Let's talk about tension.

[Svrtnsse]

Maybe that's not much different from the actual intent of the phrase "make it worse", but for some reason that change in wording is easier for me to parse.

Words are important like that. The same advice can be understood very differently when said with different words.

I'd been hearing about reader expectations for ages, but it wasn't until it was framed as making a promise to the reader, that it finally dawned on me how important it was to keep that promise. It can be really helpful to rething/rephrase the advice using different words/examples/expressions.

 

[Heliotrope]

"challenge the character"

I have trouble with the wording too. It is very vague. "Challenge the character" is nice. I also, in my mind think "Make it matter."

 

[Nimue]

I do think that prompt works better for me—“make it matter” is much alike because I think the inherent object of that is “make it matter to the character”. For the example I was using earlier, having an old friend find the heroine while she’s living a solitary life and grieving isn’t a bad thing to happen; it doesn’t harm her, and in fact greatly increases her well-being in the long run. But it is challenging to her. The friend was with her mother when she died, she’s asking for the heroine’s help, she’s bringing hopes and expectations and stirring up painful memories of the life the heroine has lost—even speaking to another person is challenging at that moment. So I do think there’s tension in that scene, even if things aren’t explicitly going downhill. This schema feels much easier to apply to my writing—instead of “always make it worse”, it’s “is this scene challenging the character?” Still have the hard work of figuring out what’s enough and what’s too little, but it’s a start.

 

[Heliotrope]

I have no memory of this. I remember Michael Sullivan starting a thread on how a book should open - and in his sample it was a kind of fight training scene - and nobody liked it. I'm not doubting you, but I don't remember the trend you're describing.

Ha! I remember that.

There was another member (I wont name names) whose infamous phrase went along the lines of "Turn disagreements into arguments, and arguments into fist fights!" (You don't remember that?)

Anytime anyone posted anything into into the showcase the common response (from this member) was.... there is no tension. An intro must start with a car chase, or a fight scene! Explosions! The more explosions you have the more readers will turn pages.

Again, PM me if you want names. I can probably point you to exact posts that were just plain terribad.

 

[Heliotrope]

So I do think there’s tension in that scene, even if things aren’t explicitly going downhill.

But remember, tension does NOT mean things are going downhill. Tension is simply a conflict. Any kind of conflict. Raising questions. I imagine there would be a ton of tension in that scene, because as a reader I would be wondering:

Oh, how is she going to take this? This must be so hard for her! Is she going to come out of isolation to help this woman?

There is actually so much reader tension in just the summary you described!

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

But remember, tension does NOT mean things are going downhill. Tension is simply a conflict. Any kind of conflict. Raising questions.

Yes. Furthering that idea, it’s important to remember that tension doesn’t always mean negative. Though that’s how we’re conditioned to view the word, tension can be a positive thing.

Another thought:
Change might also equal tension. Change can come with altering circumstances, or the introduction of new characters or settings.

 

[Heliotrope]

Change might also equal tension. Change can come with altering circumstances, or the introduction of new characters or settings.

I'm finding more and more that this is my go-to method. I'll be typing along, do-do-do-do-do... when I find even I'm getting "over" the scene. I'm like... ok, I'm yaddering on... better switch it up a bit...

But I'm using my third graders as a gauge for my "audience" and they have the attention span of a cat in a catnip castle.... so, about 15 words or less before something new has to happen. Lol.

 

[Steerpike]

Forgive me if I'm repeating anything said above.

It seems to me that tension is anything that causes certain emotional responses in a reader, whether its anticipation, anxiety, stark terror, or what have you. As such, it can come from any number of sources. As mentioned above--change. But not just any change, but a change that instills emotions such as those mentioned in the reader. A change might cause a reader anxiety for the character. It might cause the reader's mind to leap ahead in anticipation of something that is yet to come. These are examples of tension. Of course, easy examples like a fight to the death (anxiety, anticipation) or a race against the clock (again, anxiety, anticipation) represent tension, but instead of trying to define tension itself as something that is happening on the page, I think it is useful to define it as something happening inside the reader.

 

[Heliotrope]

I think it is useful to define it as something happening inside the reader.

So much! Yes! Exactly.

 

[Hallen]

Not at all. They are not the same things, not meant to have the same effect. If it's set up right, your respite scenes should already have tension built up from the last one; the idea being the reader is still mulling over what they learned in the scene before while learning something new in the new scene without the heightened or obvious tension.

EDIT to add: what I'm saying is respite scenes do not introduce new tension.

The classic structure we're talking about here is generally called scene and sequel. The scene is the part where the conflict happens. The sequel is the part where the characters absorb what just happened and react to it. Classically, that means what we generally call a "scene" a section of writing that has a coherent goal, generally has both the "scene" part and a "sequel" part. The "respite scenes" I think would be another name for this concept.

For example, your characters just finished exploring something and have found information that either creates conflict or changes the conflict, or heightens the conflict. They the generally will talk about it. Or think about it. They'll digest what happened and what it meant. They'll often come up with a plan for their next actions. Then they are at it again trying to resolve conflict. It might only be a few sentences, or it might be multiple pages. It just depends on what you want to accomplish.

A classic scene might be broken up into several "scene" and "sequel" sections. (I really don't like the terminology, but it is what it is. It's from the classic craft book, Scene & Structure by Jack Bickham).

It's a way of managing the tension. It gives the reader some relief, and time to digest and understand via the characters doing the same thing, and then diving off again to more adventure. It's important because it sets the pacing and provides a natural rhythm for your story telling. You can't have tension all the time or it stops feeling like tension. The sequel section provides that deep breath that's needed to reset the expectations and the tension.

And, it's really hard to master -- at least for me -- but I think we all naturally do it to an extent because it's a way to try and explain natural storytelling technique.

 

[Nimue]

But remember, tension does NOT mean things are going downhill. Tension is simply a conflict. Any kind of conflict. Raising questions. I imagine there would be a ton of tension in that scene, because as a reader I would be wondering:

Oh, how is she going to take this? This must be so hard for her! Is she going to come out of isolation to help this woman?

There is actually so much reader tension in just the summary you described!

Right, to return to the thread topic after railing against “make it worse” when nobody was actually pushing it.... How do you make sure a reader feels the tension in a scene?

So you have this setup of change or intra-character friction, something more subtle than imminent violence, there are plenty of implications...but how do you bring them to light, and make sure that tension continues past the end of a scene? I think this is closer to my actual problem here. Cue rambling about things I feel like maybe might help, based on identifying shit I don’t like out of my last draft:

- Less narrative distance. I’m writing in these mythic/fairytale inspirations and often just end up drawing images of the character and making the reader guess how they feel... Clearer feelings and stakes, more direct thought, maybe.

- Vary word/detail choice and style more? I’m afraid I tend towards ”pretty and thoughtful” (probably unsuccessfully) in my prose no matter what’s happening. So maybe I should use harsher words and resist the urge to paint in that bit of scenery while my POV character is on the verge of freaking out.

- Make sure opposition from other characters doesn’t just get handwaved away. This might be harder to explain so I’ll use that example again, but it boils down to ensuring that other characters act according to their own reasons even if that leans against the plot or their “role”. Like when that old friend finds the heroine a) her child is sick and she’s come up to visit a shrine by the witch’s cottage for that reason and b) she has every reason to believe the heroine disappeared to become a sorcerer’s apprentice of her own volition. In my first draft I had her come up, knock on her door, ask for help with her kid, and let her do whatever. There were gestures towards tension, but the friend wasn’t really acting like someone with genuine concerns. If the heroine just worries that people will shun her but everyone essentially treats her okay, there’s no tension in that.

I know this is wildly obvious, but I think I need to keep these ideas higher in my mind while I’m writing. Think I just figured out why I hated so many scenes in my first draft.... there’s an even more egregious example of this right before I gave up on that draft.

If anybody has any other advice or examples or links to resources about tension building, I’d appreciate it... No matter how common-sense, because I think I’m an idiot.

 

[Heliotrope]

Devor's going to hate this... because this is exactly what we are talking about in the Show/Tell thread, (lol)... but yeah, it sounds like showing issues to me.

So, when presenting the information to the reader, I feel it is important to show them a few images (scenes) side by side, and let them infer the emotions that would come from that. So the example I used for my WIP was that a special artifact that had deep significant emotional value to my MC was given away. So in order to create emotional impact in the reader I can't just say "This is important to her. Now it is gone. She is sad". I have to set up the scenes to make those emotions happen inside the reader.

So first, I would have a scene showing the importance of the thing to the MC. She is loving on it and taking care of it and the reader thinks "Oh, yes, I identify with that. I have a thing that is special to me to. I can relate to her wanting to take care of it."

Then I show a scene where she thinks she has lost it, she panics for a second, and then relief! The reader can identify with that as well. "Oh, yes, that would be terrible to lose that thing. I would hate to lose my precious thing that I have too."

Then I take the thing away for good. Grief. But now, instead of just telling the reader "The character is sad about this...." The reader can actually feel the sadness within themselves, because I have built up, over a few short moments, the reader's connection to the character and that artifact. They have already had a few opportunities to put themselves in her shoes. To relate to her. To make a connection to how they feel about their own special thing. So when I take it away, the reader can actually feel that grief as if they had lost their special thing.

Everyone gets hung up on word choice, or "show don't tell" on the sentence level. Creating deep emotional reader impact is not about word choice. It is about spoon feeding them little images they can connect to so that when put together, the images evoke emotion.

So for your example... I don't know the full context, obviously, so I'm not telling you what to do... but just for example... .to go with spoon feeding.

1) Show MC's grief for loss of mother.
2) Show how hard it is to face people connected to her mother.
3) Show how life is easier on her own, where she can be in isolation. Her home is her refuge. Show how hard it is to help people because she can't even help herself. She is a disaster.
4) Now show the friend of her mother's coming to her place of refuge. Her place of peace. This in itself feels like a violation. Go away! Get away from here! You can't be here! I can't handle this. But this person is desperate for help. Help the MC knows she can't provide.

Do you see what I mean? Am I making any sense at all?

 

[Svrtnsse]

I’m writing in these mythic/fairytale inspirations and often just end up drawing images of the character and making the reader guess how they feel...

I do this a lot.
When to do it and when not to do it is probably part of the Show vs Tell discussion, but I do use it a lot. I describe the physical reactions of the character and let the reader infer the emotions. I'm hoping that in this way the reader will get more of a feel for the character's personality and get to know them better.

So maybe I should use harsher words and resist the urge to paint in that bit of scenery while my POV character is on the verge of freaking out.

Yes. When the character's world is falling apart and they're freaking out about it, they're not going to spend a lot of time looking at the scenery (unless that's exactly what they're doing). When I'm in such a scene I try to keep the reader very close to the character and not distract them with things that aren't absolutely necessary.
Then, once the character gets a moment to breath, so can the reader.

Make sure opposition from other characters doesn’t just get handwaved away.[...]

I cut away the example here, but yes, what you're saying makes sense. If the friend really is concerned it ought to show in some way.

I'll try and think of some additional examples on the way home.

 

[Heliotrope]

Sometimes, when thinking about "theme" in my novel, I think of it like an essay. You know how with an essay, you have your thesis statement, but then you sort of break it into logical steps, so that by the conclusion you have formulated an entire argument?

So my "thesis" for my WIP is "Dreams are a lot like stars. They may seem out of reach. But without them we would be lost".

I have to spoon feed this thesis to my readers in steps.

1) Stars used to be used as navigation tools.
2) We navigate the choices in our lives based on the dreams we have for ourselves.
3) Sometimes, our dreams can seem really far away. Even impossible.
4) Sometimes, we may even lose sight of our dreams, the same way stars can be covered by clouds.
5) But even when we lose sight of things, it doesn't mean they are gone. We can still find them again.
6) And even when dreams seem impossibly far away, we can still use them to navigate our choices.
7) So therefore... "Dreams are a lot like stars....."

Each scene, or chapter in the WIP "shows" each step to the reader in a concrete way. I never explicitly "tell" them any of this. I show the little images so that by the end, the entire thing together makes a big picture idea that makes sense.

This is how I try to manipulate an emotional response, both on the larger scale of an entire novel, and in the small, scene by scene scale. Spoon feed little bits of info to hopefully create one dramatic emotion.

 

[Chessie2]

None of us can control how readers perceive things. Aiming to try is pointless.

 

[Steerpike]

None of us can control how readers perceive things. Aiming to try is pointless.

Seems to me the entirety of fiction is attempting to control reader perceptions to one degree or another. It doesn't mean all readers will come away with the view the author intended, or that there might not be multiple divergent views, but even if you're just telling a simple story what are you doing if not trying to control reader perceptions?

 

[Chessie2]

Seems to me the entirety of fiction is attempting to control reader perceptions to one degree or another. It doesn't mean all readers will come away with the view the author intended, or that there might not be multiple divergent views, but even if you're just telling a simple story what are you doing if not trying to control reader perceptions?

Manipulate them emotionally? Yes. But control assumes one has impacted readers in just the right way. That's impossible to do. You can't please everybody.

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

Seems to me the entirety of fiction is attempting to control reader perceptions to one degree or another. It doesn't mean all readers will come away with the view the author intended, or that there might not be multiple divergent views, but even if you're just telling a simple story what are you doing if not trying to control reader perceptions?

As a reader, let me just say, that if I think you as a writer are trying to manipulate me, I will put the book down.

 

[Steerpike]

As a reader, let me just say, that if I think you as a writer are trying to manipulate me, I will put the book down.

Manipulate isn’t my word, but it’s a form of control. But if you don’t think every book, movie, etc is trying to control your perceptions I’m not sure what to say about that, except that they all are.

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

Manipulate isn’t my word, but it’s a form of control. But if you don’t think every book, movie, etc is trying to control your perceptions I’m not sure what to say about that, except that they all are.

I want them to present both sides and let me make up my own mind. If it's one-sided and heavy-handed, the book goes down.