So You're Gonna Write That First Novel, Huh?

[FifthView]

I stumbled on this interesting TED talk by Amanda Crowell, a cognitive psychologist, on the topic of "3 reasons you aren't doing what you say you will do."

She's isolated three stages or three parts of what she calls "defensive failure" that might be holding you back from writing that first novel...or from doing anything you think you should be doing or want to be doing but just aren't. She gives strategies for overcoming those blocks.

Illuminating and accurate, I think.

Summary of the three blocks w/ approximate time stamps:

2:52 "You think, somewhere in your heart, that you can't do it." — A belief that some people "have the talent or the genetics" to do it, but that you don't. Initial failures, and repeated failures, reinforce this belief. But talent and genetics aren't what lead to success; effort does. Repeated effort. Working at it.

5:44 "People like you don't do things like this." — Your identity or image of yourself is holding you back. We have very strong resistance to changing ourselves and our lives because we habitually, even irrationally, protect an identity we've already formed of ourselves. Example: You don't self-promote because that seems arrogant and pushy, and you're not that kind of person, right? Maybe you're so busy, always gotta do X, Y, Z—you're a caregiver, right?—so you don't have time for that anyway. Etc. [Second example is my own.] Finding like-minded people, i.e. people "like you" but who are accomplishing things similar to what you want to accomplish, may help you adjust your identity and enable a belief that you, too, are the kind of person who does things like this.

10:22 "Secretly, you don't want to do it. You just think you should want to do it." — "Basically, you value it for the wrong reasons." There are intrinsic and extrinsic reasons for valuing something. If it's something inside you, like interest or curiosity, it is intrinsic. Also, if you've "drawn a bright line" from doing it to accomplishing a long term goal, that could be intrinsic. I'd add, enjoyment would be intrinsic. An extrinsic reason, conversely, would be something like "All the cool people do it" or "My mom would be proud." Secretly, if all you have are extrinsic reasons for doing something, then maybe you don't really want to do it, and this holds you back from doing it. The workaround is to discover, find, create intrinsic reasons for doing it.

 

[The Dark One]

Probably off-topic but that was never my problem. I always wanted to be a novelist and always knew that one day, I would be.

I could prefer now that I'd started earlier, but it was a different world. I was trying really hard to be a rock star in my late teens and early twenties and there was (pretty much) no such thing as a novelist under 30 - not in Oz at least. I remember saying that no-one would take me seriously if I tried to write a novel in my early 20s, but I wonder, looking back, if that was my way of procrastinating. I did try occasionally to get started but always ran out of ideas by about page 30.

I was keenly aware that I had never finished anything, so it was with some relief that I finished an Arts degree and then a Law degree by the time I was 30, and then I was ready to write. I believe it was my acquired scholarly discipline which equipped me to plan and execute a novel (which was terrible) and then the sheer process of writing novels that taught me the finer points and eventually got me published.

It took 15 years for a Yes and 18 years to see that first book on the shelves.

 

[Insolent Lad]

you're a caregiver, right?—so you don't have time for that anyway. Etc.

Becoming a caregiver for my father kind of led to writing my first novel. I was tied down, had a lot of open time when I needed to be around the house but without much to keep me busy. So I finally tackled a large scale work after a career of journalistic writing.

However, I also think I was not really ready until then. I can't imagine having written a novel in my twenties. Oh, maybe I can imagine it but I'd rather not. It would surely have been dreadful.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I took this picture off of my February page of my Sarah's Scribbles calendar, just to address the talent myth.



The muse won't come along and bite you on the butt, and talent is nice, but I don't think it really exists. I'm not saying everyone can do it, but those who can are the ones who persist.

 

[Alex Reiden]

"Secretly, you don't want to do it. You just think you should want to do it."

I'm going to guess this is the most common, and certainly for me. (Exercise) I've never let the first 2 stop me.

I'll also add a 4th: Straight up time constraints (muddled by either internal or external priorities). There are many things I'd like to to do and even make plans for, but the plain truth is, I just don't get to them because I want to, or have to, do other stuff more -- until I went on staycation and started doing all the things when I had more time. More money wouldn't hurt either for some activities.

 

[skip.knox]

I give credit to my academic training, specifically graduate school. For several years I had to produce several term papers every semester, and every time I had a professional who told me how well I had succeeded at what I'd said I would do. This taught me what it means to hit a deadline, how to take criticism at multiple levels, and how to improve based on the criticism. In addition, there was a thesis and then a dissertation, each of which is akin to writing a novel (you could consider the term papers akin to short stories).

In short, grad school in history taught me how to finish, and it taught me that I *could* finish, even on big projects. That helped enormously when I undertook my first serious novel (leaving aside earlier attempts which were closer to literary sketching or doodling), and it helped particularly when that first novel dragged on for three or four years and people around me were wondering if I knew how to finish. It was never in question.

 

[The Dark One]

Finishing was always in question for me, until I hit upon the planning formula - straight after finishing law school.

There was something else that compelled me to finish also. Having written 5 or 6 draft chapters (I didn't know it was just a draft in those days) I decided to start sending it out to publishers and agents. I got a few rejections, but then one day, the phone rang at work - it was an agent who was keen to read the rest. Boy, did that get me charged up! I remember the last two months as I generated the least three chapters - exhilarating - living in the story. And I thought I'd created a masterpiece.

She eventually passed - possibly because it was another two years before I finished and she'd moved on - possibly because it was just a first draft and very unrefined (by my current standards).

The reality is that most writers' first book will be dreadful. But the silver lining to that cloud is that NOTHING teaches you more about writing, than writing your first novel. Everything I've done since has been so much better.

 

[Prince of Spires]

For me the issue was not so much getting started or finishing. It was how to keep going after the initial burst of creativity and the wonderful idea for the start of a novel wore off. Most longer stories ran out after chapter 2 or 3.

I think having kids changed a lot in this regard, since it makes time a much more limited commodity and realigns your priorities. Another part of it is maybe just getting older and settling down a bit I guess. Another is that just forcing myself to keep going and seeing it through to the end helped figure out my own process better.

One book, which ties into the talent idea, and which helped me focus on putting in more time is "the talent code" by Daniel Coyle. It's a great read and it digs into the 10.000 hours idea and what makes people top athletes, musicians and the like.

As for not having enough time, I think that in almost all cases it's a not a matter of not enough time, but of not enough priority. Which is fine of course. Some things in life are more important then others. But we're very good at wasting time in small and large amounts. And if you're more conscious with that time you can find the time to chase your dreams.

 

[FifthView]

Admittedly, over the years—yes, years!—I have suffered all three blocks—a lot. So the video struck some chords with me. This is the TL;DR version. The longer version I'll outline below. Maybe others will find this revealing mea culpa helpful.

Going in reverse order...

"Secretly, you don't want to do it. You just think you should want to do it."

I found this to be the most difficult block to reconcile. A lingering block, there seems to be no up-front solution. If you suddenly realize you are trying to write for all the wrong reasons and that you have no strong intrinsic motivation, you begin to feel like a fool and imposter. An imposter, because the successful writers (or at least happy writers) seem to enjoy the very process of writing or else have very clear life goals attached with their efforts to write. A fool, because this sudden realization seems to point you in the direction of quitting altogether, and if you don't forever quit after realizing you secretly don't want to write then you must be a damn fool.

For me, the extrinsic reasons for writing have involved images of being a published writer, the name and person behind successful, selling fantasy novels—but not so much this glory and fame, although maybe a little bit, as having a stable income not dependent on being a cog in some corporate machine. Even if the income from writing is only supplemental, it would still allow more freedom, more movement in my life. (But of course, the fantasy is that it would solve all future issues involving money, heh. Talk about extrinsic reasons...)

"People like you don't do things like this."

This has been a pernicious block. I've written about this before on this site. I don't come from a family of professionals, or writers, or artists, or business owners, or... Basically, I spent all my time growing up in a low-mid economic working class family. Shift work. Factory work. Although I've found myself in managerial and administrative positions as I aged, I have had to learn those skills as a kind of fish out of water. (And on the way to those positions, I did a lot of low level shift work.) This meant that my understanding of work and life included the existence of others—higher-ups—who set the schedule, assigned tasks, and bore the responsibility of insuring everything was going according to plan. There was always someone above me who established the parameters, the goals, and so forth—and I've always liked that. It took the onus off me. I was just a cog, right? But writing a novel is not the same, not at all.

Last time I wrote about this on the site, I was slightly berated, heh. At least, it felt that way. "I, too, came from X, Y, Z background, and I'm doing it!! Nya, nya, nya!" I think the central motif of these blocks is that they are myopic, not rational. If this identity/self-image is a block limiting progress, the irrationality should be an assumed feature. Unfortunately, irrationality nonetheless can be a powerful, pernicious force.

Do a survey of television and movie families. How many are working class families, shift workers, factory workers, etc.? Or, scratch that. How many of the happy ones, the successful ones, are lower middle class? By far, most of the happy and successful families in these media have college-educated, professional parents as their backbone. Even shows that don't focus on families tend to have main characters who are professionals. The lower middle class versions in movies exist to show struggle, heh, or The Grind (tm). They are the unfortunate ones. There may be some exceptions, but this is the rule. And these images only reinforced the irrational block I had. People like that could successful.

Then, too, was the fact that I was always gay, having to navigate that field as a young adult in the 1990's in relatively rural, conservative Midwest U.S., including being kicked out of the U.S. Army for it and then coming under a microscope at every job I held. Another irrational image, and one that has required more time to overcome than I'd imagined it would. See, at the forefront of my mind, I was "Out and proud!" and anyway, I'd always been the sort to rebel against authority and ignorance, even before I came out. But there was always that lingering, subconscious feeling of being a failure of some sort, not good enough, lacking any potential for healthy professional networking and a stable life. As I said, irrational. I find now that a lot of younger people don't quite understand the kind of world 70's, 80's & 90's conservative America was, and the effect growing up gay in those decades could have on a person.

"You think, somewhere in your heart, that you can't do it."

This has been an irritating but less strong block for me. A silly block. I suppose my problem was that I always considered myself talented, gifted even—until I put rubber to road, heh. The results haven't always lived up to expectations. But the results haven't been so bad. I suppose the other two blocks were the strongest for me and, because they lurked in my psyche as monstrous inhibitors, and I began to see them there, they then became this "somewhere in your heart" realization that "I can't do it."

For an irrationality, the confusion of nurture with nature, i.e. family and social environment while growing up with genuine genetics, can serve as a strong example. But ultimately I know I can, technically, do it—I have this strong feeling counterbalancing everything else, which is probably the only reason I've never given up entirely.

Although I have stopped writing fiction, some months ago, I'll renew my efforts. Probably. Right? (Rhetorical question for myself; but, there it is.)

 

[Maker of Things Not Kings]

I think there is also something to right place right time in any life.

By that, I mean I think we all grow and develop different in different ways and at different paces. I've never had a lack of self-belief but I know I could not have been a writer in any meaningful way in my life before age 30. It took time for the seed to grow in me that opened those doors. In my teens and twenties I DID apply myself to things that were important to me then and I achieved what I believed was the best I could do in them at that time.

And people seem to love to put a time limit on things, "By the time I am 40 . . ." which is fine as a rough outline, but what person's life has ever gone by their own firm conception of how and when? We get there when we get there.

"Secretly, you don't want to do it. You just think you should want to do it." — "Basically, you value it for the wrong reasons."

OK, I know how dated and not-ok this sounds now but . . . Many years ago the musician, Peter Gabriel, was asked how he finds the time and energy to create music, tour the world and produce so many other artists in between. He said that he believed that if you walked out into the street and pointed a gun at someone and told them they had a year to create a great work of art, that person would suddenly have the motivation to do so. His belief was that it was up to each person to find that same urgent level of motivation in themselves. In these times, I no longer like the analogy but I DO agree with the urgency. It can be anything really; a desire to rise above something in your life, a sense of life's fragility, a realization that it's what makes you happiest above all other pursuits, a pure love for the craft. But it never works to do pursue those things under the feeling you should want to do it or for the acclaim it would bring. It took me a long time to understand the difference there. I felt that I should be and do a lot of things but that was, in the end, because I didn't know who I truly was deep down.

That only came with time too.

But I'll add that the discovery of our true motivation, self-awareness and passion can, and often does, come in the midst of that uncertainty so its not all for nothing or time wasted as long as we move forward eventually. I don't regret any time that I've spent in my life on other creative pursuits that did not pan out or that i now see I was doing for all those wrong reasons. They had their place. Their time. Their purpose. I learned and moved forward. And those lessons, combined with getting older and realizing that time was, indeed, a finite thing, pushed me to take the leaps and do the work inside myself that I needed to so that I could get where I wanted to be.

 

[Nighty_Knight]

My issue is I’m a horrible procrastinator. I have pages and pages of notes and world building. I keep telling myself to tonight I will write for an hour. Then, next thing I know it’s late and there is no point in even starting. I honestly just need deadlines. Deadlines someone else will hold me to, because I tried making my own and next thing I know it is 3 months later and I’m still only half way where I told myself I had to be. The worst part is I keep coming up with more ideas, good material, but I end up having to write it down as a quick note. I almost need a Misery to keep me locked in to work on it. Well, minus the ummm... sledgehammer part.

 

[Darkfantasy]

Having nothing else to do and being tied to someone who needed me around 24/7 definitely helped me knuckle down to writing. It also provided some escapism from being a carer for someone so sick. I felt like I should be doing something with my life, I should be moving forwards like my friends with college, uni, relationships travelling then settling down. Otherwise I hit that settling down time in my thirties and still hadn't achieved any of those things. But just stopping and living in the moment made me realize I didn't want those things anyway, I just thought I did because it was the 'norm' and I felt pressure to want those things by others. But it still didn't feel nice when every day was the same and my life went nowhere. But at least my writing was progressing, it was just everyone else thought it was a waste of time.

What knocked my confidence was that the people around me knew I wrote, they knew it meant the world to me, but they never asked me about it or wanted to read anything I wrote. My Mum read a lot so one day I asked her to read my novella. It just sat on her bedroom table for 6 months collecting dust while she read other things. I finally decided to collect it and it was covered in coffee stains and biscuits crumbs so I had to reprint the first page. All she'd done was used it to stand her drinks on so they didn't mark her table. Goes without saying that I never asked her to read anything again.

So my lack of confidence was never in me to start with, it was generated by people's attitude towards my dreams. I got no support and people treated me like it was a non-starter notion. My sister said "trust you to think of something daft." So I quit through my teens and picked it up again in my 20's but I've never been able to get back into it as I could before. Maybe it's because I'm mot a child anymore and my imagination isn't as active. But none the less, interesting talk and I enjoyed listening to it.

 

[Kasper Hviid]

While I never really felt it applied to me, I readily admit that the greatest hindrance is to be found inside myself. I can only commit fully to one thing at the time, and mostly, there are other projects that I rather work at: VR game development, learning Godot, visual art, getting a girlfriend, getting a new PC, getting a backup system, building a brush package for Krita, etc. Also, a lot of times, I just don't care about writing. Yeah, I should write daily, I should write consistently, but when I just don't care ...

Yesterday, my brother send me a real nice SMS, saying that he really, really liked my short story and that he hoped to read more. Wow! This stands in stark contrast with the experience of Darkfantasy above. Ugh. I think practically all people need some sort of affirmative feedback to keep them going. Luckily, today we have the internet. I mean, I could find this place with just a single google search. For those not very competent at it—that's totally me—social has gotten a lot more userfriendly.

 

[The Dark One]

I've said this before but it's probably worth repeating here...

It's not just that friends and relatives tend not to be interested in your writing (pre success), I think they are also scared (a) of having to give an opinion, but (b) more fundamentally, that you are trying to leave their world. And not reading your stuff (a) precludes having to give an opinion, and (b) gives no encouragement for you to achieve your dream, which from their perspective is you leaving them behind.

Once you do achieve some modicum of success, everything changes. Suddenly, people are keen to read your stuff and telling others they always knew you'd be successful. I think they tend both to be amazed you got something up after all (it does defy the odds) and also are reassured when you've achieved something but stayed in their world and haven't turned into an arsehole.

I learned to stop telling people about my writing - stop hassling people to read - and only gave out samples to the occasional person who was genuinely interested in the genre and had asked to read it. These tended to be people outside my closest circles.

After publication, lots of people wanted to read my WIP and talk about my work.

It will happen to you.