The Hardest Character to Write. EVER.

[Mindfire]

An upset mother. I am not even kidding. I can connect to all of my characters fairly well except one: the protagonist's mother.

I don't know why, I just have a hard time understanding her. And the entire issue has become even more of a stumbling block because now I have to write her reaction to finding out that her son has been captured by the enemy. I can't seem to come up with anything believable for her to say. It all comes out either unrealistically melodramatic or far too dry. There's something about a storm of maternal emotions that I seem to have trouble connecting with. In fact, I think that's the problem with this character in general. She's emotional in a way none of my other characters are. Nothing but emotional in fact. My other characters are (like me) mostly logos, but she's 100% pathos. It might be causing a "does not compute" error in my subconscious or something. Idk.


The only solution I can think of at the moment is to write her character out entirely by saying that she died in childbirth. But before I resort to extreme measures, does anyone have any helpful suggestions? I'm really thrown for a loop here. This one issue has halted my entire narrative process.

EDIT: I just realized I might not even have the option to write her out, since she needs to see a vision that helps kick off the main plot. The only other person I could give the vision to is my protagonist's cousin, but she's busy rescuing him. Or I could give it to his father, but that would be tricky considering that the vision has cultural significance and the protagonist's father and mother are from different cultures, so he wouldn't even know what it meant. Changing who gets the vision would be doable, but tricky. Which means this matter has become even more problematic.

 

[The Din]

Imagine your favorite pet was stolen by crack-heads who planned to sell it to a fluffy coat maker. That might stir up some emotions. Otherwise, set up a few cameras in your house and write your mum a fake ransom note. Once she stops beating you with the broom, she might divulge some useful info. If all that fails, try reading Katylin Stark's POV chapters from George R R Martin's a song of fire an ice.

And I wouldn't recommend leaving out characters just because they're hard to write. Good luck.

 

[Ankari]

You can always Google interviews with parents of kidnapped children. That would be the best thing to do. Most likely you'll find an enormous effort to deny reality then a quick collapse as the undeniable truth shatters her reality. Guilt, for the perceived failure to protect her child. Accusation as she attempts to mitigate the blame onto someone else such as the father. Then frantic praying to the deity that she probably never acknowledged until then.

 

[DiferentFromTheAI]

Mothers are people too. the showing faults and misses of mothers is not usual in our society. what I mean is that many mothers scream and course and cry speechless when their sons die.

nobody likes dealing with hurt-filled mothers. taken from social mainstream; Harry Potter, Batman, Superman...

 

[arbiter117]

If you are having trouble giving her something to say.... what if she just doesn't say anything? She could be so emotionally scarred that she stops speaking altogether, she might stop trying to live and just sit staring out a window wishing to die.

Just a thought.

 

[Graylorne]

Have her faint at the news, afterwards kept in her room under sedation because she's hysterical and might harm herself?

 

[Caged Maiden]

I'll help you with dialogue if you need a mother's perspective.

It's like being a mama bear. We're all sweetness and light 'til someone screws with the cubs. Then we can scare the pants off the gnarliest male bear you've ever seen.

I live in Albuquerque and people frequently invade people's personal space to beg for money here. One day someone approached my car window while I waited for a carry-out order to be brought.

I think that crusty ass beggar saw something in my eyes that made him walk away slowly, not talking his eyes off me when I stared him down and said, "I have my kids in the car, you need to go away right now."

I'm here if you want some insider info, because if it's about a mom protecting her children, all I can say is I'd rip someone's arms off and beat them to death with them. No lie. No thought to self-preservation at all, just pure raw instinct and a little bit of bloodlust.

 

[Ghost]

What is she like before she finds out the news? And what does she know about the son's captors?

I don't understand the "100% pathos" as it relates to this character. The things I find about it are about public speaking and persuasion. Do you mean she's an emotional person? She manipulates the emotions of others?

I could see a parent becoming overwhelmed and unable to cope. If she has a support system, she could lean on them. Heck, she could cry on the shoulders of a stranger in that moment. Maybe she's strong and irrational, so she blames others or harrasses people about rescuing her son even if there's nothing they can do. She might blame herself. She might not believe the news. She might decide to go check it out for herself. She might feel he's as good as dead, but I think it's more likely for her to remain hopeful. She might do all those things.

I don't think a strong emotional reaction will hurt you. (Mind you, I'm someone who has to tone down her characters' dialog.) She cares about her son, so she'll have a strong reaction, whether that means shutting down, weeping inconsolably, or threatening everyone who gets in her way. However, if she's the only emotional character around, she might look like a caricature even though her reaction makes sense. If that's the case, perhaps she could learn the news off stage. A character less affected by the situation could mention her reaction, and it would be more removed and less intense.

 

[Jess A]

I do a bit of freelance journalism; I find interviewing is a skill which is also useful for my book. Usually it's to find out information about a topic from someone knowledgeable.

This skill can also be used to get to 'know' a personality. I imagine it'd be hard on you to interview a distraught mother, but perhaps you could interview an ordinary mother. The interviewee(s) might be able to help you to understand all those fears which sit at the back of any parent's mind every day. You could ask the mother how she would feel if in your character's situation. It would be best to do the interview in person - body language and facial language are telling, even when offering someone a hypothetical situation.

 

[Erica]

Some of the problem may be in that you are trying too hard to make her the emotional mom and nothing else. Very few (if any) people are all logos or all pathos, after all. Moms are as complex as other people, and they may find themselves in conflict with their "want to protect their kids at all costs" emotional self and the more rational person they are in every other context. And not all moms strive to protect their kids in the same way. I know moms who would use a "crusty old beggar" approaching the car as a teachable moment for their kids, for instance. The difference may not lie in their feelings for their kids, in this case, but in the past experiences they've had and the general feelings and perceptions they have about homeless people in general.

Individual differences would exist in other cultures too. I don't know what sort of society your story takes place in, but in pre-industrial cultures, kids grew up a lot faster than they did today, and while parents loved their kids, the specter of possibly losing them to disease or misfortune was very real. I would guess that there would be differences in how people respond to threats, based on personality, situation and experience. If this kid is all the mom has, her reaction may be far more over the top than if she has eight (or even one or two) other kids and she has to "hold it together" for their sakes.

Or you may want to view this character through the eyes of someone else (not have her be a pov character at all)--someone who doesn't understand her either. That way, you could use your difficulty in coming to terms with her motives as a way of developing your other character.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I'm trying not to be offended by being called out as the face of irrational fear in this instance. I have every right to see whomever I feel like as a threat, and perhaps I could have expounded on exactly WHY I felt like this man was threatening.

Perhaps my description was written in haste, and a touch insensitive to what you term "homeless person" but I assure you, this man was neither homeless nor harmless. I saw him as one of many who use any means necessary to approach people he feels are weaker than him, and my response was warranted and justified in me eyes. Perhaps you would have given him money, or maybe invited him around for a chat, but to me, he was a man who leered as he approached me and encroached on my personal space without being invited. And that made me more than a touch uncomfortable.

In this town, this happens all the time. Every time I go grocery shopping after dark there are men waiting in the parking lots, same story every time. "My car ran out of gas, can I have a dollar?" "I got stranded here with no ride home, can I have money for the bus?"

If you are the kind of person who would willingly extend your hand in friendship to these men (middle-aged or younger, wearing normal street clothes, and walking confidently if not intimidatingly), then perhaps you are a bigger person than I am. Or maybe you are just the sort of person they're looking for.

While I have always believed in charity, there is a difference between serving meals to the elderly at a senior center and being bullied and intimidated into giving someone money in a public parking lot. I refuse to allow someone that sort of power over me, and that comes from a lifetime of experience dealing with all different sorts of people.

So maybe I did teach my children the important lesson, to stand up for yourself. I'm all for trusting people, but there was no reason why I felt I owed that guy anything. The fact that he approached me while I was cornered in a vehicle with four small children was probably only part of the reason I reacted how I did.

If I sounded insensitive toward the needy, I apologize. I have helped several down-and-out people to get back on their feet, for no reason other than that I had the means to help another human being. But all that goes out the window when someone approaches me threateningly, invades my personal space, or gets near my kids with unknown intentions.

I've no intentions of freezing stock still like a rabbit while a wolf breathes down my neck. I'm as fierce as anything they've ever seen and one day one unlucky wolf is going to find out just how serious this Killer Rabbit can be. Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

 

[Reaver]

Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

Monty Python : Sacré Graal ! - Caerbannog - YouTube

RUN AWAY!!!!

RUN AWAY!!!!​

​

 

[Reaver]

I would be remiss if I didn't include these here:



Knights who say Ni - in Japanese! - YouTube

monty python-witch scene - YouTube

 

[Helen]

...does anyone have any helpful suggestions?...

It might be useful to think in terms of archetypes here.

The mother is often repressive, wanting to keep the protag at home, repressed, protected, within rules and boundaries and constraints. Think Rose's mother in Titanic.

The mother has often been outgrown by the hero, who needs to move on. Think Daniel's mother in the original Karate Kid.

The mother was a supernatural aid of old and now is relegated in favor of more powerful supernatural aids. Think Daniel's mother vs Miyagi in the original karate kid.

The mother has moved on and leaves the protag feeling abandoned or lacking in parental attachment and assistance. Think the mother in Bridesmaids.

You can expand the options out by considering the parent archetype in general.

The mother's reaction will depend on her archetype / role / relationship / motivation.

You could also use the self-concept principle. What was her self-concept, how has that been threatened by the events of the story?

Good luck.

 

[Erica]

Sorry Caged. In hindsight, what I wrote sounded snippier than intended.

My point was that moms are not all the same, and what their circumstances and past experiences as well as the particulars of the current one will temper what they consider threats and how they respond to them. Losing a child is the ultimate nightmare for a parent, but how people deal with that (in hindsight) is also going to depend on their culture and circumstances as well as their own personality.

I do think we tend to have a lot of stereotypes about moms and how they are based on some pretty narrow portrayals by the media, and that may be hindering the original poster in his attempt to connect emotionally with this particular character.