A Question of (Too) Graphic?

[Graylorne]

Eidungruve was an obscenity. The rows of rotting heads had served as meals for the ravens, but there were too many of them to eat all. 'Ullr aid me,' said Tuuri softly. He fixed his eyes on the clear sky and marched inside. Here, it was even worse. To the right lay a heap of bodies, mostly female, some of them had been dead for quite some time. Inside the longhouse, most of the men were drunk and in various states of unreadiness. Only the Warchief, Tarkynn Vulf, sat in the high chair, looking as fresh as ever.

The above text one of my beta readers found borderline too graphic.
I'm writing for all ages (15+, that is) and I would like your opinions. Is this really too explicit?

 

[Steerpike]

That's pretty tame, Graylorne. Your beta-reader may be over-sensitive. By the standard of what is on the shelf in mainstream novels, this is no problem.

 

[Sparkie]

I've seen worse. And I've written worse.

 

[Graylorne]

Thanks, Steerpke. And yes, she is.
She's a great beta reader, though. Line edits everythink that reeks after sex, blasphemy, fluff and humor out of my texts and that forces me to think about it. I put a lot of it back, but she is often enough right.
In this case I wasn't sure, though.

 

[Ayaka Di'rutia]

You're not being overly graphic, so it looks fine to me, even for that particular audience. Violence and death should only be described enough to get a message across, not to glorify in the amount of gore and such you can write about. You described it enough to give the reader a good idea of the scene, and I can already sense the disgust without you having to describe it anymore.

 

[kayd_mon]

Looks like good writing to me. Carry on!

 

[ndmellen]

I'm inclined to agree with some, and disagree with others. No, I don't think it's too graphic. My work in progress is dark fantasy, and I prefer to almost go over the top with scenes like this. It's one thing for the reader to "know things are bad", but I want my reader to "feel" the same horror that my character is. This isn't to say every scene should be a blood bath, but sometimes a bit of overly stark detail can really drive the point home. Just my thoughts.

 

[Motley]

A couple of rotting heads never hurt anyone, 15-years-old or over. I agree with the others in saying this is rather tame.

 

[Graylorne]

Thanks, all. Glad to know my instincts were right. I'm with Ayaka in this, I rather hint at horror than describe it in full. I'm inclined to leave the filling in to the reader's imagination.

 

[SeverinR]

A couple of rotting heads never hurt anyone, 15-years-old or over. I agree with the others in saying this is rather tame.

Unless its your head thats rotting of course.
Of course 15+ yr olds, based on their music, might already have rotting heads.
DOH! I've become my parents!

by movie rating, I would say PG13 at worst, maybe just PG. For 15+ I'd say thats right where you want to be.

NC17- Describe the smell, change food for ravens to actually describe the condition of the heads in more detail, and maybe the fluid puddles? Or mice or rats in the mix.

I don't think you are any where near too graphic as written.

 

[Graylorne]

He he, you're a great comfort, SeverinR.

 

[Penpilot]

Not even close to being too graphic. Not any worse that anything from A Game of Thrones.

 

[Velka]

Nothing says "Obey me!" like a head on a pike.

It read well to me; enough to set the scene and let the reader's imagination take over. My horrible mind filled in a lot of horrible things.

 

[Devora]

I've seen worse. And I've written worse.

Same here. it would be worse if you were to describe HOW the ravens were eating the heads.

 

[Graylorne]

Perhaps the piece was graphic when compared to the rest of the book. I'm definitely old-school, and I don't write gritty. I'm not a fan of GoT either, more like Eddings. That's why I much rather hint about horrors that that I describe how the hungry ravens tore the rotting meat from the soundlessly screaming heads etc.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Let's see, when I was fifteen... I once tried to pick up a dead rabbit from the road. Made my friend pull over and everything. I sort of lost the nerve though when it was all soft and floppy. I expected it to be hard and cold... so I left it in the road, but not before chucking the plastic bag I touched it with, in the road too. You know... I never wondered whether that was demented of me.. weird thing was, I felt loads of guilt for littering that bag. No concerns that I was out scavenging road kill though. The moral? A fifteen-year-old can handle a little blood and guts. Your passage is perfectly fine, and I thought worded very well. Sounds like an interesting segment.

 

[Graylorne]

Thanks, CM. Good I just finished breakfast, what an absolutely disgusting idea

The scene is part of the story with the girl who adventured with a baby. Remember we discussed that sometime last year? She's still going strong. The baby didn't make it through the war, alas, but she's pregnant again.