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Valanya- Map, Culture, Religions and Empires/Kingdoms to be added soon!

vidcom

Acolyte
Magic system for this book I might write is as follows, constructive criticism would be much appreciated:

Magic, as a whole, is divided into 3 forms:

Fireform, Iceform, and Powerform

Fireform can be obtained by swallowing a piece of Adfyr, a metal that can be mined. Once obtained, your ability in the form is as follows:
You can throw a small fireball (doesn't explode, just makes things ignite) which goes out pretty quickly (offensive), the ability to light a small patch in front of you (defensive), and the ability to turn small quantities of water into lava.
After mastering them, infuse Adfyr with iron, swallow it, and you get the following abilities as well as the previous:
The ability to throw down a hail of large fireballs (these don't explode either) in an area around you, the ability to make a bubble of fire around you (BUT unlike the others, this can hurt you, and once up will not move) and the ability to turn reasonably large amounts of water into lava.
Master THEM as well, then infuse Adfyr with Farasium (fictional metal, with interesting properties) and you will get (still maintaining the previous two branches) the ability to summon..

An INFERNO!

An Inferno is exhausting to maintain, but while up will do the following:

Fireballs flying around you as protection, the sky turns red, fireballs rain from the sky, and all liquid in about a 500m radius is lava.




In the world where the book is set (Valanya), those who can do the first branch of abilities above are Sparkgifted, those who can do the second are Flamegifted, and those who can do the third are Infernogifted. There are a great deal of Sparkgifted in Valanya, a moderate number of Flamegifted, and Infernogifted are extremely rare, and most serve Emperors and Kings, due to their powers and rarity. However, Adfyr is not the only metal in existence. Isgebind gives it's Gifted similar abilities, but of that with ice, which are as follows:

A Crystalgifted (equivalent tier to a Sparkgifted) can summon a small ball of ice, a little bigger than a piece of hail (offensive), make a small icicle sticking up in front of them (defensive) and freeze a small amount of liquid.
Once mastered, infuse Isgebind with iron and swallow it, you become Freezegifted, which enables you to (along with the first few abilities) do the following:
Start a hail of large iceballs from the sky (offensive), summon a large wall of ice about 2m thick in front of them (defensive), and freeze a relatively large amount of a liquid.
If THAT is mastered, then infuse Isgebind with Farasium and you will become Tempestgifted, which lets you summon a Tempest of epic proportions (Icebergs from the sky, all liquids in the area are frozen, you're protected by a large wall of ice)

The rarity of Sparkgifted and Crystalgifted is about the same, and the same with Flamegifted and Freezegifted, and with Infernogifted and Tempestgifted. The powers are perfectly matched in ability, and are exhausting to use at first. "Mastering" a level is when you can do it without any noticeable sign from your body language. Using a level is exhausting to a near-hospitalizing level when first using it, but with practice the user will get stronger and be able to cope better. The ability to actually use a power in the first place is hereditary, but once you've used one you can't use the other, so most families which have the ability stick to one metal, but having a family history of Crystalgifted and Freezegifted doesn't stop one becoming Spark or Flamegifted. Most kings will have 1, maybe 2, Tempest and/or Infernogifted, a particularly powerful Emperor might have possibly 5. The plot kicks in when a third metal is discovered, the metal of Powerform, Beadmaegen.

Adfyr and Isgebind are relatively rare, but nothing ridiculous. Beadmaegen was delayed for so long because it can only be made if a compound of both Adfyr and Isgebind is hit with an Iceball and Fireball simultaneously, with the quality being affected by the time of day (Twilight provides the best results). It is discovered by a king who wanted to have both Flame and Iceform in him, but instead got Powerform. The branches of Powerform is as follows:

If you're Pushgifted, you can throw someone or something about 5m up (offensive), push them just enough so they don't move (defensive), and can destroy a small amount of liquid.
Master that, infuse Beadmaegen with iron and swallow it, you become Throwgifted.
Throwgifted can: Make a moderately sized area around them explode (no fire though, and this won't hurt them) (offensive), Throw something or someone 10m backwards away from you (defensive), and destroy a relatively large amount of liquid.
Master being a Throwgifted, and swallow an infusion of Beadmaegen with Farasium, you become Blastgifted. Blastgifted have (along with all the other previous branches) to:
Start a Windstorm (throws back enemies that get about 10m close, and is also a normal storm. No rain though), makes a massive explosion (this could easily wipe a castle from the face of existence), destroy all liquids nearby, but also has an additional ability, that there's no similarity to in the other two metals, Adfyr and Isgebind; it can reflect all enchantments and their effect from any Flame, Ice or Powerform spells, and any enchanted weapons.


All the metals can be crafted into swords and bows, which change the effect of their damage. An Adfyr bow's arrows set the target on fire upon impact, Isgebind arrows literally freeze them to a block of ice, and Beadmaegen arrows throw them an immense distance at incredible speed. A sword crafted from the metals does the same thing as the arrow equivalents, but both act strangely around contact of a -form using the same metal around them.

Picture of the World of Valanya, and the more important landmasses:
Fibqe.gif


Picture of the World of Valanya, and the political borders, capitals and other cities:
JhJSu.gif


There are also races! These are as follows:

Men, Ice Elves, Elves, Dwarves, Sheenska, Doraas, Khalvar, Meram, Lattivans. You're all probably familiar with Men, Dwarves and Elves, and have an idea of what Ice Elves are, but I'll leave the Lattivans, Doraas, Sheenska, Khalvar and Meram for the novel >:D

Any loopholes, problems, or errors you can find in this, please say, and I'll improve it to fix it. Thank you for reading this ^_^
 
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vidcom

Acolyte
The plot orbits around the creation of Beadmaegen; for hundreds of years, Adfyr and Isgebind were both used in perfect balance, and now a Third Form has been found, and the race is on to become Powerforms for the different Empires and Kingdoms, and also exploring this strange new creation. Characters will come at a later point
 

vidcom

Acolyte
I have, but instead of the constant stream of metal that Mistborn/Mistings require in his series, this is a one-off, but I have used many of his concepts mixed in with mine and a few others :p
 

Roc

Troubadour
You've got an interesting idea there for sure, I enjoyed reading your magical system.

I just have a plausability quesiton.

How do you eat metal?

Also, I feel like you're taking the easy way out, you're not really explaining where magic comes from, just eat this metal and you get mega cool pew pew powers to blow up shit and make boom booms. (I'm not a fan of fireball throwing magic)

Other than that I really didn't see problems other than at some parts it reads like an RPG. Good luck :D
 

vidcom

Acolyte
You don't eat it as such, you swallow it in the same way you might swallow a medicinal tablet; in a single gulp, in small amounts, and you don't really taste it (the time that it's made also affects beadmaegen, with twilight giving the best results).

The idea for the series though is that magic starts off as a mysterious thing that no one really understands, but they know is there and is very powerful, but the main character (SPOILER ALERT!!) explores it in a very scientific way to understand it
 

Roc

Troubadour
Ah, okay, that makes more sense. I was like, I don't know if I'd want to eat a chunk of metal to gain powers. A scientific approach to magic is always interesting, it's hard to relate fireballs to E=mc^2, but you can do it :D

Good luck
 
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