Using repeat words close together

[Harbinger]

Hi. I noticed that when I write I tend to use words like 'just' 'but' 'he/she' or 'despite' alot. Sometimes its once a paragraph but others its three or more. The problem is some of these words just dont have very good synonyms to use in their place. I also came across a similar situation when writing dialogue, especially lengthy conversations in which there can be 'he/she' said/replied used several times. Does anyone else have similar situations?

 

[Angharad]

Sometimes it helps to rewrite the sentence in a different way to avoid using words you don't want to use. I constantly use the thesaurus to help find appropriate synonyms. In dialogue, seeing he said/she said doesn't bother me too much. I find it more annoying if there are too few dialogue tags and I lose track of who said what.

 

[Sevvie]

With dialogue I don't find it to be a problem when using "He/she", but when you're writing the meat of your story (as I call it!) it is best to avoid overusing certain terms. A *lot* of the time if you're overusing words like "just", you'll find that if you omit them it still gets the same information across without altering the grammar of the sentence. Or just rearrange the sentence completely, and it seems to free up over-need for the word.
(Obviously this isn't the case with all instances of "just", for example.)
As an example:
"She just couldn't understand it." = "No matter what she tried, she couldn't understand it."

When not talking about dialogue, it is very easy to overuse "He/she" to the point where an entire paragraph is riddled with it, and reading it becomes...well repetitive. But there are quite a few ways to change them, and get yourself into a habit so you only use it when necessary. For example:

"Mary shook her head disdainfully at the feline. She began to wonder what was wrong with him. He just spun around in circles, as if he was a dog chasing its tail, all day long. She caressed the cat behind the ears despite his quirky behavior. She would love him no matter what."
This can easily be changed to: "Mary shook her head disdainfully at the feline. At times she wondered what was wrong with him. All day long he just spun around in circles, like a dog chasing its tail. Regardless of his quirky behavior, she caressed the cat behind his ears. She would love him no matter what."

A lot of the time it is just a matter of trying to rethink a sentence. There are generally a lot of different ways a sentence can be written without affecting the message that comes across, even if they might not be obvious at the time.

Hope that helped a little... If not, err, well, sorry. ^^

 

[Theankh]

I find myself using he/she all the time as well, mainly because I don't want to be constantly repeating the characters names.

I don't think there's any way around that one, apart from trying to restructure your sentences where possible as Sevvie suggested.

 

[Leuco]

Here are a few easy suggestions to help mix things up a bit.

Sometimes you don't need to say he said, she said if the reader can easily infer who is talking. You can just write the line of dialogue and they'll know who's talking. Also you can come up with some kind of phrase for the character like, "the young warrior called" or "the bitter, old witch replied" instead of saying he or she again.

Also, it helps to go back and read your favorite authors to see what they do. You'll find they come up with some creative solutions that you can use too.

 

[Sevvie]

Here are a few easy suggestions to help mix things up a bit.

Sometimes you don't need to say he said, she said if the reader can easily infer who is talking. You can just write the line of dialogue and they'll know who's talking. Also you can come up with some kind of phrase for the character like, "the young warrior called" or "the bitter, old witch replied" instead of saying he or she again.

Also, it helps to go back and read your favorite authors to see what they do. You'll find they come up with some creative solutions that you can use too.

Those are some good suggestions. I forgot about using different "descriptions" in place of names.

 

[Harbinger]

First off thanks to all of you your ideas helped a lot. I get so used to writing a certain way it helps to look at sentences or dialogue in different perspectives and to change it up. Sometimes i worry about it so much that it strains my writing, so this will definitely give me one less thing to worry about when I sit down at my computer ha.

 

[Argentum]

I do find that when I use the character names too much and then fall back onto he/she and other titles they might have, I notice how awful it makes my writing. First you use their names. Then when you use that too much you move on to pronouns. After that, you start using other titles they might have and descriptions of them in replacement. At some point it starts looking pretty bad, just cluttered and chaotic. You can replace the words, but in some cases, it's better to simply start over and reshape the sentences so certain words don't need to be said.

 

[Harbinger]

ya that happens to me too. especially in battle scenes where enemies usually go from foes to adversaries to antagonists and so on. But ya i think reshaping the sentences themselves is a better approach.

 

[SeverinR]

Most replies have been about general words,
They don't talk about the linking words. But, and,

First charge ahead. IMO this is an editing function. Get the story down then polish the wording.

"He heads for the elevator but stops short, when he sees a package."
"Heading for the elevator, he stops short noticing a forgotten package near it."

Most linking words can easily be omitted with just simple rewording that actually flows better. (I had this problem too)


Repeated words or frequently used words are easily fixed, and again I do that when I edit, rather then worry about it during the writing stage.
He/she/or their name: Look at the grouping, can you identify who is doing the action without stating it?
When two people are talking the person answering a question (if already noted as being in the conversation) does not have to be re-identified. Each response should be looked at, if you need to identify the person, does it need to be their name, could it be some other identifier? Even other then She/he?

Example: first writing
Melima looked at Eildetha, Eildetha's baby dragon wings are so smooth and delicate. She runs her fingers lightly over the surface of her wings. Melima sighs pleasantly.
"You are so sweet."Melima whispers to Eildetha.
Eildetha looks up and bleats softly to Melima.
First edit
Melima looked at Eildetha, the baby dragon's wings are so smooth and delicate, running her fingers lightly over the surface then sighs plesantly.
"You are so sweet."(She whispers) (to the dragonet).
The dragonet looks up (at her) bleating sweetly(to the young elf).

Second edit:
I first wrote this with the words in parathesis, then decided that these might not be needed.
If I needed to, I could probably replace the one then I used. But only one in the example I probably wouldn't change it.

 

[Harbinger]

Yes thats true but yet and are all words i use on the regular. It took me awhile before i let myself just write out a first draft, no matter how bad, and then worry about polishing after. Trying to edit and write at the same time becomes a mess