Aspiring fantasy writer! Looking for beta-readers and constructive criticism!

[Gurtegbedi]

Hello everyone! Nice to meet you all, me and my fiancée have finally finished our first manuscript and we are currently looking for beta-readers and feedback before we go through the painful ritual of querying literary agents!

We have written a 144K word epic dark portal fantasy following the story of Katherine Crane, a 22 year old graduate student who was transported into the grim world of Koshmar by the Weirdsmen of Koshmar to serve as a doppelganger for a recently deceased princess to ensure a politically important marriage is honored. With 5 POV characters, the world of Koshmar is heavily based on Old English/ Celtic folk horror with Indo-European religious elements. The idea of the story is to present the friction between a modern woman and a dark medieval fantasy world with a deadly serious tone and urgency. We predict it will be very popular amongst millennial readers, but we are still open to feedback! Please send me a message if you're interested in being a beta-reader!

 

[Karlin]

First of all, good luck! And congratulations on finishing this.
Personally, I will pass, but others may be interested. Perhaps post a paragraph or two (not more) to give us an idea of your writing.

 

[Gurtegbedi]

Sure, we already have a query letter blurb


"In Koshmar, the night belongs to wicked fairies and blackhearted spirits. By day, harsher evils rule, for the law must burn sinners alive to preserve the favor of the gods.

When Princess Leowynn, the last legitimate heir of the House of the Atalingas, dies of plague, her death threatens to unravel the fragile marriage pact holding the rival kingdoms of Dathlin and the Skai at peace. Without her, succession collapses, old claims resurface, and a divided realm teeters on the brink of civil war. To avert catastrophe, the Weirdsman Oberyn and his apprentice Brigg perform a forbidden rite to summon a Fetch to impersonate the princess. Instead of a bound spirit, they draw a stranger into their world: Katheryn “Kat” Crane, a graduate student from Massachusetts who bears an uncanny resemblance to Leowynn.

Forced to assume the princess’s identity, Kat becomes the center of the realm’s stability. At court, every gesture carries political consequence, and discovery would see her burned as a conjured abomination. Clovis, the king’s bastard son and a prince in all but name, watches Leowynn’s “return” reshape succession as the balance of power between Dathlin and the Skai grow increasingly unstable. Beyond the castle walls, Captain Floki of the Kearish patrols roads where villages bar their doors at dusk and travelers vanish into forests rumored to harbor an ancient evil.

When Kat is pressed into a political marriage meant to secure peace, the deception becomes a weapon… and a liability. Exposure risks shattering the alliance and igniting a bloody war. Yet the longer the lie holds, the more it tightens Koshmar’s grip on fear, faith, and bloodshed."