Chase scenes?

[AliceBaine]

Hey, everyone. I'm brand new to this forum, so I apologize if this topic's been brought up thousands of times.

I was curious what the general consensus was on chase scenes in a book. Are they intriguing to read, or is it better to keep it brief and to the point?

I'm reworking a chapter in my novel where the MC breaks out of a "prison" in a monster's cave and flees for the exit. I'm torn between reworking the current chapter, which runs about 4-5 pages of an escape sequence, or rewriting it from scratch and stripping it down to the bare bones, so to speak.

Let me know your thoughts. Thanks for your time!

 

[Chasejxyz]

Welcome! I haven't seen this topic before, and it's a good question.

You can think about it like how one thinks of a fight scene, or any action scene. What is the scene trying to accomplish, and what's the best way to do that? No one would want to read a battle where we get a blow-by-blow description of every single guy your hero whacks with his sword. It's okay to say "he fought for what felt like hours" or "he lost count of how many people fell to his blade." Then you can focus on the fight against the bad guy, or the hero's numbing to what's going on around him.

So what's your scene going to accomplish? Besides "they escape". Does this dangerous situation inspire a new power? Do they see interesting things on the way out? Do they see the monster for the first time? Spend your words on the stuff that really matters.

 

[Rosemary Tea]

In a book, a chase scene is only interesting if there are twists and turns in it that can be describe. Character being chased stumbles and falls. Character feels the hot breath of the monster on his neck, and is sure it has him, but then....

If it's just the character running, running, running until they've escaped, then there's really nothing to write. A screen treatment of that could keep it exciting, but it doesn't work for the printed page. In that case, it's better to say something like, "He ran until he could run no more, then looked behind him."

 

[Prince of Spires]

I think in general you want to show important parts of your story. And escaping from a monster's cave sounds pretty important to me, story wise (though I could be wrong of course since I haven't read it). So I would lean towards showing the escape and chase.

However, the important part to realise is that it's not a movie, you don't want to give us a full description of all steps he takes. Focus on important moments in the chase, when something happens, something goes wrong or they achieve succes. Think of it like The Lord of the Rings. (which is sort of one very slow, very long chase). The scenes described are those where something happens. We zoom in on moments. And, equally important, we cna get in the heads of the characters. What are they thinking or feeling during the chase? How do they feel when something goes wrong? What plans do they make and how do they adapt?

If you want to read some actual chase scenes, pick up pretty much any novel by Clive Cussler. At least all his Dirk Pitt novels have a big car chase scene in them (normally involving old-timers).

 

[AliceBaine]

Thanks for all the advice!

It's a tricky chapter, because the escape is obviously important, but there are events transpiring outside of the cave that were brought about by the MC getting trapped, which I feel is where the conflict, tension and drama are most prominent . I'm debating trimming the escape sequence to where the MC sneaks out instead, but gets caught right at the exit and has to fight with it to escape, rather than be chased throughout the entire cave. I think it'll save the reader from having to slog through a long chase.

Thanks again for the advice. It's nice to have some other brains to pick at for this stuff!

 

[ButlerianHeretic]

An escape is a great opportunity to show how proactive the character is. And a chase can give a lot of opportunities for character development. Are they exhilarated by being able to escape? Are they fleeing in a panic? Are they memorizing the route so they can return for revenge? Or do they sprint to the next good hiding place forcing their enemies to advance carefully to avoid being ambushed? If it is a cave, are there choke-points where only a single enemy can approach at a time? Maybe even tunnels that must be crawled through where they could wait on the other side, only for their pursuers to find another route forcing them to run again? If they are fleeing in a panic their fear remind them of some old trauma they suffered? Or maybe about how this time they got away?

 

[Stevie]

Thanks for all the advice!

It's a tricky chapter, because the escape is obviously important, but there are events transpiring outside of the cave that were brought about by the MC getting trapped, which I feel is where the conflict, tension and drama are most prominent . I'm debating trimming the escape sequence to where the MC sneaks out instead, but gets caught right at the exit and has to fight with it to escape, rather than be chased throughout the entire cave. I think it'll save the reader from having to slog through a long chase.

Thanks again for the advice. It's nice to have some other brains to pick at for this stuff!

Sounds like you've got a solution there. Maybe just to give you some ideas, I've got a chase sequence in my WIP, it starts as paniced flight by my MC, followed by an ambush, forcing MC to swim for it (nearly drowning), hauling herself ashore, thinking she's safe then starts all over aginan as a cat and mouse thing with her stalker, before reaching a conclusion. The actual running bit is fairly brief, maybe no more than a few paragraphs over five or six pages.

A chase is a brilliant way to work in some fast moving action and show off some of your MC's character. So, go for it! See what you can work in to make it interesting

 

[Mad Swede]

Thanks for all the advice!

It's a tricky chapter, because the escape is obviously important, but there are events transpiring outside of the cave that were brought about by the MC getting trapped, which I feel is where the conflict, tension and drama are most prominent . I'm debating trimming the escape sequence to where the MC sneaks out instead, but gets caught right at the exit and has to fight with it to escape, rather than be chased throughout the entire cave. I think it'll save the reader from having to slog through a long chase.

Thanks again for the advice. It's nice to have some other brains to pick at for this stuff!

You know, I'd suggest reading the third book in Davud Eddings "The Belgariad". His description of the escape from Rak Cthol is a very good example of an escape sequence, and its also quite a contrast with the fairly detailed description of how they get into to the city in the first place.

When I'm writing an escape or action sequence I find that the level of detail I need is set by how I've bult up the run in to the sequence. It also varies with how much detail I've already put into the setting and the character development elsewhere in the story. If the details and characters are already reasonably complete then I find that I only need the really essential details which set the escape or acti0n sequenec apart from other scenes in the book. Yes, I might include short descriptions of sounds and other peripheral (to the action/escape) things, but these are just to add a bit of depth so it isn't too flat. But it doesn't need to be a blow by blow accopunt, if you see what I mean.

 

[AliceBaine]

This is all fantastic advice. Thanks everyone!

 

[ThinkerX]

Put yourself in the characters head. Growing exhaustion. Pain. attempting to evaluate potential routes while on the run. does that door open onto a storage closet - or a stairwell? how to slow down or stop the guards hot on his heels? Is pain/injury slowing his movements? if so, describe it.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

This is our big chase scene from our second book, Ties of Blood and Bone. It's a bit longish, but there's lots of action and the language that comes with it. Hope this is helpful!


Instinct took over and Winter let Alerich pull her along, running beside him toward the big patron parking lot. Footsteps sounded against the cobblestones of Pacifica Street behind them and echoed off the brick buildings, Magnus Ashimar in hot pursuit. Only the occasional human pedestrian kept them from casting spells at each other, for which Winter was grateful. The Servants of the Eldest would not look favorably on public displays of magic.

But once they made it to their warded cars, all bets would be off. Unless they actually managed to hit a human’s vehicle, the humans on the road would instinctively avoid them, but not be able to see them.

Winter’s foot skidded on some ice, nearly bringing her down, but Alerich’s arm wrapped around her waist and held her to his side, keeping her upright.

One of the other men snapped out with his fingers and the doors of Alerich’s red sports car flew open, dinging one of the cars beside it. They piled inside, the two men in the back and Alerich in the driver’s seat with Winter beside him. They had barely thrown the car into drive when a flash and a crunch sounded against the side, followed by cursing from the back seat. Apparently, Magnus had found an opening for a spell, but the steel body of the car and whatever spellwork Alerich and his friends had placed on it had absorbed its fury.

Alerich floored the gas and they went skidding along the slick pavement, passing Magnus as he dove into a black SUV.

The shops along Sequoia Avenue went by in a blur. There was another flash and one of the men cried out in alarm. “He’s got a tracker on us. Can you get it off?”

“Not and drive, Thomas.” Alerich glanced at Winter. “Seatbelts, everyone. This is going to be a rough ride.”

Winter pulled her seatbelt on, watching Alerich closely. “Jessie has gone missing. Do you have something to do with that?”

Alerich grimaced and cursed under his breath. “No, I don’t. I would never hurt her. But I think I know who did. With my father busy chasing you, it must have been his sport, Bastian.”

Winter could sense the truth in his words. “Who is Bastian?”

Alerich slipped past a truck like it was standing still and then was forced to slow by turning onto Merchant Street. “He’s a sadistic little shit in service to my father. We’ll need to get her back before he hurts her.”

Winter’s heart sped up even faster. “Where are they?”

“My bet is the vineyard my father has rented. But first, we need to get him off our tail, or there won’t be much left of us to put together a rescue.”

Winter pointed to the onramp coming up ahead. “Get to the Outer Road and to Mulcahy House. The House has powerful protections. Your father won’t be able to get in.”

The taller of the other two men looked up from his phone. “Fitz Martin. Pleasure to rescue you. Will he be able to knock it down?”

Winter smiled and shook her head. “Not in this lifetime.”

Alerich sped up the onramp to the Outer Road, forcibly slowed by traffic and the road, the black SUV keeping pace behind them. The SUV suddenly roared and bucked, pulling up alongside them, and with a sudden jerk to the right rammed the sports car from the side, eliciting a scream from Winter.

Alerich fought to keep control, to not run off the ramp or into any of the other vehicles. He slammed on the breaks, forcing his father to shoot ahead, and then floored the gas, roaring up behind and around the SUV, taking cover behind a semi.

A tire on the semi blew in a veil of blue sparks, swinging the trailer wide across traffic, and Alerich barely missed being swept off the road, pumping magic into the engine to force it forward faster. Ever faster. He shot past the disabled semi and roared past a sedan onto the open road.

Somehow, Magnus was also able to pour magic into his engine. Winter could feel it as the SUV crept ever closer to their bumper, threatening to ram them again.

Her mailbox came into sight, the gold lettering shining against the big black box. “We’re here! Turn left!”

Alerich again slammed on his breaks, forcing his father to panic brake behind him, and then he hit the gas, barreling toward the mile-long drive. He came into the turn in a smoking skid, leaving long black streaks behind him, and floored it as he tore up the lane, engine screaming.

The SUV was not far behind. Winter watched in the mirror as Magnus’s arm extended from the window, flames licking along his hand. No! The fireball struck them in the back left, lurching the car up and forward on its front tires. Thomas cried out in pain.

The back end of the sports car slammed down to the pavement, bouncing Winter hard against her seatbelt. Alerich reached over and jerked her belt free. “We have to get out of this car.” He snapped his own and turned to help Fitz with Thomas. The SUV was stopping behind them.

They needed more time.

Winter pulled her paintball gun from her bag and checked the potion ball hopper. Banishing potion would do her no good, here, but thankfully she had traded it out before meeting the wolves just in case things went sideways. She pushed her door open and used the top of the car to aim, just like Etienne had taught her to.

Three large, sickly yellow splats appeared on the SUV, one on the hood and two on the windshield. Immediately, the splats began to smoke heavily as the material they adhered to disintegrated. Magnus leapt from the smoking SUV, coughing and jerking at his jacket as it, too, smoked from small holes across one breast and a sleeve.

Fitz turned and looked as the three men exited the sports car, Thomas supported between the other two, and laughed raucously. “That’s delightfully unpleasant.”

Winter kept her paintball gun pointed at Magnus and flashed a small smile. She may be only a potion master, but she was still capable of some very unpleasant things. Unfortunately, actually shooting the other wizard wasn’t one of them, so while he slapped and cursed at her potion she stuffed the gun in her bag and ran for the House, pulling Alerich and his friends with her.

Thankfully, they did not have far to run—Alerich’s speeding having made quick work of the drive’s mile—and within a few dozen yards they were in the circle drive. However, Magnus did not need much time to recover, and a bolt of pure magic shot past them, skidding off the shield Alerich had cast on Winter and knocking her to one side. She scrambled to keep her feet, one hand on the pavement, and kept going.

Etienne came out of the House, gun in hand, glowering. “What the fuck is this?”

Winter waved him back. “Get back inside! Now!”

Etienne glanced behind her, and then surged forward, picking her up, and running back inside with his full sidhe speed… which was a bit faster than was expected.

But Winter did not have time to comment. Etienne put her on her feet and ran outside to help the others.

Winter slammed the door as Alerich brought up the rear, throwing raw magic at his father and setting a small tree on fire. “Everyone, back. Away from—”

A tremendous blast hit the front door, cracking it inwards and causing the magical wireframe of the House to shudder… and then it twisted in reverse, reforming and strengthening like a broken bone.

Winter stood, gasping for breath. “It’s a faerie building. He can’t destroy it because it constantly renews itself from Faerie itself. Just stay away from the windows. As you saw, he can knock them inwards a bit.”

Her phone rang, and she startled, almost forgetting it was in her pocket. It was Brian. “Brian, I am so sorry. Things exploded and we’re now at Mulcahy House.”

“That’s a relief. I’m at your store and I was worried you’d disappeared, too.”

Winter smiled at Alerich. “No, it’s okay. Someone did make a grab for me, but I was rescued.”

“I’m coming out to you.”

There was another explosion outside. “Let me call you with the all clear, first. It’s not safe out there, right now.”

“All right. I’ll be waiting.”

Etienne nodded as Winter ended the call. “Now that that is settled.” He pointed his gun at Alerich. “Tell me why I shouldn’t shoot him.”