Ireth
Myth Weaver
Hoe do you craft your beginnings to hook your readers and reel them into your story? I'm having trouble with this in my novel Winter's Queen, which I had thought finished, but apparently it still needs a lot of work. I've received feedback from both agents and members of this site that the first scene doesn't hook them. I myself really like the scene in question, because it shows the heroine and her father in their normal, happy lives, with hints of lurking darkness around the corners, before said heroine gets kidnapped.
I've since tried to revise the scene three times, and each time I like it less and less. The first time or two, I tried to weld a hook onto the first couple of paragraphs, which to me felt clunky and artificial, and not quite fitting with the tone of the later subject matter. The third (still incomplete) revision is a total rewrite, with a much grimmer tone and a definite sense of danger. I like that one least of all, despite it being appealing to a beta reader, because it basically consists of an almost-argument between the heroine and her father on whether she's allowed to go out at night on Halloween when the Fae are abroad, and why she legitimately shouldn't go. Aside from the fact that Ariel has good reason NOT to go out, and I NEED her to for the plot to work (so having her father talk her into staying home is a bad idea), I want the father/daughter relationship to be shown in a happy light before the poo hits the fan in the following scene. In light of this, I have no idea what to do: go with a beginning I personally hate but others like, or stay true to my original vision as much as possible?
For those interested in reading the scene in question, it's here: http://mythicscribes.com/forums/showcase/4848-rethinking-my-opening-scene.html
I've since tried to revise the scene three times, and each time I like it less and less. The first time or two, I tried to weld a hook onto the first couple of paragraphs, which to me felt clunky and artificial, and not quite fitting with the tone of the later subject matter. The third (still incomplete) revision is a total rewrite, with a much grimmer tone and a definite sense of danger. I like that one least of all, despite it being appealing to a beta reader, because it basically consists of an almost-argument between the heroine and her father on whether she's allowed to go out at night on Halloween when the Fae are abroad, and why she legitimately shouldn't go. Aside from the fact that Ariel has good reason NOT to go out, and I NEED her to for the plot to work (so having her father talk her into staying home is a bad idea), I want the father/daughter relationship to be shown in a happy light before the poo hits the fan in the following scene. In light of this, I have no idea what to do: go with a beginning I personally hate but others like, or stay true to my original vision as much as possible?
For those interested in reading the scene in question, it's here: http://mythicscribes.com/forums/showcase/4848-rethinking-my-opening-scene.html