Unfortunately Barbie ushered in a ten thousand year reign of pink terror.
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pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately. I like pink.
Finchbearer
Vala
Unfortunately this reign of pink began a thousand year war of blancmange. The viscous stuff was everywhere, and covered everyone, creating a new super-race, the creatures from the deep blancmange.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, the Blancmange, brought after it, a thousand years of no sickness, as it had increased natural immunities so much.
Phietadix
Auror
Unfortunately Glargablorg, hero of a million multiverses, noted that the all the world has become complacent with regards to sickness and plague. He begins selectively evolving his new virus that was able to overcome these strengthed immune systems to unleash upon the world and defeat all those that would oppose him, particularly Barbie. Allowing him to rule the creatures of magic and claim the rings of fortune.
Gospodin
Troubadour
Rings, you say? Fortunately, Midge the Merciless never met a ring she didn’t like. You know Midge, right? Barbie’s gal-pal? Mounted upon her mighty Megaloceros, cloven hooves striking sparks from the fundamental matrix of matter, she rides in filled with fury. She’s also got a thing for alliteration. No one’s perfect. She presses her steed forward. Behold, chaos is upon the land.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Unfortunately, Midge gets the ring of her choice, and soon becomes a big eye floating over a tower in a despotic land.
Phietadix
Auror
Fortunately, Barbie (who had been able to save both herself and a remnant of humanity from Glargablorg's plague using her vast medical expertise) saw how both Midge and Glargablorg were willing to do anything for the rings of fortune. She accepted the new career set for her, leader and protector of the free people of earth, and began accumulating allies and resources for the fighting of these two threats
Orc Knight
Auror
Unfortunately, her only two allies were ended up being the muskrats that lived in the pond down on the farm on County Road 15 in the Tri County area.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately they were well armed and had schwarenegger on speed dial.
Phietadix
Auror
Unfortunately, Schwarenegger was still spending his immortal life educating people on how to stay safe from the plaque, and thus didn't have time for Barbie's war of the rings
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, GI Joe was available and he always had a thing for Barbie.
Gospodin
Troubadour
Wild Card - Barbie and her minion Ken are a package deal, Joe. It's all or nothing.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, Joe came prepared.
Unfortunately Barbie had evolved into a being beyond our mere mortal understanding and she suffocated Joe in an eldritch ooze of pure pink. What is pure pink? You don't want to know.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, GI Joe brought friends.
Unfortunately this gathering of what appear to be hobbits was taken to Isengard. Could be a mistake on Barbie's pink orc army's part
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, they had friends.
Unfortunately the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of barbie.
pmmg
Myth Weaver
Fortunately, one of the friends is barbie.