Terrible With Similes!

[Xitra_Blud]

Metaphors I don't tend to really have a problem with, I just really suck at similes, for some reason, so I don't really use them in my stories. I really like when an author uses similes, though, and it really brings me into the story. This bothers me because I want to use them in my work but I have such a difficult time with them. Does anyone else have this issue or with some other writing skill you can't seem to grasp? And is this really a bad thing?

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

My understanding of metaphor & simile is as follows:

Metaphor is a word, or phrase, applied to an object that is not literally applicable.

Simile is a figure of speech involving the comparison of one item to another item of a different kind, used for vivid description.

I really like similes too, in both reading & writing. To me, they are extremely effective descriptors because they can pull a reader into the moment, with vivid description that presents information in a way that incorporates the readers imagination. This, in my opinion, immerses the reader deeper into the story because it engages the mind. They are an active participant, decoding your comparative description, and applying it to the story's real object or event.

It's funny you posted this because I've been wondering lately if I use simile too much. I've been considering scaling back these types of descriptions. But, I suppose this can always be done in revision.

Here's an example that I wrote yesterday. Hopefully it's effective:

Shadows along the far wall deepened in the failing light. Rajani lifted her knee, hanging her foot over the edge of the salt line. A ripple, like the blue-tinted sheen of waving black silk, caught her eye, moving within the growing darkness.

The use of simile comes fairly natural to me, at least I think. I attribute this to constant attention being applied to showing in my writing. Well, i suppose that's not natural at all then, but a learned behavior that feels natural now.

Anyway, if I want to describe something vividly, without just coming out with a straightforward description, I try to think of things that look, smell, feel, taste, or behave similarly to the thing I'm trying to describe.

In the above example, I needed to describe something dark that is moving within an almost equally dark shadow. Thinking of things that are black, that when they move, also show another aspect that one would notice because of the movement, I settled on the sheen created by undulating black silk. The blue color was chosen for a specific reason that ties into other book elements.

I hope this helps.

 

[Penpilot]

No, you don't really need to use similes and metaphors in your writing. If it doesn't feel natural, don't force it. I find that in my early drafts I tend to have patches where I used them too much. You can write a perfectly awesome story without them.

If you want to improve just practice using this type of sentence construction "A was like B." or "X is as Y" just to get you into that mode of thinking.

One thing to keep in mind, you're already pretty much already there. To my understanding similes ARE metaphors. All similes are metaphors but not all metaphors are similes. Metaphors are generally considered more powerful images than similes and are harder to come up with.

Here are some links that may help.
What is the Difference Between Metaphor and Simile?

Similes and Metaphors - Grammar & Punctuation | The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation

Metaphor, Simile and Analogy: What’s the Difference? - Copyblogger

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I see metaphors and similes are being very similar - a simile is a metaphor with "like" and "as" for training wheels. To use a couple for examples from Faerie Rising...

Here is a metaphor..

Rivulets of blood rose and trailed lazily down to drip chrysanthemums into the clear water, but the ooze remained steady.

And here is a simile...

He pulled himself up on his elbows, glass falling like ice from his hair.

Does that make sense? And if it makes you feel any better, my writing buddy has similar issues.

 

[Chessie]

I also suck at them, and in fact, find them a bit annoying, so my writing lacks a lot of similes. I find other ways of expressing myself/telling the story. I think its possible to write a good story without them BUT...every now and then a good one will slip in and you'll be surprised at yourself.

 

[GeekDavid]

Just write. Don't worry about what the High Llamas of Writing (most of whom have never published a bestseller) say are The Rules Of Good Creative Writing.

If your style doesn't include similes, then it doesn't. It's your style, you're allowed to do that, and no one can tell you it's wrong... or if they do, you can look them in the eye and say, "No, you're wrong. It's my style, I decide what it is and what it isn't."

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Just write. Don't worry about what the High Llamas of Writing (most of whom have never published a bestseller) say are The Rules Of Good Creative Writing.

If your style doesn't include similes, then it doesn't. It's your style, you're allowed to do that, and no one can tell you it's wrong... or if they do, you can look them in the eye and say, "No, you're wrong. It's my style, I decide what it is and what it isn't."

I agree with the sentiment, but no one is telling the OP it's wrong to write without similes & no one is trying to force any rules of metaphor.

The OP stated a desire to incorporate simile because they like them.

...I want to use them in my work but I have such a difficult time with them.

The OP also wanted to know if anyone else has trouble utilizing techniques they enjoy reading. And, is that difficulty a bad thing?

Does anyone else have this issue or with some other writing skill you can't seem to grasp? And is this really a bad thing?

Please, let's not derail the OP's request for advice by sidetracking into the "rules vs. no rules" debate (when no one is touting "rules" to begin with) just because advice has been offered. The OP has requested help from the membership on an issue they feel exists with how they currently write, and how they want to write.

 

[AnneL]

Xitra_Blud, when you say you suck at similes, do you mean you have trouble integrating them into your writing or that you have trouble thinking of effective ones? Or both?

 

[Caged Maiden]

One thing I try to keep in mind, is what the character would think. So, keeping both context and character in mind, I'd advise really using them sparingly. I love similies too and use them often. Here are some of them (not sure they're all similies, but whatever, they're comparisons anyways):

With the smooth confidence of a fox in a henhouse, the old man kept his tone even. “If you want to avenge your friend’s death, I will help you.”

When he pressed the tincture to her tender skin, she yelped like a kicked dog.

Her raspy voice cut the sweet music like a dull knife put to warm bread.

She forced an awkward laugh, finding little humor in her toast. She would have cut off her right arm to go back twenty years, to a time when the world seemed so full of hope and wonder, before corruption had spread like a disease through the churches, institutions and government of Kanassa.

Angelo took a step closer, his size and presence looming over Daniela like a dark cloud preceding a vicious storm.

The pressure carried Rafe like a leaf in a river, fighting to keep his balance.

“This city is like a chessboard, with the church lining up on one side, across from men who support the doge’s law.

Daniela felt like a gray goose in a pen of peacocks, next to the table of women dressed in bounteous finery.

Every step toward his bedroom felt like an inch closer to the predictable, tragic ending of a play.

Rafe trudged home after a long day, the evening air picking at his coat like a dueling opponent, scoring nick after nick.

The front door flew open, banging against the wall. She froze like a rabbit listening to baying hounds.

 

[Xitra_Blud]

Xitra_Blud, when you say you suck at similes, do you mean you have trouble integrating them into your writing or that you have trouble thinking of effective ones? Or both?

It think it's trouble thinking of effective ones.

 

[AnneL]

So here are my thoughts, FWIW:

1) Similes are often not necessary. Plain language will frequently do the job, and similes can very easily tip into parody or cliche. A little goes a long way. I wouldn't use a simile for the sake of using a simile except for exercise or experimentation. But, since you want to play with them, then:

2) If you don't already, read some poetry and some fiction that is not fantasy. For poetry, I like W.B. Yeats (especially his earlier, kind of magical stuff) and Denise Levertov. R.S. Thomas is also good. For straight prose, Cormac McCarthy, if you can hack the violence. *Blood Meridian* has some amazing descriptions. Also, the master of simile is Homer, who goes on for lines and lines and lines in The Iliad about what a warrior or battle was like.

3) Train your senses. Notice textures, light, color, the way things move, sounds, shapes. The more you notice, the more material your imagination has to put together into interesting images. There was a beech tree I used to live near with bark that looked a lot like an elephant's skin, but I never would have made the comparison if I hadn't seen an actual elephant.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

 

[skip.knox]

I keep reading this as Terrible with Smiles. Might have to spring for reading glasses.

My favorite simile fountain is Raymond Chandler. His are not only evocative, he seemed to know how to use them in exactly the right places.

 

[Svrtnsse]

[...] Plain language will frequently do the job, and similes can very easily tip into parody or cliche. A little goes a long way. [...]

This is something of a concern of mine. I really enjoy using similes and metaphors and I like to think I come up with pretty clever ones. The difficulty lies with determining when I'm overdoing it and when I'm getting it right. I don't think underdoing it is an issue (anyone?).
What I'm thinking is that overdoing the similes will have an effect opposite that of using to many adverbs. You overload the reader on impressions of what something is like, but you're not really showing them what it actually is. Sometimes a forest can be an endless host of green pillars standing sentry against wind and time. Sometimes a forest is a bunch of trees.

I think I may be overly concerned though. I went through my wip to try and find some similes as example expecting to find tons, but there really weren't that many.

Like the train, the road went eastwards, with the plains to the north and the forest to the south. Unlike the train the road twisted and turned as it wound its way along the edge of the forest. [...] The plain came all the way up to the road and the forest began right away on the other side, like some rugged coastline.

I feel pretty happy with that one; likening the contrast between plain and forest to that between sea and cliffs.


Later in the same paragraph I came across something else that's slightly related:

Here and there out on the plain old sheds and barns could be seen and every now and then they passed little cottages snuggled up among the trees near the road.

I'm going to let my ignorance and inexperience shine through and ask if there's a term for doing this kind of thing? Cottages are inanimate physical objects - they can't snuggled. Still, the word works great in this context and everyone(?) gets the idea. In a later scene I'm mentioning a small stream that "giggles" as it flows down the hillside the road leads up.

I like that kind of thing too. I guess it's not exactly a simile, but it's related isn't it?

 

[Ireth]

Later in the same paragraph I came across something else that's slightly related:

I'm going to let my ignorance and inexperience shine through and ask if there's a term for doing this kind of thing? Cottages are inanimate physical objects - they can't snuggled. Still, the word works great in this context and everyone(?) gets the idea. In a later scene I'm mentioning a small stream that "giggles" as it flows down the hillside the road leads up.

I like that kind of thing too. I guess it's not exactly a simile, but it's related isn't it?

I think the term you're looking for there is personification.

 

[Svrtnsse]

I think the term you're looking for there is personification.

That simple? I guess I should have figured that out on my own. Thanks.

 

[AnneL]

An arguement could be made that personification is a specific form of metaphor.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

What I'm thinking is that overdoing the similes will have an effect opposite that of using to many adverbs. You overload the reader on impressions of what something is like, but you're not really showing them what it actually is. Sometimes a forest can be an endless host of green pillars standing sentry against wind and time. Sometimes a forest is a bunch of trees.

Yes, I'd say that's right for the most part. However, I do think there are times when metaphors, and similes in particular, are needed to describe images and concepts that may be difficult to describe with straightforward language. In those instances, the use of simile shines because the author can direct a reader's mind toward picturing a close representation of the image they're trying to convey by comparing it to something the reader can easily envision, from a more common experience.

For example, it's not hard for a reader to picture a forest, or a line of trees. However, going back to my first example, trying to describe something dark & alive, moving within deep, almost as dark shadow, well that's a bit more challenging. It's these types of descriptions where I think similes can be more effective than straight up description.

That's just my view on it, of course. I hope I explained that clearly as these aren't the easiest concepts to get across.

 

[Svrtnsse]

For example, it's not hard for a reader to picture a forest, or a line of trees. However, going back to my first example, trying to describe something dark & alive, moving within deep, almost as dark shadow, well that's a bit more challenging. It's these types of descriptions where I think similes can be more effective than straight up description.

I get what you mean. Use the right tool for the right task.
The difficulty - to me - isn't coming up with the similes but to decide when to use them. I think at the moment I'm erring on the side of caution and I'm using them sparingly, but rather that than the other way around. It's the kind of thing I'll get the hang of over time. What you mention about using them for things that are difficult to picture at a glance is probably a good rule of thumb though.

Another danger I can see with using similes and metaphors is that it's easy to get attached to them. They become your little special phrases that you're really proud over and want to show off, making it harder to cut them out if they need to be cut. Again, something to get used to over time.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

What you mention about using them for things that are difficult to picture at a glance is probably a good rule of thumb though.

That, and maybe when you want to draw the reader's attention to a particular description. I think simile can effectively engage a reader's mind because it draws on their own, real life experience. So, if you want to emphasize something because it's important, like your forest line for instance, a simile or metaphor could be used to good effect.

I think you're right though, the key is to consciously use them to good effect and that effect is likely more powerful if delivered sparingly. For me, it's hard to avoid writing them because I think they're fun...but that's what revision is for.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Metaphors and similes are both symbols, as are words themselves, and the word choices we make are fraught with subtle meaning. It's as basic, and as complex, as the difference between the words "explaining" and "justifying." Both do the job of conveying information, but they do it in very different, and loaded, ways.