 

[bbeams32]

Well, my advice in cases like these is usually split the story. I could see a trilogy length work in the amount of story you've got there. You may not feel it'll work for interlinkage reasons as you said, but dividing it would to me give you a lot more room to play. More room to indulge in subplots and nuance. I personally don't see this ruining the story, it would sort out the pacing issuing, each to their own Oh and I'm not talking about splitting the plots across different books here, I still think the two protagonists stories should exist along side each other, what I'm talking about is making the coming of age story one book, the learning magic and mentoring bit another and the quest a third. It seems to want to be told that way. I'd just listen to my gut on that.

But if you really don't want to split the story up then my suggestion is to look at the language you're using. Are you using a lot of superfluous words, repetition, etc.? If so then they'll be a bit of bulk you could cut without effecting the delivery of the story at all.

Completely unrelated note. You can publish anything if you want to. There shouldn't be anything holding anyone back from at least trying to get their work out there! Good luck my friend.

I definitely agree with this. With how you've described the plot, it seems as if this would be a good fit as long as each of those parts are fleshed out well in your mind.

On an unrelated note of my own, love the male protagonist's name (possibly because the protagonist of my book is Korin)

 

[Anders Ämting]

The story is getting very long already, but there’s so much to come. I’ve got five chapters and a prologue now, about 25 000 words

What, really? 25K is about two decent chapters by my standards.

Given the fact that I highly doubt the story will ever be published I don’t really need to worry about that just yet, but I still do and I’d like to hear what you think. The simple fact that it’s getting very long is a problem for any publishing ambitions as well because a first time author probably wouldn’t get away with that either.

I think you should focus on getting your story written down first, then worry about wether or not its too long or if the publisher will like it.

 

[TWErvin2]

If you're worried about length, go back and examine: What does the reader actually need to know (see, learn, experience--through dialogue, actions etc.) and allow the story to move forward, cutting what's not needed.

You may need to write the story before going back and editing/cutting and revising.

Each chapter/section should have at least one objective to be met--something that moves the story forward.

 

[Devor]

I’ve got five chapters and a prologue now, about 25 000 words and my main character Lenima is still struggling through her magical illness and I’ve realised that the ritual they’re going to do to cure her will probably take up another chapter.

After this she has to travel to another country to meet her mentor, be attacked on the way to his home, learn to control her magic and go to school, where she’s going to find out quite a few plot-relevant things. Only when this is done, the actual quest is going to start where she joins a group travelling the country to find dangerous magical substances hidden by a past villain before the current villains do.

I'm not going to comment on a lot, but it sounds to me like you need to focus your story more and make a few cuts. Another possibility is to have certain elements overlap more - why couldn't she have gotten sick while at school? Why can't she find out plot-related events before the ritual? That sort of thing - to help move things along.

Splitting your work into a few books is also an option, but that can be more involving than it sounds. Breaking it into two provides more space but also demands a more intense, book-worthy plot. Maybe that's right for you, but my impression is that you need to kill your darlings and focus your story on the throughline.

 

[Penpilot]

I agree with splitting the story. I read the summary and it looks like a trilogy. My thoughts are, if I were to structure a story like this, her getting to the magic school and learning a few things would be the end point of the first part. Maybe the second part could be the quest for the substances. And the third maybe could deal with some unintended consequences of completing that quest. But this is based on the brief description so take it for what it's worth.

 

[ThinkerX]

I would point out that the sample sections used on this site for review and critique tend to be on the overly short side, compared to actual chapters.

25,000 words for what you have so far sounds about right, actually.

The story takes as long to tell as it takes.

 

[Shockley]

First off, never write for length. Tell the story first and foremost - length should always be a secondary concern. Once you've written out, sit on the story for a while. Don't look at it, don't think about it - just let it be and lose as much of the plot and the details as you possibly can. Then, crack it open.

Read it from start to finish. Think about what stuck out in the story and what didn't. Decide at that point whether you'd be better off writing it as multiple books or performing radical surgery.

All I know is that if you start obsessing over length and details at this point you're very, very likely to become dissatisfied with the work as a whole.

 

[JCFarnham]

I would point out that the sample sections used on this site for review and critique tend to be on the overly short side, compared to actual chapters.

25,000 words for what you have so far sounds about right, actually.

The story takes as long to tell as it takes.

It suprises be that so many people are saying this. I wasn't under the impression that the work in showcase was of any substandard length haha.

Anyway, the fact is that it doesn't strictly matter how long or short you want you're chapters to be, or whether you even want them at all. Two authors, Douglas Adams and Kevin Crossley-Holland, both have little consistency in the length of their chapters. In fact, they could have anything from a page to regular length, or even single paragraphs or two lines per chapter in Kevin's case (then we have the author of House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski, but that's another can of worms entirely).

Shockley makes a couple of very good points

 

[Rullenzar]

Most people have already hit the nail on the head so I won't say too much. The general idea here is you shouldn't be focusing on anything aside from telling the story the way you want to tell it. Nothing else matters right now except the story. Once the story is done and you have all the pieces then you can go back and either add more, cut parts, edit, etc...

Like Shockley said, if you obsess about things like length before you even finish the story chances are you will never get it done or lose interest in it entirely.

 

[Sheilawisz]

Amanita, if your novel about Lenima turns out to be 90k words in the end that would be just fine, it would not be too long!! 80k would be better considering that it's your first book, so if you already have 25k words then you still have plenty of room to write and finish your story =)

What I would do with a story like this is to write a trilogy (and from your description, it feels like a trilogy!!) that gives more room to expand a story, to tell every single part of it... this is what I did with my first Fantasy story, and it worked just fine.

Good luck!!

 

[Amanita]

Thank your everyone.
I think I'm just writing down my first draft and take a look at it later. Maybe something can be cut out, maybe it should be split into a trilogoy as many of you have suggested. And I should rather write than ask for every little thing that comes to my mind or I'll never finish.