Tom
Istar
Or would that be yeah?
Well, as usual, I just had a random piece of dialogue pop into my head fully formed while I was in the shower. And I then raised an eyebrow, my inner writer awakening to scream and ragestomp and basically tell me NO, under NO circumstances are you to use this dialogue!
Why?
Because it had the word "yeah" in it. Modern slang. My inner writer shivers in horror at the idea of modern slang being used in my high-ish fantasy novel.
Here's the full piece of dialogue, by the way. It's a scene where my MC Tomrin has just unlocked his magic and is panicking, hoping he won't kill anyone with it. A secondary character, Miekkhal, has experience with unruly magic and offers to help him control it.
TOMRIN: How do you live like this? How can you stand it?
MIEKKHAL: You feel it now, yeah? The fire in your veins? The fever-strength simmering just beneath your skin?
TOMRIN: It's terrible. I...I feel like a monster.
MIEKKHAL: I know. But I can help you chain it and bend it to your will.
I think my subconscious dialogue writer was going for a hint of a dialect in Miekkhal's voice with the whole "yeah" thing. It's a pretty common way to end a question where I live.
So what do you think? Should I keep the "yeah", or listen to my inner writer and do away with it?
Well, as usual, I just had a random piece of dialogue pop into my head fully formed while I was in the shower. And I then raised an eyebrow, my inner writer awakening to scream and ragestomp and basically tell me NO, under NO circumstances are you to use this dialogue!
Why?
Because it had the word "yeah" in it. Modern slang. My inner writer shivers in horror at the idea of modern slang being used in my high-ish fantasy novel.
Here's the full piece of dialogue, by the way. It's a scene where my MC Tomrin has just unlocked his magic and is panicking, hoping he won't kill anyone with it. A secondary character, Miekkhal, has experience with unruly magic and offers to help him control it.
TOMRIN: How do you live like this? How can you stand it?
MIEKKHAL: You feel it now, yeah? The fire in your veins? The fever-strength simmering just beneath your skin?
TOMRIN: It's terrible. I...I feel like a monster.
MIEKKHAL: I know. But I can help you chain it and bend it to your will.
I think my subconscious dialogue writer was going for a hint of a dialect in Miekkhal's voice with the whole "yeah" thing. It's a pretty common way to end a question where I live.
So what do you think? Should I keep the "yeah", or listen to my inner writer and do away with it?