Is this MC too dark for a YA urban fantasy?

[AndrewLowe]

I've had this YA piece bouncing around in my head for a little while. Vaguely, the MC is a 17 to 20 year old girl (over the course of the novel). I already know that the novel is going to be dangerously close to the edge for YA... Really the main difference for my more traditional work is that I plan to tone down the violent, profane, and sexual elements. Still, I'm uncertain as to whether or not the MC is too dark for a YA novel.

The girl is a depressed bulimic orphan who was emancipated from her foster family at the beginning of the novel. She's pretty much an outsider through the course of the story, knowing that somehow she it something less than human (unbeknownst to her, she is only half human)... The opening scene involves her sitting in a bakery where she goes into the bathroom and begins vomiting. When the MC walks out, the barista comes and asks her to leave, at which point the MC makes up a story about how the doctors told her that she was being pulled out remission 3 days prior and how she had just restarted chemotherapy. The barista responds that it's not her job to take care of sick people. The MC threatens to sue her for her violation of the American's With Disabilities Act and then walks away, considers suicide, and then decides to go and get high... At which point a gypsy comes and says some mystical stuff to her?

Is this too dark for YA? Please be direct if it is... I really don't read much YA, but some of the books that I have read do include pretty dark themes. Considering that my MC eventually walks down a path of redemption, I think I might be able to get away with more than otherwise...

 

[Heliotrope]

I think it could be ok if handled in a certain way. I suggest you check out a book called "the barcode tattoo" which is a ya novel about government tracking and starts off with a fairly grisly suicide of a teenage girls father. The themes are deep but not gratuitous.

 

[AndrewLowe]

I think it could be ok if handled in a certain way. I suggest you check out a book called "the barcode tattoo" which is a ya novel about government tracking and starts off with a fairly grisly suicide of a teenage girls father. The themes are deep but not gratuitous.

Thank you I'll check it out!

 

[WooHooMan]

If I looked at the back of a book and saw that the main character was a depressed, bulimic young adult girl, that would honestly turn me off of the book.

Also, I would probably not have a lot of sympathy for a character who vomits in a public restroom, bitches at someone trying to do their job, lies about having a serious illness, threatens to sue an establishment that didn't do anything, considers suicide and then decides to do drugs all over the course of one scene.
That's how you're introducing the character.

Generally, for a main character, you want to start with their best foot forward. Even if they're supposed to be despicable, you want to start of by showing them being more pathetic or "cornered" so their awful behavior is more like an inappropriate reaction to their not-so-great life. In the case of your character, she just comes across as excessively awful in her behavior.

At which point a gypsy comes and says some mystical stuff to her

This really bothers me.
Gypsy - or more properly, Romani - is an ethnic group. Specifically, eastern European nomads who are primarily Christian or Muslim. There is nothing inherently mystic about them.

 

[AndrewLowe]

If I looked at the back of a book and saw that the main character was a depressed, bulimic young adult girl, that would honestly turn me off of the book.

Also, I would probably not have a lot of sympathy for a character who vomits in a public restroom, bitches at someone trying to do their job, lies about having a serious illness, threatens to sue an establishment that didn't do anything, considers suicide and then decides to do drugs all over the course of one scene.
That's how you're introducing the character.

I'm trying to make an unsympathetic character. Thank you though that is actually quite helpful... Especially the whole gypsy bit.

This is all good to take into consideration. I don't really have sympathy for my character as she is currently written... And I think that you're probably right. Even though I'm trying to make an unlikable character, it may be better to introduce her differently...

I wasn't trying to be offensive with the gypsy bit, so thanks for calling me out on that. I'm going to back and edit that out of the post. I never actually referred to her as a "gypsy" in my manuscript, and I think it sends the wrong message to use that term on here. Still, I welcome the hard advice/truth.

 

[AndrewLowe]

I can't edit the post... Anyhow, I apologize for that.

 

[WooHooMan]

I wasn't trying to be offensive with the gypsy bit, so thanks for calling me out on that. I'm going to back and edit that out of the post. I never actually referred to her as a "gypsy" in my manuscript, and I think it sends the wrong message to use that term on here. Still, I welcome the hard advice/truth.

It's all good. "Gypsy" is honestly, quite possibly the most widely accepted racial slur there is. It's easy to make that error and I knew immediately that you didn't mean any offense.

And as far as the introduction goes, it's not that the idea is bad, it's that how it's done is excessive.
The girl eats at a restaurant. The idea that there's food in her stomach is stressing her out. She goes to the bathroom to purge but the staff tells her to leave. She goes without any fuss (assuming she finished eating, there's no benefit to arguing) and contemplates getting high.
That would be fine. That's not excessive. I could empathize with that.

 

[AndrewLowe]

So just end it happily?

 

[Deleted member 4265]

Not so much happily as neatly. I don't read a lot of YA, but in my experience it tends to shy away from ambiguous endings.

 

[Heliotrope]

Yeah, usually in YA themes like that need to be addressed in a fairly obvious way... Not just included to make a character dark... So if you are going to have a character who suffers from bulimia (and note my word choice here... These issues need to be dealt with tact. Bulimia is a very dangerous, life threatening illness that many people suffer from. Bulimia is highly debilitating and should be taken very seriously. It is actually very offensive to say that someone is bulimic, or to say a bulimic girl. This sort of language implies that all the person is is their disease. Instead, it is more appropriate to say that a person suffers from bulimia, as this implies that a fully rounded person, with many interests, loves and passions suffers from their disease but is not defined by it.)

In a YA novel, this distinction needs to be paramount. She is NOT a bulimic girl. instead, she is a girl who suffers from bulimia, and her journey and recovery and life lessons will need to play a significant role over the course of the novel. Showing Belima in a light that makes it seem cool, or underplaying it will not go over well with publishers of YA. The last thing they want to do is encourage eating disorders in their readers. It is a topic that needs to be treated seriously and with tact.

Adult fiction can get away with using themes like eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, etc and not dealing with them directly, but in YA these issues need to be dealt with intentionally and wrapped up in a realistic way that does not celebrate the lifestyle... Does that make sense?

 

[AndrewLowe]

Yeah, usually in YA themes like that need to be addressed in a fairly obvious way... Not just included to make a character dark... So if you are going to have a character who suffers from bulimia (and note my word choice here... These issues need to be dealt with tact. Bulimia is a very dangerous, life threatening illness that many people suffer from. Bulimia is highly debilitating and should be taken very seriously. It is actually very offensive to say that someone is bulimic, or to say a bulimic girl. This sort of language implies that all the person is is their disease. Instead, it is more appropriate to say that a person suffers from bulimia, as this implies that a fully rounded person, with many interests, loves and passions suffers from their disease but is not defined by it.)

In a YA novel, this distinction needs to be paramount. She is NOT a bulimic girl. instead, she is a girl who suffers from bulimia, and her journey and recovery and life lessons will need to play a significant role over the course of the novel. Showing Belima in a light that makes it seem cool, or underplaying it will not go over well with publishers of YA. The last thing they want to do is encourage eating disorders in their readers. It is a topic that needs to be treated seriously and with tact.

Adult fiction can get away with using themes like eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, etc and not dealing with them directly, but in YA these issues need to be dealt with intentionally and wrapped up in a realistic way that does not celebrate the lifestyle... Does that make sense?

Thank you, that cleared it up a bit.

 

[Deleted member 4265]

In a YA novel, this distinction needs to be paramount. She is NOT a bulimic girl. instead, she is a girl who suffers from bulimia, and her journey and recovery and life lessons will need to play a significant role over the course of the novel. Showing Belima in a light that makes it seem cool, or underplaying it will not go over well with publishers of YA. The last thing they want to do is encourage eating disorders in their readers. It is a topic that needs to be treated seriously and with tact.

Adult fiction can get away with using themes like eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, etc and not dealing with them directly, but in YA these issues need to be dealt with intentionally and wrapped up in a realistic way that does not celebrate the lifestyle... Does that make sense?

This is what I was trying say, but I'm not always the most articulate.

 

[Steerpike]

The subject matter isn't too dark. If you read a lot of YA, you'll quickly see that no subject matter is off limits these days. your approach to the subject matter may change, as noted above, but that doesn't mean you really have to tone it down much if at all.

Also, no matter what market or genre you're writing to, I think it is a good idea to read in that particular area to get an idea of what is going on in that space. If you're writing YA, it would probably prove helpful to read a number of different YA novels.

 

[HellionHeloise]

The subject matter isn't too dark. Many YA books cover extremely horrifying topics like The Hunger Games. But, I definitely agree with Heliotrope that you need to walk a careful line with this MC.

When there are young men and women reading about an MC who suffers from bulimia it is imperative the experience is portrayed realistically, which means you need to answer certain questions in your writing. What are the psychological roots of the illness? How does it enhance the storyline?

I think the fact that the MC is unsympathetic is interesting, but it's important that her bulimia doesn't come across as some character flaw because that implies it's her fault she has bulimia. The illness should be portrayed as a product of her environment/past. Use it to help readers understand her better, don't use it as evidence of why readers should dislike the MC.
I'm not saying you're doing that, I'm just saying it could easily be viewed as such.

Overall, I think dark aspects to a character make for a more compelling narrative, so good luck with the WIP!

 

[Miskatonic]

Dare to be different, write adult fantasy.