• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

Really Quick Question.

AliceBaine

Dreamer
Hey everyone. I was editing my little blurb for my book, and came across a small obstacle that's stumped me somehow, haha.

"Dryden's hands are covered in scars. He believes that's why he's being followed."

I'm not sure if "it's" would be a better alternative to "that's", or which one is grammatically correct. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
I'm not a grammarian like my wife, but I'd say that "it's" flows better and is more immediate, which you want in a blurb.
 
"Dryden's hands are covered in scars. He believes that's why he's being followed."

You could make it more fluid like this:

"When Dryden notices the sea of scars on his hands, he realizes that's why he is being followed."

And you can eliminate some of those "to be" verbs by writing it like this:

"When Dryden notices his hands plagued in scars, he understands how they pursued him."

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* Please remember to keep your tense consistent in your writing too! Otherwise, it will confuse readers. I love the name Dryden; good luck writing*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
"Dryden's hands are covered in scars. He believes that's why he's being followed."

You could make it more fluid like this:

"When Dryden notices the sea of scars on his hands, he realizes that's why he is being followed."

And you can eliminate some of those "to be" verbs by writing it like this:

"When Dryden notices his hands plagued in scars, he understands how they pursued him."

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* Please remember to keep your tense consistent in your writing too! Otherwise, it will confuse readers. I love the name Dryden; good luck writing*:・゚✧*:・゚✧

With blurbs you want to keep your wording short and punchy. You want the reader to get a little excited. But you also need to pay attention to the rhythm and flow - to vary sentence length - and indeed to make sure you maintain consistency in your tenses. So something like this...

Dryden's hands are covered in scars. It's why he's being followed.

And I also love the name Dryden. Most excellent.
 
With blurbs you want to keep your wording short and punchy. You want the reader to get a little excited. But you also need to pay attention to the rhythm and flow - to vary sentence length - and indeed to make sure you maintain consistency in your tenses. So something like this...

Dryden's hands are covered in scars. It's why he's being followed.

And I also love the name Dryden. Most excellent.

Ohhh, now I understand what the original poster meant. This is good. I misunderstood what a blurb was x.x
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
Ohhh, now I understand what the original poster meant. This is good. I misunderstood what a blurb was x.x
Yeah, 'blurb' is another word for back cover copy. It's also the word we use for the author/reviewer quotes that often appear on the front and back covers.
 

skip.knox

toujours gai, archie
Moderator
I like A. E. Lowan's suggestion, but it does change the meaning slightly. It removes "he believes" and that might be important. At least within the story. For the blurb, it's probably ok if it's not important whether it *is* why he's being followed or only that he believes it is.

Also, ever notice that quick questions nearly always require slow answers? <g>
 
Top