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These new-fangled games!


Murder! Theft! Being bad for the sake of being bad! Working your way up the criminal ladder one slimy rung at a time! These games have their fun parts... in Assassin's Creed you can run around like an idiot and climb up buildings at the expense of being deemed by passerbys as a some kinda nut. But that's not how you're going to win the game! Your guy is dressed in all white in obvious assassin's garb and you have to spend the game walking slowly with hands raised to your face in prayer, blending with the crowd.

A.Creed just takes all the fun out of a stealth game. And there's no subtitles? Bah. It's more anal about stealth than Metal Gear Solid. I hate this series. Why do I keep trying A.Creed one and A.Creed II? A.Creed two frequently has people speak in a mix of English and Italian and when they say an Italian word, I have to read the subtitle carefully to see what word they said in English and the subtitle just flash by too fast! It sorta seems to be fun to play in Italy and maybe eventually... very eventually see DaVinci. But I'm very early on in these games.

Anyhow, there is a certain game series I loathe more than A.Creed and its "Grand Theft Auto." Failure of missions means you have to repeat boring cinemas and playable content. They need a better "Checkpoint" system. I hated Rockstar Games for years but then I tried out "LA Noire"... gambling on a complete version with all DownLoad Content (DLC) enabled via OnLive and I just got hooked on this thing! It has the best "checkpoints" of any of their game. If and WHEN you get a game over, you get to repeat the car chase or whatever from the beginning. And in a way since you're a detective, this game shines a far brighter light of reckless violence and mayhem for which Rockstar is most famous for... tossing the whole open game world genre on its ear.

You slowly examine the crime scenes. With corpses (and there's tons) its carefully lift those hands, check the pockets, check the head, see if there's a finger missing or blunt-force trauma to the head... As slow as the game's pacing is ...

the last few cases as Cole Phelp's career goes careening into the crapper are arson cases. Easily the most depressing cases of the whole game... and he makes the mistake of going out with a German woman just three years after the end of World War II. What the hell was he thinking???


The gunfight mechanics of the game are a sight to behold! You have to duck behind cover. Push a button and Cole will walk along a wall to to its edge. Peek around the corner to aim & shoot or just blind-shoot from cover. It puts most other games to shame!

Anyway, there's boring parts: investigate a crime scene, interrogate people, drive to and fro crime scenes while being careful not to crash into anyone.... foot chases of criminals which either result in a heroic tackle and arrest or a fist-fight then eventual arrest. Or car chases where you are allowed to ram the hell out of the other guy's car but you're a sitting duck for their bullets... the worst are the scenes where you need to escape in a car. Oh, wait, the worst is the on-foot snails pace when you tail a suspect!

But anyway, for the one Cole Phelpses we get in this gen of games there's plenty of bloodthirsty criminal games!

I'm playing Saints Row 2 & Saints Row: The Third which are regarded as "Poor Imitations of GTA" or something like that. I'm also playing Mafia II. Most of the games are on OnLive. Some are on Steam.

Oh well, there's light at the end of the tunnel: an indie game called "Braid" where you platform like Mario but can reverse time when you die or make a mistake ...

I miss the good old days of sidescrollers... where you move from left to right to finish the stage. Sometimes you had to go upwards somehow...

I'm playing the living heck out of these new games that fully utilize dual analog sticks and I'm not getting any better at them. ...
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