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Heya

I'm just gonna preface this by saying I'm absolutely terrible at introductions.

That said, hi everybody.

I'm a self taught writer with years of writing experience, though I don't really have anything to show for it nor have I got anywhere with any big projects. I know what my flaws are and I hope to fix those though. I don't stick strictly to fantasy but it does make up a good chunk of my writing and reading. I can't say how good I am since I've never really had much in the way of outside opinions on my pieces. But then, that's part of why I'm here, right?

Anyway, if you have any questions, I'm open to them. If not, I look forward to working and talking with you all.

Until then.
 

San Cidolfus

Troubadour
Hello and welcome to you, Chairslayer. You've found a fine and enviable community of writers here, and we're happy to have you.

So let me ask, do you have a trophy room full of epic chairs you have slain in mortal combat? Because you totally should.
 
In fact I do. This isn't just a user name, after all. This is a nickname which I have earned on the field several times. I made a necklace from pieces of their legs and brought their cushioning to a taxidermist so they could stuff it and mount it to my wall, even. (For all the sense that makes.) I could go on about war stories if you'd like.

You know the sad thing is, it actually is a nickname. I should get a trophy room though... Good idea. I've decided that you'll be a good person to keep around.
 

San Cidolfus

Troubadour
I've decided that you'll be a good person to keep around.

You're certainly welcome to try; others have attempted to keep me, and it's gone poorly for them. Now they are only a footnote in my legend. :cool:

I've never slain chairs myself. I've had altercations with the odd sofa or ottoman, and things got ugly once with a divan possessed of nefarious intent, but I've never had encounters with chairs. They've always minded their own business around me.
 
I was just about to edit saying how I was wondering how long that'd take before it became a bad idea.

And you might count yourself lucky then. Those chairs, they may not be as durable as your garden variety love seat, or even as intimidating as some bean bags out there, but that's where they get you. Underestimation is a deadly enemy, you know. They're probably just waiting for you to get nice and comfortable with them. Or on them, even. You never know.
 

San Cidolfus

Troubadour
Those chairs, they may not be as durable as your garden variety love seat, or even as intimidating as some bean bags out there, but that's where they get you. Underestimation is a deadly enemy, you know. They're probably just waiting for you to get nice and comfortable with them. Or on them, even. You never know.

Maybe. But paranoia and a fondness for never being unarmed have served me well in the past, and I work to ensure they shan't fail me in the future.

To date, the only adversary that's ever gotten the drop on me was an act of God. I haven't fully sized Him up yet...but I'm working on it.
 
Ah, yes, a tricky one, that God fellow.

Should the need arise, you have my blade. I would say "God speed to you, sir," but I suppose that would probably be sort of counter-intuitive in this situation.
 

San Cidolfus

Troubadour
I would say "God speed to you, sir," but I suppose that would probably be sort of counter-intuitive in this situation.

Not at all. Godspeed is the penultimate goal. It's from there that we force ourselves beyond Godspeed, to the unknown higher-than-alpha speeds. Meme archivists might say it's Plaid Speed or Chuck Norris speed, but I'm a realist. It's an unknown; I'll know when I achieve it.

And I always welcome a good blade at my side, sir.
 
Ah, this is the section of the introduction where we get into the metaphysical, then? And what happens after it's achieved? Where do you go with this new speed?

And actually, I'll keep my good blade at my side. I think I'll probably need it. I'll just offer to follow and swing it around at things instead. A little more practical.
 

San Cidolfus

Troubadour
Achieving faster than Godspeed would cause a shift in my perception of reality. I've conditioned myself for it, but there's truly no knowing how it will affect me until the moment is nigh. The best I can do is meditate and train. I've accepted the fact that breaking that barrier will remake the way I perceive the world. Any goals I may set for myself with my current understanding of reality will almost certainly seem infinitesimal once I've breached that horizon. Thus I do not think of what will come after; only reaching that threshold to a place outside of eternity. What follows will be the coming of an entity too great and terrible to prophesy; we know only that it will arrive.

But I'll probably use it to keep track of my keys. Damn things always get away from me.
 
Yeah, I think I did come to the right board after all. Couldn't ask for a better first impression.

Well done sir.
 
Hi there Chairslayer, you seem to be fitting in well around here. I suppose we all have an interesting story about how we got our nicknames, remind to tell you how I got mine someday;).
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
Welcome to the Scriptorium, Chairslayer! It's great to have you here! :D I'm looking forward to seeing your contributions to our community!
 

Klee Shay

Troubadour
I have a recalcitrant lawn chair that may need to be put in its place, providing your rates are reasonable.

Welcome.
 
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