Let's talk about tension.

[skip.knox]

Excellent discussions here, not least because the tone is positive. I have a couple of morsels to bring to the feast.

One, I like the word suspense over tension. I like it because the aim is to suspend the reader, which fits nicely with the colloquialism to leave them hanging. That leaves open whether the suspense is exciting or terrifying or sad or joyful. Tension does not need to have negative connotations, but at least in English it does, and that tends to color discussions of tension in story. Anyway, just my personal morsel. The thread title is tension and so we'll use that.

Two, I would add another element to the consideration of tension. As the author, I have to make the reader care. I know, obvious--but I'd argue it's important enough to be obvious. If some part of the story isn't working, perhaps it's because we did not make the reader sufficiently invested in the character generally and specifically the character in that moment. If I don't care about the character and his plight, I'm not going to care much about whatever tension is presented.

Three (three is a couple, right?), I'll offer up a variation on "make it worse." How about "make it different?" This is relevant to fantasy writing and especially to epic fantasy and its close kin. Part of why the reader is there--and, no doubt, why the author wrote--is the expectation of a sense of wonder. Showing marvels as mere decoration is no good, of course, but many such works have passages where the unusual is followed by the marvelous. By revealing ever-greater wonders, the author pulls the reader further into the story. The reader may not wonder what's next, but she may very well look forward to finding out. And so turn the page, and tell her friends about the marvels she saw.

 

[Heliotrope]

One, I like the word suspense over tension. I like it because the aim is to suspend the reader, which fits nicely with the colloquialism to leave them hanging.

Wow. Yes, I like that better too.

Dem always uses the imagery of "spinning plates", which I think fits this nicely. He talks about how all the questions and expectations you raise in the reader's minds are like throwing spinning plates in the air, like these guys:

As a reader, all these questions and expectations (spinning plates) are suspended in your brain, causing suspense in you. Are they going to crash? Will he catch them?

 

[pmmg]

Okay, okay.... he sees a yellow duck looking at him.

But wait... it gets better. The next line is Yellow duck, Yellow duck, what do you see?

I hope he sees the bear...

I like the example of the spinning plates. I sometimes use the example of spinning tops, but that is essentially the same. I think that is a good way to develop tension and add to it. I don't need explosions, I need things that are set in motion and the complexity keep adding and I am still watching to see what happens even to the first plate, as all the other ones are still spinning.

 

[Nimue]

Nimue, would you be willing to let someone take a look at your outline? Or can you share what your main character's story conflict is? You might just not know what it is yet (and it's probably there already).

Unfortunately my outline is this long summary thing that makes a lot of references to what’s in my head/notes/first draft and is also pretty dumb in places, so I don’t think it’d be good for anyone’s eyes. I don’t really have a pithy conflict outline—maybe I should, I don’t know. The primary point of this longer outline was to set up scenes so I could write them, because I have trouble going directly from nebulous idea to draft.

I’d share the main story conflict, but I’m not sure what you mean by that. Like the longline, fantasy trappings and all? Or the main character’s arc/driving motivations?

Many scenes contain tension in a book. Some don't. These are what I call respite scenes, allowing the reader a chance to breathe and marinate on what came before. It's important to know when readers need these breaks. A story with constant tension and explosive drama will only irritate and wear out readers. They need a chance to breathe, too.

Agreed. I don’t think this is paid enough lip service, from my perspective. Makes me worry about every scene I have that isn’t jam-packed with tension.

So, this is just a detailed example of how I do it. I use the characters, their relationships with one another, their desires goals and fears, use it all to fuel me to the end. If I used "make it worse"...how the heck would all this have happened? I would have tried adding in a bunch of things that didn't make sense with the characters and plot. To me, "make it worse" is external things happening to the characters. Conflict and tension (to me) means the problems must be caused from what the characters do, say and feel. The fuck ups need to be caused by their internal struggles. How humans act. Saying "make it worse", imo, does not allow for a human to intuitively write a story about other humans in their human nature struggles.

That’s also what baffles me, is the idea of “more conflict” divorced from the specific story, the specific characters. Just more conflict in general, for everything. I understand there’s a lot out there that says new writers make their stories too slow, easy, unengaging, whatever. But we all know there’s more to fixing that than putting the MC in a shittier situation that gets worse by the minute. There must be a balance. This is probably a result of having discussions that aren’t rooted in someone’s actual work. What can you do...


These are really detailed responses, thank you... I’ll reply more later, I hate quoting posts on my phone and I’m pretty sure my answers get more incoherent at the touchscreen keyboard...​

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

I view tension as uncertainty. Unanswered questions. If conflict arises but is resolved in the same scene so that it leaves no unanswered questions, it doesn't raise the level of tension in the story.

For me, "making it worse" equates to "raise more doubts that can't be easily resolved." I'm referring to doubts in the reader's mind, not necessarily the character's. In my multiple-POV story, some of my POV characters are in situations they don't recognize as troublesome, but other POV characters know differently, and so the reader learns of the truth this way. This creates uncertainty in the reader's mind concerning whether the first POV will discover the truth in time for her to deal with it, or how well she can deal with it once she becomes aware of it.

Pictorially, I like the concept of a rope that the character is hanging onto. The rope consists of numerous intertwined threads. As tension increases, some of these threads snap. Maybe a thread will be repaired at some point, helping to bring some degree of respite, though even then many threads might still need repair before the rope is restored to a secure state. An unanswered question causes a thread to snap. When the question is answered, if it helps the character's situation, then the thread is repaired. But answering the question might not repair the thread, and maybe now the character knows the thread will never be repaired. This knowledge might even lead to more unanswered questions, snapping more threads.

 

[Heliotrope]

For me, "making it worse" equates to "raise more doubts that can't be easily resolved." I'm referring to doubts in the reader's mind, not necessarily the character's. In my multiple-POV story, some of my POV characters are in situations they don't recognize as troublesome, but other POV characters know differently, and so the reader learns of the truth this way. This creates uncertainty in the reader's mind concerning whether the first POV will discover the truth in time for her to deal with it, or how well she can deal with it once she becomes aware of it.

Totally. This is how you can have a scene that is a respite scene, but actually, the tension is still lurking there under the surface. It may feel like a "break" for the reader or the character, but the overall conflict has not yet been solved, so therefor, tension is still there.

 

[Chessie2]

Totally. This is how you can have a scene that is a respite scene, but actually, the tension is still lurking there under the surface. It may feel like a "break" for the reader or the character, but the overall conflict has not yet been solved, so therefor, tension is still there.

Not at all. They are not the same things, not meant to have the same effect. If it's set up right, your respite scenes should already have tension built up from the last one; the idea being the reader is still mulling over what they learned in the scene before while learning something new in the new scene without the heightened or obvious tension.

EDIT to add: what I'm saying is respite scenes do not introduce new tension.

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

Totally. This is how you can have a scene that is a respite scene, but actually, the tension is still lurking there under the surface. It may feel like a "break" for the reader or the character, but the overall conflict has not yet been solved, so therefor, tension is still there.

I'm in the editing phase on my WIP, and I just finished editing a scene in which a group of characters think they have successfully escaped from the big bad, and they're now taking it easy. But from the POV of another character who isn't with them, the reader knows they aren't as safe as they believe. I love how the multiple-POV nature of the story is allowing me to create this kind of tension.

 

[Heliotrope]

Not at all. They are not the same things, not meant to have the same effect. If it's set up right, your respite scenes should already have tension built up from the last one; the idea being the reader is still mulling over what they learned in the scene before while learning something new in the new scene without the heightened or obvious tension.

What Mike and I are saying though, is so long as there are unanswered questions there is tension (or suspense). So even if there are no new questions raised in a scene, any unanswered, old questions (like, will the guy and girl ever get together?) are still lingering under the surface. That "will the guy and girl ever get together?" plate is still spinning in the air.

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

If it's set up right, your respite scenes should already have tension built up from the last one; the idea being the reader is still mulling over what they learned in the scene before while learning something new in the new scene without heightened tension.

In my case, the group of characters are at ease. They are taking it easy, believing they have dealt with the situation and the story is all but over. All they have to do is wait out the storm. But the reader knows the storm is on their doorstep because of the other POV. I think this is similar to what you're saying, so maybe we are on the same page?

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

what I'm saying is respite scenes do not introduce new tension

Sorry, I wasn't trying to say that, and maybe Helio wasn't either. The respite scenes I'm talking about don't introduce new tension. The tension is either already there from the knowledge gained from a prior scene, as you said, or it comes in a later scene, when the reader learns from another POV (and hence another scene, the way I write my multi-POV scenes) that maybe the characters in the respite scene should have been more worried than they were. I don't think this contradicts what you're saying.

 

[Heliotrope]

Sorry, I wasn't trying to say that, and maybe Helio wasn't either. The respite scenes I'm talking about don't introduce new tension. The tension is either already there from the knowledge gained from a prior scene, as you said, or it comes in a later scene, when the reader learns from another POV (and hence another scene, the way I write my multi-POV scenes) that maybe the characters in the respite scene should have been more worried than they were. I don't think this contradicts what you're saying.

Yep. This is what I was saying too. They don't introduce new tension. They don't have to, because underlying tension from previous scenes may still be there.

 

[Svrtnsse]

I think a lot of the time when we start out we think about the cool factor, or the big set pieces.

Indeed. This is why I shied away from the concept of tensions. I was not comfortable laying it on big and impressive and I just felt like I was faking it when I tried.

Many scenes contain tension in a book. Some don't. These are what I call respite scenes, allowing the reader a chance to breathe and marinate on what came before.

I like this. I think it's important.

Also, it's not just about letting the reader breathe, it's about them getting to know the characters in their "normal" state, when they're not under pressure due to things going wrong in one way or another. This in turn gives us the opportunity to increase tension in more and subtler ways later on.
The better we know a character, the easier it is for us to understand the significance of what's happening to them. If we only know the stressed out conflict-haunted version of a character then we might lose sight of who they really are under normal circumstances.

I'll try and tie this back to kishotenketsu like I mentioned in the structure thread. In the first act the characters and the setting is introduced, and it's pretty straight forward. In the second act however, rather than escalating the conflict of the story we develop our knowledge of the characters and the world.
This means that once the complication occurs in the third act we have a better understanding of the implications of it, and there's a tension created through that rather than through a conflict escalating. Then there's the fourth act in which the world in the first two acts is reconciled with the complication in the third act, but that's a different matter.

The point I want to try and make is that if you give the reader time to get to know the characters better, then you've got more opportunities to create tension in different ways later on. Kind of like in the example with the room-mate showing up with a new partner while the main characters is unhappily single.

Three (three is a couple, right?),

It took me years to realise that a couple is just a word for two. The corresponding word in Swedish means anything from two to about a handful or so.

 

[Nimue]

So how could you make it worse when you don't even know what it is about yet? Don't.

Don't worry about it. Forget about it. Disregard this entire thread.

Do a draft.

Do two drafts.

As you start to compost all that material you wrote down to your little nugget of a theme you will know what needs to be heightened, and what needs to be taken out. You will know where to illuminate a moment and "make it worse", and where you maybe need to give the reader a breather.

But until you are finished your draft, seriously, don't think about it.

Yeah. Yeah, I know… I’ve had huge problems jumping into drafting with nothing but my hopes and daydreams, and as a result I’m probably going overboard with plotting and troubleshooting this time. To be honest I’m dreading getting stuck and failing to finish a draft again. ...So I’m getting myself stuck before the draft is really underway, apparently.

For me, theme does move plot forward. It is my character's decisions and emotions and choices that move the plot forward. Plot is not the world happening to her, plot is the world happening because of her. All the plot moments happen because she is faced with new obstacles, and makes new choices, based on what she feels is the right thing to do. This causes her to have to confront new obstacles, which forces her to have to make new choices. It keeps going and going until she is forced to figure out, "Oh, the way I have be doing things isn't working." And then she changes. She sees the world a new way. Eureka! Climax and Success. She is a new person. The theme is complete.

Right...that’s all about character, not theme, to me. Themes can be identified in a character’s struggle and arc, but you can’t reduce a character or a story to a single theme and use that to make all of your decisions... Idk, maybe we’re using terms differently.

To me, I can see a lot of themes in my story, some more important than others: Self-sacrifice, isolation, duty, freedom, embracing one’s power... They tie into different character arcs and subplots, but no single theme drives the entire story. Maybe that means I’ve designed it badly, I really don’t know. If you were to ask me what the story is about, I wouldn’t name a theme, I’d say it’s about two lonely, beset people finding hope in each other and fighting for it until the bitter end. You can see sacrifice, isolation in that sure, but it’s more of a story, not a thematic idea...

This is great. So you have a nugget of a theme. It may be underdeveloped and sort of abstract in your brain right now, but that is okay. So she is withdrawn and isolated. Awesome. No, you don't have to make it crazy intense. And no, having other character's shun her and threaten her is not necessary. I love how you have other character's reach out to her. That is lovely.

But, but I'm all about theme, I would have her make a choice.

Trust them, or not?

Because the theme is about isolation vs. trusting others, I would make her choose not to trust them. She isn't ready yet. So she refuses, or she is skeptical of them.

The repercussion of this choice lead to ---- next plot point.

She is faced, again, with a choice. Trust, or not?

Nope. Still not ready. Still going to go off on her own and do it her own way.

Crap. Now facing repercussions of that choice. Dang. Why is nothing ever working out for me?

New choice. Trust, or not?

Hmmmmmm..... well, not trusting hasn't worked out so good for me. Maybe I will allow someone to help me. Just this once.

Result of that choice is.... positive. Oh. This is maybe a good thing! Maybe I like people!

Ooops, nope. That person sucked. They were just using me. I hate people after all.

Now I'm in a pretty bad situation and I have no friends. Hmmmmm. What to do?

New choice.....

Etc.... until finally, by the end, she had found true friends.....

So in that way, Plot = theme.

So...sort of? But it’s just not that clean, that pat. Uh, how I have it currently… The subplot with her friend/the village is a gentler one that resolves around the midpoint, so though there is tension between them at first, she does begin with trusting them, if not opening up. So when they need her help, she’s willing to leave safety to do so--but this leads the thane’s men to her. The hero she absolutely does not trust, and feels forced to cooperate with him. He tempts her with the chance of freedom from being hunted. But after he shows her kindness and good intentions, she willingly chooses to help him further, going with him to the thane’s castle--where bam, she’s captured and imprisoned. But the hero frees her. So it’s not as plain as choosing isolation=bad outcome, opening up=good outcome, but the end result of that first act is that though the worst happened, other people reached out and saved her, and her world has opened up and she’ll choose to engage deeper in it… I have a tough time completely reconciling her isolation/openness arc because it turns out nearly tragic--she continues to make the wrong choice in a crucial way up until the very end: keeping secrets, believing that she can fix everything alone. I think it still works because the progress she made in building relationships with those around her is what saves her, even if she’s still stubbornly choosing to go it alone and sees the error of her ways only in the denouement…

It’s all complicated by other dynamics and circumstances and things. Sometimes I feel like I could be creating stories with nice clean structure built on straightforward character arcs and clear theme, but instead I’m over here chewing on my crayons and going on about how I just want my heroine to be locked in a tower and turning into a fuckin’ raven and at the end there’s gonna be a dramatic sacrifice in a stone circle at midwinter with snow blowing everywhere. The really important things. So now I have to try and find structure and theme in that mess, and it feels so artificial, that I’m clutching the scenes I like and justifying them with that or another stretch and does anything really work?

Oh my godddd I need to stop ruminating over this and just deal. Is this even remotely on-topic anymore?

 

[Caged Maiden]

Hey guys, nice thread!

I wanted to say one little thing about a "make it worse" moment that happened for me. I hope it helps Nimue maybe isolate some story elements in the same way?

I had a young soldier who was supposed to discover there were undead creatures up north, and then his story was him defeating them.

The first draft, he went into a tavern and some people were talking about how terrible these things were, and he eavesdropped and eventually went in search of them. BORING! It was terrible. Eavesdropping at a random table on a completely unrelated journey? It had no tension, no purpose other than feeding him and the reader the information.

I thought it would be better (made worse) if he stepped in to help these poor travelers and then they told him how thankful they were and that they were fleeing a town plagued by undead. Okay, better, but I didn't feel that really made the story better, even if it was possibly more believable.

I skipped on to another idea.

Instead of overhearing travelers at dinner, or even offering to buy the poor folks a meal (being a charitable priest's son), I decided if he was really a priest's son, he'd want to put his religious talisman to good use. He now begs for a room in the local temple, where he'll eat and sleep free of charge. Right before supper is served, a group of poor travelers burst into the temple and one woman is nearly dead, her extremities necrotic and her companions in desperate need of clerical healing, which my MC just happens to be able to help the priest with.

I isn't better because I included danger or death, it's better because I turned the character's situation into one where he's more active, there is something at stake, rather than him deciding to go north on a whim, and the scene is more powerfully linked to his main internal arc--what kind of man is he becoming, a soldier like his father, or a priest like his mother?

By making the scene more dramatic and less D&D in my living room feeling, the story is better. I didn't have to make the woman's necrosis spread to my MC and have his hands fall off. That would defeat the point of the scene and it wouldn't make this story better. Also, if this woman died in a really gross way, it doesn't fit with that particular story. It was more important he show that he is a potentially very capable priest...because that's his main journey.

Hope that helps. I'm a big supporter of making things worse, but it only works if you feel connected to the underlying point of WHY we should do it.

I've read and critted a lot for many writers (both published and aspiring), and one thing that's very common in manuscripts is that things happen to characters, but readers don't really care or feel connected. To feel connected to a character, we need to see their vulnerabilities, their flaws, their inner workings, their secret hopes. And the best way to make sure that a reader notices those things is to turn the logical plot situations into little mirrors that will echo over and over their inner struggle. BECAUSE...odds are a reader will only really see one out of four of those. So, in this young man's story I mentioned above, I not only have the people around him commenting on what kind of priest/ soldier he is, I have his situations reflecting it too, making him think about it. If all I had was his mother saying over and over what he should do with his life...you know...blech.

 

[Heliotrope]

I didn't have to make the woman's necrosis spread to my MC and have his hands fall off.

Lol'd so hard at this.

 

[skip.knox]

>It took me years to realise that a couple is just a word for two. The corresponding word in Swedish means anything from two to about a handful or so.

Which creates interesting possibilities with the English phrase "a married couple." ;-)

 

[Nimue]

CM, I hear you... I wonder if a better phrase than "make it worse" is "challenge the character". To, as you say, illuminate their flaws/goals/arc rather than add an external threat. A challenge isn't necessarily the worst thing that could happen in a given moment, but it is personal. CM's priest character needing to heal a dying woman, Helio's father character's party as a thwart to the daughter's righteous anger, Chess's ex-boyfriend character piquing her MC's pride and loneliness... Maybe that's not much different from the actual intent of the phrase "make it worse", but for some reason that change in wording is easier for me to parse. I need to think about this stuff...

 

[Devor]

I haven't read through the thread yet, but I thought that I would start by commenting on the OP and getting my thoughts together before I see how the conversation has been going.

A few years back there was a certain philosophy on this site that tension = car chases and fight scenes. The more of these. you had, the more the reader would be turning pages. This is absolutely not true. That is not what tension is. I have no clue where that idea came from... probably film, but in fiction it is not what tension means.

I have no memory of this. I remember Michael Sullivan starting a thread on how a book should open - and in his sample it was a kind of fight training scene - and nobody liked it. I'm not doubting you, but I don't remember the trend you're describing.

In fiction tension refers to that feeling you get as a reader when questions are raised in your mind.

What will happen next?
How will she get out of this one?
When she find out the truth?
Will she ever get her boyfriend back?

Those questions are what makes reader's keep turning pages. If they are connected enough (care enough) about the character and the plight of the character, you can have basically NOTHING HAPPENING and they will still be riveted. That is because tension runs under the surface. Tension is that bubbling pot of questions in the reader's mind.

Right now, I view tension as.... how do I put this. In the anime Magi, there's a magical substance called the rhuhk. And the rhuhk, when given the right command by a magician, becomes an element, like fire or water.

To me, the word tension gets unfortunately used in both ways. It's the rhuhk beneath, and it's the element, "tension," that we're trying to summon in many forms of writing.

Since I've been writing the Ladybug fanfiction, which is romance, I feel like nodding and going, "Yep, yep, tension, only in romance we call it something-or-other and it's just a little different." Yearning, perhaps.

So my initial thoughts are that I agree with the underlying principles, but I'm not sure that jargon here has been developed well enough to do those principles justice.

 

[Hallen]

The word I have always used for this is conflict.
No, conflict does not mean war. It does not mean fighting, necessarily.
It means that a character is having to deal with something that is opposing their goals.
If your goal for your character is learning to read, the conflict will be the derision of others who can already read and finding time to do it when not working in the mines. It's a simple conflict. It causes tension. It raises the stakes.

There is also suspense. A situation that begs the question. That question can be anything. What is it that the magic talisman does? Will it make the character all-powerful? Will it destroy the world? Will it make pink calico cats? This part isn't really conflict. There will be conflict in finding out, but the what it is part is not really conflict. Part of the thing I love about the Stormlight Archive is because the characters are constantly discovering more about the magic system and their world all the time. It's not like you get it all at once and then there's no new cool stuff. It bets the question of what is next.

There are some very old techniques for managing the conflicts through the story.

Often, you will have you character solve the problem. Then two possible things happen.
The problem is solved and things get better. But this is really boring unless it's your happily ever after ending.
The problem is solved, and things get worse. This is a great way to go. Hero saves friends, but gives up something to the bad guy to do it and that makes things much worse. Now, this new problem has to be solved.
Or, the character fails to solve the problem. Same thing; it could make things better, but will probably make things worse.

Anyway, conflict drives tension.