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How would you describe this eating motion

Discussion in 'Writing Discussions' started by Garren Jacobsen, Jun 12, 2018.



  1. And yes, it's important. A big armored worm eats a monster like this. And can you do it in a single sentence? (NOTE: I won't be using this. Just want to see how you would describe it and how you see it so I can write my own sentence.)
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  2. Ankari

    Ankari Hero Breaker Moderator

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    Its jaw protruded, distended and engulfed a prey too large for anything less horrific

    Does that work?
     
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  3. Taniwha

    Taniwha Scribe

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    As its mouth opened, the razor toothed jaws protruded and latched on to it's prey
     
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  4. NOM!

    lol

    Something like: Its mouth distended, jaws lunging outward to latch onto its prey
     
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  5. CupofJoe

    CupofJoe Myth Weaver

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    I'm trying to avoid the words Xenomorph or disarticulation and failing...
     
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  6. pmmg

    pmmg Auror

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    Well, the descriptions above both avoid Xenomorph and disarticulation...i'll give it a shot...

    Its mouth opened, teeth, row upon row of them, jutting up like razors on needles. Its prey drew back, but then the whole mouth, like it was a thing detached, raced forward and engulfed the helpless prey. An instant of teeth rushing forward, and then nothing but a worm looking for its next prey.


    Maybe you could call it like a Phronima Parasite, that is the creature the xenomorph is based on.
     
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  7. Aggee

    Aggee New Member

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    Silence emerged as the shark glided across the deep vault, his ship-sized body sailing proudly. All power, all cunning. King of the Sea. This silence was soon interrupted as the shark propelled his weight forward and gouged those fangs into the fish’ limbs.

    Is this any help? :)
     
  8. ShadeZ

    ShadeZ Sage

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    Not one sentence but maybe something like.
    It's mouth lunged at the prey, detaching and extending somehow like a cat's claws. It's many needle-like teeth hooked into its prey tearing open blood vessels causing severe blood loss.
     
  9. S J Lee

    S J Lee Troubadour

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    Just when XXX thought he understood just how ugly the predator was, the jaws the hooked teeth were set in seemed to break free of the skull that held them, whether in impatience or as a result of exorcism by some disgusted unseen spirit, or as a result of some universal rule that limited how long so much ugliness could be concentrated in one place, he could not say; but the rows of saw-like barbs reached their maximum extension like a battering ram swung forward on chains from its harness, and with even more aggression.

    Technically one sentence?
     
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  10. A. E. Lowan

    A. E. Lowan Forum Mom Leadership

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    If I were writing this, I would use something like, "The shark pinioned the worm on its broken bottle teeth and worried at the wound until a chunk of flesh ripped away. Blood bloomed in the water, obscuring vision."
     
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