What Is Love?

[Justme]

I believe that love is something we all have inside of us. It is not a bottomless well, but the desire for love is eternal. Lets call this well a reservoir, because Love is really a finite resource. It can only pour out for so long and at so much a pace, until it runs very low and finally dries up. At that time you become cynical and some turn to hanging on others, hoping and envying the love they have with others.

I think that a person needs to find someone to expend the love that they have inside themselves. They can fake what they truly desire and lie to themselves as well as their partners, but this will only be a substitute to finding that one special person.

The only way that they can fully be the person they are is to find the love they desire and embrace it in the arms of those they need. Only then can this reservoir be replenished and this will allow them to pour more of that love out as the milk of human kindness out upon the rest of the world.

 

[Caged Maiden]

There's different types of love.

I love drawing, when what I really mean is that I feel calm when I'm doing it and proud when I look on my work.

I love cooking, when what I really mean is that it makes me feel appreciated when people allow me to comfort them.

I love my costumes, when what I really mean is that I feel confident and beautiful when I wear them.

I love my car, when what I really mean is, "Get your F***ing hands off my car or I'll rip your arms off and beat you to death with them!"

I love my husband, when what I really mean is that I have deep respect and admiration for the man who is my partner in all things and allows me to be myself, and accepts me as I am.

I love my children, when what I really mean is that I would sacrifice myself and the things I want or need to make sure they have what they need first.

Many people don't ever think about why they love someone or something, but if you look closely, I think it has a whole lot to do with how something makes you feel. Don't get me wrong, we are all complicated people, and many of us love complicated people. But in my life, I've given this question a lot of thought, and realized that whenever I fell out of love with someone, it was usually because they made me feel bad about myself, or because I lost respect for them.

A relationship between two people is a complicated thing, and love must be learned, because if you cannot love someone selflessly, it is nothing more than an obsession or infatuation. I think most peoples' ideas of love come from a very selfish place unfortunately, and they never get to experience the true deep love that grows from mutual respect and a genuine desire to see another be happy, even if it means it's without you. I count myself lucky that I know what that feels like, because it's a freeing experience.

I love my life.

 

[Telcontar]

Baby don't hurt me.

 

[Chilari]

Telcontar: That's what I was thinking too.

 

[Aravelle]

As to quote a song, "Love, love is the only truth."
For me personally, love is everything. Love is what kept me alive, it's what I live for. I thrive on love in all its forms just as much as I do on water and air and food. Love is a universal force, that can unite all sorts of people. Its just.... love.

 

[Rikilamaro]

There are three kinds of love.
Eros, Filos and Agape.

Eros - Or erotic love. The first whirlwind attraction you feel towards another person. Your heart pounds, your hands sweat. This love is short term, superficial, and unsustainable. It's what I thought of when you said that love runs out.

Filos - Brotherly love. This includes friendship. It is the feeling I have for not only my brother, but my best friend, her family, etc. It's the love that many people say they have for their spouses after 30+ years. It can be deep, abiding, and constant.

Agape - Unconditional love. This is the love some parents have for their children. I say some, because sadly, not everyone loves their kids as they should. That's a conversation for another time, though. Agape love is the willingness to lay down your life for someone without a second thought. It cannot be negated by petty arguments or bad choices. It is limitless, non-judgmental, and forgiving.

There's my two cents.

 

[Justme]

As to quote a song, "Love, love is the only truth."
For me personally, love is everything. Love is what kept me alive, it's what I live for. I thrive on love in all its forms just as much as I do on water and air and food. Love is a universal force, that can unite all sorts of people. Its just.... love.

I thank you for this.


Has anyone ever pondered what life would be like without this emotion. An emotion that costs so little to give, but costs so much to society, as a whole, when it's power is withdrawn. What would happen if a parents love was withdrawn and the shear act of holding their infants never took place?

I've heard the argument that religion shows us love, but I think nurturing has been around, far longer than any religion and is the spark that ignites fire that burns so deeply within us all. I understand the reluctance of some to post anything other than a humorous response to this. Love and hate are the two strongest emotions a human being can feel. It is very personal and all things in it's name wither positive or negative is just as personal. Some have lost everything and have killed for it.

 

[Rikilamaro]

There have actually been studies about children who were not held at all or enough in the first year of their lives. Some of them died. Others failed to thrive and had developmental delays. Most of them had long lasting psychological issues.

Withdrawing love from the world would be the fastest way to end it. It is love for our fellow man that keeps most interactions in our daily affairs civil. If you don't care for someone at all - why would you help them in any way?

If you remove love, does hate get amplified or cease to exist? Can you have one without the other?

 

[Aravelle]

I don't believe we could thrive without love. We would exist, but truly live? No. We would be like ants, mindless drones- assuming that we no longer had the need or desire for love.

This thread reminds me of Brave New World. The characters legitimately lacked love.. and it shows.

 

[Justme]

There are three kinds of love.
Eros, Filos and Agape.

Eros - Or erotic love. The first whirlwind attraction you feel towards another person. Your heart pounds, your hands sweat. This love is short term, superficial, and unsustainable. It's what I thought of when you said that love runs out.

I think that this is more animistic lust than anything else. There is nothing to cherish and that to me is a essential part of love. I think you have to see something within someone to begin to love them. This perception doesn't have to be factual and most of the hurt that comes from love is because a person expects the other to perform to the level of their perceptions.

Filos - Brotherly love. This includes friendship. It is the feeling I have for not only my brother, but my best friend, her family, etc. It's the love that many people say they have for their spouses after 30+ years. It can be deep, abiding, and constant.

This, I think is more do to the shared experiences of those withing it than anything else. Take away that uniting bond and this feeling will collapse.

Agape - Unconditional love. This is the love some parents have for their children. I say some, because sadly, not everyone loves their kids as they should. That's a conversation for another time, though. Agape love is the willingness to lay down your life for someone without a second thought. It cannot be negated by petty arguments or bad choices. It is limitless, non-judgmental, and forgiving.

There's my two cents.

And I appreciate every penny of that and thank you for it.

The following is nothing to do with the above quote. it Is me trying to justify my own inadequacies in describing my meanings and promote my ideals about discussion and debate.

I tell you truthfully, I am not a debater. I don't consider a discussion or debate won or lost because someone forced their views on others or reducing them to ashes. It's not the last poster that succeeds at debating, it is he who can bring his vision to others in a way that they can except it. I've not had that much success myself and I'm not against asking others for their help in this.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Sorry if I came off as debating. i was just trying to lay out my views in an easy to read sort of way. You asked, and since I still have that song stuck in my head I thought I should respond.

 

[Justme]

There have actually been studies about children who were not held at all or enough in the first year of their lives. Some of them died. Others failed to thrive and had developmental delays. Most of them had long lasting psychological issues.

Withdrawing love from the world would be the fastest way to end it. It is love for our fellow man that keeps most interactions in our daily affairs civil. If you don't care for someone at all - why would you help them in any way?

If you remove love, does hate get amplified or cease to exist? Can you have one without the other?

A very good question there.

I think the removal of love will succeed in the removal of the term Humane, sense our sense of human value will shift from excepting others for who they are to what they can do for us. Hate, I think is more do to a sense of denial than anything else. The reason I say this is because there have been instances of unimaginable cruelty done to people who only return sadness for their loss. True hatred seems to come from a sense that some are getting more than they deserve or are getting treated better than the viewer. Note, I only have my experiences with my dad to work with.

Please don't get me wrong. I loved my dad, even after he stole money from me and kept the existence of my own daughter from me. The latter of those two things was the worst, but I have no hatred for him for doing it. He lost the experience of seeing his grand daughter and that saddens me. He was more interested in impressing others by what he owned, other than who he was inside and that made any success only temporary. What was permanent was his distaste for anyone who he deemed more prosperous than he.

This might be a tunnel vision view of what produces hatred. What do you think?

 

[Justme]

Sorry if I came off as debating. i was just trying to lay out my views in an easy to read sort of way. You asked, and since I still have that song stuck in my head I thought I should respond.

Sir, please don't think because I posted that in a quote from you that I meant it as a accusation. I have a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth and mind and I will always drift a little when I post or reply. I appreciate everyone's input and crave everyone's input in everything I say and post.

 

[Penpilot]

If you remove love, does hate get amplified or cease to exist? Can you have one without the other?

A world without either is an apathetic world I would think.

I'm finding trying to of 'what is love' is like trying to define what blue is or finding a word that rhymes with orange.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Well by definition it would be apathetic. But it's like asking can there be light without dark?

I think I'll create a name for my next main character that rhymes with orange. It'd be a great selling point.

 

[Justme]

A world without either is an apathetic world I would think.

I'm finding trying to of 'what is love' is like trying to define what blue is or finding a word that rhymes with orange.

No matter what direction one comes from Love, once you find it can only be described as a positive light, which I think eliminates such arbitrary references to any inanimate object or color. Can a color give you a reason to continue to exist or make you work and save so much that you can afford something as expensive as a wedding ring, only to give that ring to someone else? I think not.

I think a world without value would be more apathetic than one without love or hate. Even without those two emotions, there is still greed, envy and a whole host of other small minded emotions to cloud the mind to what is truly valuable.

 

[Caged Maiden]

There was a study done involving baby monkeys. They were taken from their mothers and put into cages with a sort of water bottle made of metal which was filled with milk, and a terrycloth doll. The study was to determine whether tactile softness or the supply of food made an infant attached to its mother. When they would rattle the cages, the baby monkeys all jumped onto their dolls and clung to them for comfort, but none associated milk with comfort.

So as the monkeys aged, they had babies of their own, and they didn't cuddle their own babies, and some of them were killed. The cycle of nurturing was broken in one generation, and monkeys that hadn't been cuddled had no instinct to cuddle their own offspring.

 

[Justme]

There was a study done involving baby monkeys. They were taken from their mothers and put into cages with a sort of water bottle made of metal which was filled with milk, and a terrycloth doll. The study was to determine whether tactile softness or the supply of food made an infant attached to its mother. When they would rattle the cages, the baby monkeys all jumped onto their dolls and clung to them for comfort, but none associated milk with comfort.

So as the monkeys aged, they had babies of their own, and they didn't cuddle their own babies, and some of them were killed. The cycle of nurturing was broken in one generation, and monkeys that hadn't been cuddled had no instinct to cuddle their own offspring.

I remember that study and it does seem to point to the conclusion, but does that mean that if a child is neglected they would not seek love in later life. I think that nurturing has a place in society, but would being neglected make that person not value people or just make them uncomfortable in creating relationships with others? Would they still have the need for a relationship or just someone to take up empty space.?

 

[Penpilot]

No matter what direction one comes from Love, once you find it can only be described as a positive light, which I think eliminates such arbitrary references to any inanimate object or color.

I'm not making any comparisons on the qualities of love. I'm only saying it's very hard to describe. Love has many shades, and one of those shades is very dark. Love someone too much and you can suffocate them. Love yourself too little and you're open yourself to being taken advantage of.

Can a color give you a reason to continue to exist or make you work and save so much that you can afford something as expensive as a wedding ring, only to give that ring to someone else? I think not.

Again not comparing color to love. Lots of other things could make you do that too. Love can also drive you to kill, lie and cheat.

I think a world without value would be more apathetic than one without love or hate. Even without those two emotions, there is still greed, envy and a whole host of other small minded emotions to cloud the mind to what is truly valuable.

Greed is the love of stuff. Envy is the love of what someone else has.

Sorry, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, far from it. But I think love is complex, and like I said in my first post, very hard to describe. It has many shades, not all of them light. And I think only to look at the lighter shades of love is to turn your back on a significant portion of love as a whole.

 

[Steerpike]

No link to Nazareth yet?