Style/Grammar question

[Svrtnsse]

I had a friend of mine proofread something for me and the following sentence caught their eye:

The sky was a clear blue and the sun warm and bright, unhindered by clouds.

They suggested I changed it to "...was clear blue..." but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. What do you guys think?

 

[TheokinsJ]

I think every writer has their own style, I was amazed reading your sentence because it sounds word-for-world like something I wrote in one of my early drafts. I use a lot of commas in sentences because I go into depth describing things and making comparisons. On reflection, my style is very poetic and I would use sentences quite similar to this example you have shown, however I don't see anything wrong with your sentence, although I'm not a professional editor, keep it if it feels right to you but be prepared to change it if you must in the final draft. If it's your style and that's the way you want to write it, then stick with it.

 

[advait98]

What you wrote is technically correct. Look at the sentence carefully. The sky is a clear blue. In this case, 'blue' is used as a noun, and 'clear' is being used to describe the noun, and 'a' is used as an article to the noun 'blue'. Hence, it's perfectly correct. However, in the sentence that your proofreaders recommended to you, 'blue' is being used as an adjective, and 'clear', another adjective, is being used to describe it. Some people would argue that that sentence is wrong.

So, don't worry about that. You're perfectly right, at least in my opinion. Go with your style.

 

[Svrtnsse]

Thanks for the feedback. It's indeed as you say that I mean to refer to the color of the sky and not the sky itself. I guess you could compare it to "...the sky had a clear blue color..."

 

[Guru Coyote]

Another way of comparing both versions might be:
The sky was a clear blue - you are telling me there are several different shades of blue the sky could be
The sky was clear blue - the sky had this one, very defined, color.

 

[saellys]

I like your original much better. You're describing the sky, which could have been a pearl grey or a dusky lavender or a flaming orange. Your proofreader's suggestion makes it sound like they think "clear" describes the sky, not the type of blue the sky is, but you say later in the same sentence that it's unhindered by clouds, which would become redundant if you changed it to "was clear blue". Also, "was clear blue" is awkward and abrupt to read, both silently and aloud, while "was a clear blue" has a much more natural feel and poetic rhythm, at least to me.

This time around, go with what you've got.

 

[Penpilot]

Either works for me. It all depends on the voice of the character and your voice. Removing the "a" shifts the rhythm of the sentence. But the exact same information is conveyed, so if push came to shove in terms of reducing word count, removing the "a" would be an option if you didn't want to rewrite the sentence.

Generally speaking, if it's true to character, leave it.

 

[Svrtnsse]

Thanks again everyone for the feedback. I originally went with the A because it felt cool to me and then when it got pointed out I couldn't really explain why. Now I can.