RK-Summers
Scribe
I get told off a lot for this... in order to connect more with your audience, I'm told that a writer needs to avoid 'was-ing'... put simply, this means turning this:
The murky fog in his mind was distorting his judgement.
Into this:
The murky fog in his mind distorted his judgement.
Yes, I know that's an obvious example that should be changed, but what about something a little more subtle? For example, the opening lines of my novel stand thus:
The forest stood still and quiet. The first buds of spring were opening to welcome the cool dew of morning, and a herd of white deer stood like sentinels among the ghostly bodies of birch trees. The chill mist was broken by a shrill, brazen scream of a child in terror.
Those two words I've emboldened are what bug people. But why? The buds haven't opened, they're still opening as the story begins. It's only the beginning of spring, so the buds are only beginning to open. So can a was-ing or a were-ing still stand? Does it HAVE to be deleted?
The murky fog in his mind was distorting his judgement.
Into this:
The murky fog in his mind distorted his judgement.
Yes, I know that's an obvious example that should be changed, but what about something a little more subtle? For example, the opening lines of my novel stand thus:
The forest stood still and quiet. The first buds of spring were opening to welcome the cool dew of morning, and a herd of white deer stood like sentinels among the ghostly bodies of birch trees. The chill mist was broken by a shrill, brazen scream of a child in terror.
Those two words I've emboldened are what bug people. But why? The buds haven't opened, they're still opening as the story begins. It's only the beginning of spring, so the buds are only beginning to open. So can a was-ing or a were-ing still stand? Does it HAVE to be deleted?