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blog Writing in the Wake of a Tragedy

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Writing in the Wake of a Tragedy
by A.L.S. Vossler

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Writing has always been a source of joy for me, and a source of tremendous frustration. But when I successfully published my first book, it was all joy and happiness. I got my first shipment of books on December 23rd, 2017. It was the most exciting thing I have ever held in my hands. I texted a picture of the box of books to my parents, and both of them texted me back about how they were so excited for me. But I was busy because of the fact that I had to go to New Jersey to visit my husband’s family and attend his brother’s wedding, so I forgot to reply.

I never replied to those texts.

But it was okay, because I would see them after we got back from New Jersey to celebrate Christmas with them during Epiphany. I would give them signed copies of the book I wrote that they were itching to read. I would give my dad the silly t-shirt I had bought him and my mom the necklace I had made for her.

It was okay that I didn’t reply, because I was busy and didn’t need to immediately. After all, I had made plans with my mom the day before. Nothing else needed to be said.

Tragedy Strikes

At 1 AM Eastern time on the 28th, while I was comfortably settled in bed at my in-laws’ house, I was ripped out of sleep by the sound of my phone going...
Continue reading the Original Blog Post.
 

ThinkerX

Myth Weaver
My fathers health took a turn for the worse almost two years ago. Christmas, 2016, he wasn't in his usual armchair throne in the living room, dispensing presents to my mob of quasi relatives - instead, he was sick in bed. At that point, I realized he wasn't going to see another Christmas. But, what could I do? I am no doctor, plus I work full time. So, I hoped my assessment was wrong, and kept writing.

First drafts of the principle WIP's were completed, so I focused on rewrites and various novellas that had been bubbling away for a while.

At times, I held out hope he'd recover. Then, I visited the homestead on a warm (for Alaska) summer day and found a passel of quasi-relatives enjoying the sun - and Dad, inside, wrapped in a blanket. Things started downhill from there: visits to the doctors revealed troublesome issues, and at one point I was hunting on the internet for medical equipment for him. That October, Dad reached the point to where he could barely stand at all - and I was distracted enough to where my writing cratered. NaNo was a disaster.

We had a family get-together that Thanksgiving...and Dad died a few weeks later. My already weak writing mojo died along with him.

Boredom and a persnickety desire to finish the assorted WIP's drove me back to the keyboard - but progress was painfully slow. Still, I made incremental progress for a time - then what was supposed to be a relatively routine operation on me revealed serious underlying issues. Wrestling with that and the fallout from Dad's death put another crimp in my writing mojo, one I am just starting to recover from. Current goal is to finish the two WIP series and selected other works.
 

Sheilawisz

Queen of Titania
Moderator
Hello A.L.S. Vossler and congratulations for a most excellent article!

It has been one of my favorite articles ever published in Mythic Scribes, and I am not exaggerating at all as I write this. I can relate to your words and the feelings that you have described, and I felt touched enough to take some time and write a good comment for you.

First of all, I want to say that I am truly saddened and very sorry about the terrible tragedy that you and your sisters suffered.

My case is different to yours, you see. My life (actually I refuse to call this broken mess life but let's call it that for now) has meant tons of hardship and suffering for me, since many years ago. Very often I find myself wishing that somebody had murdered me when I was little, so I would not be "alive" today facing so much misery and pain. I also indulge in many other dark thoughts, and self-harm happens every now and then.

You can think of me as a ghastly soul lost very far from home, happiness and light.

I have many personal mechanisms to somehow keep walking on this Earth, but the most important of them all is my writing of stories!

To me, Imagination is Magic and Stories are great Friends. I find great fun, pleasure and relief when I imagine and write my stories, and also this brings me a very special kind of personal satisfaction that I cannot get anywhere else. Without imagination and the writing of my stories, I would simply take that final step and end my misery once and for all.

Writing is not just therapeutic, it soothes my pain like the best medicine and helps me to survive.

Sometimes, I have been crying and sobbing in pain and still the narrative comes to me. Words just flow and flow, and it's a wonderful feeling like a candle in the darkest of all nights. I often curse my various misfortunes and agony in this world, and yet I believe that without all the pain and demons inside I would not be quite the same person and the same author that I am.

My stories would be totally different if I was one of those happy-life people, so in certain way I enjoy my darkness.

Just think of Alice Sebold and how she was inspired to write The Lovely Bones after the terrible experience that happened to her. Many great writers in world history have been tormented lost souls, so it really seems that hardships are sent to us for a good reason.

Hugs!

S.W.
 

Chessie2

Staff
Article Team
Hi. You are strong. It comes across in your words. I'm sorry you've gone through so much heartache, really enjoyed reading your article. Take care.
 

Black Dragon

Staff
Administrator
I'm very sad to learn that A.L.S. Vossler, the author of this article, passed away last week. Amy had written several articles for Mythic Scribes over the years, and she will be missed by our community.

She was also an active member of our forums, where she posted under the name deilaitha.

May her memory be eternal.
 

Sheilawisz

Queen of Titania
Moderator
Well I never interacted a lot with Amy here in Mythic Scribes, but the awful news have impacted me anyway.

I just visited her website in which she was talking about hopes for a happy 2019, and writing the next book in her series and other aspects of her life and now she's gone. Just think about it, one day we can be alive and planning for the future and the next day it's all over. I am sad and very sorry about this tragedy, may God help Amy's loved ones with their grief and pain and give them the strength to continue with their lives.

I am so sorry Amy, and I just wish that right now you are reunited with your loving parents in a beautiful place.

We should create an official Mythic Scribes Memorial for her.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
I had not read this article until tonight because I've been busy, but then ten days ago I lost my mother. I've been wandering around in a numb haze, not able to make any progress on any project because the woman who taught me to write is gone. I'm facing my first Christmas without either of my parents, my dad having passed away last August. Finally, I remembered that I had seen this header and decided to read. Maybe it could help.

The article was beautifully written and I think it will help me sort things out in due time. But I am absolutely gutted and just wish that she had been able to reach out. That she had been able to believe that she had options. Depression lies to us, and we believe it.
 

ThinkerX

Myth Weaver
I had not read this article until tonight because I've been busy, but then ten days ago I lost my mother. I've been wandering around in a numb haze, not able to make any progress on any project because the woman who taught me to write is gone. I'm facing my first Christmas without either of my parents, my dad having passed away last August. Finally, I remembered that I had seen this header and decided to read. Maybe it could help.

The article was beautifully written and I think it will help me sort things out in due time. But I am absolutely gutted and just wish that she had been able to reach out. That she had been able to believe that she had options. Depression lies to us, and we believe it.
Been there. My Dad died a year ago December 17th. Since then, writing has been a long, slow, hard process.
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
This was heart-wrenching to read, and I regret not having read it earlier. It was beautiful and raw, and although it may be too late, I would still like to thank you for writing and sharing it Amy.
 
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