Do you have anything you're embarrassed you wrote, but wrote it anyway? (like in High school etc)

[Naruzeldamaster]

I can't tell what high school me was thinking, but a lot of the stuff I wrote back then was just plain nonsensical. I even fell claim to the 'ultimate crossover fanfiction that just kept going because why not' at some point. (And yes that IS a thing, and it can be and is very cringe)

There are many things I'm not that proud of but I wrote them anyway, and one I actually was proud of has been lost to time lol

My focus has shifted to Original Fiction over Fanfiction compared to back in high school, so I think I've Matured on THAT front. But I don't know how much I've matured in other areas lol

 

[Incanus]

More or less, except for the 'wrote it anyway' part. When I was much younger, I realized fairly quickly that what I was writing was pretty terrible, so I didn't plow ahead.

By far, the biggest mistake I made back then was thinking I just didn't have the right abilities to produce readable fiction. Somehow, it didn't occur to me that I could improve with practice, so I didn't bother writing much at all for decades. I would come back to it every five or ten years or so, write something horrible, and give it up again. I'm not even quite sure how I got past that.

I'm still often pretty down on my writing because it's not as good as I would like it to be.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

More or less, except for the 'wrote it anyway' part. When I was much younger, I realized fairly quickly that what I was writing was pretty terrible, so I didn't plow ahead.

By far, the biggest mistake I made back then was thinking I just didn't have the right abilities to produce readable fiction. Somehow, it didn't occur to me that I could improve with practice, so I didn't bother writing much at all for decades. I would come back to it every five or ten years or so, write something horrible, and give it up again. I'm not even quite sure how I got past that.

I'm still often pretty down on my writing because it's not as good as I would like it to be.

We all are. I had so much stress in my life between April of 2017, the release of our first book and right now that I need lists to sort through everything.
It was so bad I went legit bug nuts crazy. I lose huge swaths of time, from a bit here and there, the ending of sentences, to April through October of 2022.

And yet still we write.

Don't pine for the beautiful language that it seems only master writers produce. You have words of your own, swimming about in your head until they crash land on your story. You have it in you to excel. and you have it in you to fail. Failing is easy. It's ordering a pizza and turning on the computer. Which path do you wish to take?

 

[pmmg]

Yes, but I was young...I needed the money...

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Plenty. Probably among the worst is that in my first serious attempt at an actual story, the love interest went to the Twilight School of Romance [watching the main character while she slept]. I have absolutely no idea why I added that, especially given my burning hatred of Twilight back then.

 

[Malik]

Yes, but I was young...I needed the money...

Beat me to it.

As to the initial question? Everything.

Humblebrag incoming: I may have had the bestselling indie fantasy debut in history--mainstream critical acclaim, >20K copies sold worldwide including the first 10K in 18 months, and still selling--yet, going back over the manuscript to ensure I'm not retconning anything, I cringe. I HATE PRIOR ME. PRIOR ME SUCKS AT WRITING AND SOMEONE SHOULD TELL HIM TO QUIT.

My book that came out yesterday is WAY better. And the next one will be better, still. That's how it works. It has to. I've been writing novels for 40 years, now; you can't do anything for this long and not improve at it.

I don't dare go back and look at trunked manuscripts.

 

[pmmg]

I’m just a fan of Rustlers Rhapsody.

I could not resist

 

[Karlin]

I wrote my first novel 20 years ago. Started during a period of unemployment. The premise was great, and the writing was OK, but looking at it 20 years later... Wife says to rewrite it. I don't feel the drive to do that.

 

[Mad Swede]

When I look back on the grubby bits of paper I wrote my first stories on I shake my head and smile. Then I remember where I was and what was going on around me when I wrote them and I feel a tinge of pride that I could write that well given the circumstances. No, they weren't good enough to be published. But they were the start...

 

[Miles Lacey]

The less said about my forays into fiction the better. I even self-published a book but it's name shall never grace my lips nor be mentioned on this forum. Now, pass over the vodka so I can blot out that memory.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Yes, but I was young...I needed the money...

Sounds like the reason the (original) super mario bros movie was made...
Apparently the director took the job because if he didn't he couldn't afford to buy his son new shoes.
After being told the reason for his father directing the movie, his son replied with "I don't need new shoes that badly dad"

The less said about my forays into fiction the better. I even self-published a book but it's name shall never grace my lips nor be mentioned on this forum. Now, pass over the vodka so I can blot out that memory.

Same, the less said the better, but I powered through them in the name of practicing. The ONLY one I'm remotely proud of is a Novelisation of Ocarina of Time. Looking back at it, it probably wasn't that good, but given my age at the time and how in love with the game I was I'm glad I finished that.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Beat me to it.

As to the initial question? Everything.

Humblebrag incoming: I may have had the bestselling indie fantasy debut in history--mainstream critical acclaim, >20K copies sold worldwide including the first 10K in 18 months, and still selling--yet, going back over the manuscript to ensure I'm not retconning anything, I cringe. I HATE PRIOR ME. PRIOR ME SUCKS AT WRITING AND SOMEONE SHOULD TELL HIM TO QUIT.

My book that came out yesterday is WAY better. And the next one will be better, still. That's how it works. It has to. I've been writing novels for 40 years, now; you can't do anything for this long and not improve at it.

I don't dare go back and look at trunked manuscripts.

I still write shit that embarrasses me. Those morning after discoveries when you know it wasn't the pot, but you're also sure you decided that what the night really needed was something sweet...

I still keep them. I keep it all. I screenshot my own troll posts. It's terrible. lol But it's also still a learning curve. To get into the whys, into the craft, and deep into 'Wait... I wrote this?'

I wrote my first novel 20 years ago. Started during a period of unemployment. The premise was great, and the writing was OK, but looking at it 20 years later... Wife says to rewrite it. I don't feel the drive to do that.

Then that's not the story you need to be telling right now. Go find that one. I'm doing development on a story 35 years in the making. A story's time will come if the Universe wants it.

 

[Mad Swede]

Then that's not the story you need to be telling right now. Go find that one. I'm doing development on a story 35 years in the making. A story's time will come if the Universe wants it.

The story you need to tell is the one you're working on right now. Or at least that's how it works for me. I never know how I find the time, to write the fifth novel, deal with my editors suggestions for the fourth novel and get all those short stories down as they spring to mind. But somehow I do, despite my dyslexia. And like Malik says, everything new we write is better than the last.

 

[pmmg]

While, admittedly, some of my earlier works were not very good, and could never get published. I am proud of all my stories. I put a little of myself into all of them, and they all lead to me becoming more skilled in my craft. There are many that became lost to me that I would not mind getting back, but, sadly, I think they will never be recovered.

 

[black magic]

In High School we had to do this piece of creative writing and I was so glad because I all ready wrote novels all the time.
I wrote out a story - no idea what it was about now. During that week I had this weird dream...I was in my home with my parents, siblings, family and even some high school friends popped in and out. It looked like my home. It felt like my home but I was convinced everyone was lying to me and it wasn't my home. The adults were all in on this lie and kids my age were clueless and didn't believe me and looked at me like I was crazy. In the dream I looked out the Living Room window and saw it was my garden. But convinced it was not I smashed the window, reached through and ripped down this paper that had a realistic picture of my garden on it, a bit like a wall mural and as I tore it away hard, stone brick was in it's place. I was right, this wasn't my home at all...then I woke up.

I immediately wrote the story down and made it my piece for English Class and became low key obsessed with this dream as it felt so real and when I woke up I didn't feel scared just exhilarated. Everyone in class looked at me like I was bonkers after it was read out. I was 13 or something but I got an A*.

Years later I had gone through some awful life stuff and my hobby of writing had pretty much been forgotten. My Mum was cleaning out clutter and found a box of all my old school reports, paintings, things I'd made and I found this writing amongst the stuff and I'll admit, reading it was so embarrassing. My Mum and I were laughing at all the spelling mistakes and my slang words. I'd almost totally forgotten that dream!

But my step-dad just sat there silent and afterwards he said that idea, taken out of the context of your house, would make an amazing twist in a novel. And suddenly, my writing juices came back and so here I am.

But reading it back was so cringe-worthy.

 

[Prince of Spires]

I don't get embarassed by what I've written. I do think some of it is bad (and some is half decent), but it doesn't embarras me. When I wrote it, I did the best I could. Would I write it differently now? I sure would.

However, writing is a journey, not a destination, and everything I wrote is a step along that journey. You can't write a masterpiece without first writing a ton of crap.

What actually helped me a lot with this mindset was reading the History of Middle Earth series. It's an academic overview of the works of Tolkien published by his son. It contains some of Tolkiens early writing (and drafts). And it's pretty bad. I love his writing, but those early drafts are terrible. And if a master of the craft can start out with terrible prose and end up writing a masterpiece that's still being read widely 50+ years after having been first published, then I don't have to feel too bad about my own writing.