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My Biggest Obstacle...

This is something I have been struggling with for a long time now. Every time I write, no matter what it is, I am always displeased with it. Every time I go back and edit it and try to prettify it, I dislike it. Even when I completely delete it and start again anew and fresh I still am unhappy with the outcome. It took me awhile to figure out why, and I think I found the answer.

I think it's the style I write in. Now some of you might be asking, "Well, what style do you write in Androxine?" Well, modern style to be honest. The ideas I have in my head are grand and epic and I'm sure all of your stories seem grand and epic in your minds too. But when I write it down on paper, I always feel like the words do not live up to the expectations. My expectations.

I love reading modernized stories such as my warhammer 40k novels (Malus Darkblade Vol. 1 being my all time fav) Harry Potter, Game of Thrones (* waves hand in a shakey motion "ehhh") and some LOTR (I say some because I got tired of a song every two pages) For a long time I have tried to write in the style of these books, not to confuse you by saying I want to copy these styles. But day after day after day after day, I just can't seem to do it. Now some of you might say, "Well you're (fairly) new to this so you have much to learn." Yes I agree 120% on that point. But here's the thing: I'm not enjoying it.

The reason why I wanted to become a author is because of my grandfather. When I was a boy, I would visit him three or four times a week. We would sit in the backyard and make books together. When I didn't know how to read or write I would tell him my ideas and he would write it down and draw pictures. He would then teach me how to read them. I thought books were fascinating inventions because they could capture my imagination. I really enjoyed writing books. This is the core reason why I have wanted to be an author. Not for fame or money, but because I love to. Yeah fame and money is always preferable but it's not my motivation.

That being said (moving back to my earlier point) I could not figure out what i was doing wrong. Everything I wrote I hated and I would have five different novels by five different authors laid out before me trying to compare and analyze. But then it sort of dawned on me why I might be struggling so much with this, and as to why I am not finding that passion I once had. I think it's because I'm not writing with my true voice.

I absolutely love reading epic poems. The Odyssey is probably my favorite. I love this style of writing. I once (for fun) in high school made a collection of stories of a fictional pantheon I created written in this old epic style. I don't know what you would call it but it would sound like something out of the Holy Bible, the format it is written. Not all "thou shalt" and that but in that general old language style. I love those stories (I wish I hadn't have lost them) and loved the style I wrote them in. When I wrote in that style, I did so with passion and pride, much like I did when I was a kid discovering the magical instrument of the pencil. It seems now when I write it is a chore. I'm writing in the style now that all modern literary culture deems acceptable, and even encouraged. But the style I feel as an author I would be more happy writing in is deemed as a big bag of poopy (couldn't think of an elegant way to put it)

I don't know if it's because I feel intimidated in writing a novel in general. It is an intimidating task, I'm sure everyone member here would agree. All I know is that I am not enjoying writing as it is. My work never lives up to my expectations and while some might say I have to lower my expectations, I feel conflicted in doing so because to me that would feel like taking a shortcut. I'm at a pivotal crossroad here. I feel like if I chose to write in the style I believe I would enjoy the most, my chances of getting published will be butchered, even though getting millions of copies sold isn't my main goal. However, I understand that I am a very, very, very slow writer and am afraid I will waste (not spend) so much time trying to create something that no matter how I try to shape it, I will always look at it and be displeased, just so that the public would find it more acceptable.

I could use any advice you can give. I really do appreciate every opinion on this forum. I have to think about this for awhile too.
 

AnnaBlixt

Minstrel
Sounds like a classic writer's block to me.

I had a long period of those. Like 5 years when I couldn't write anything.

I finally got back to it by going back to a notepad and an actual pencil. From there, I brought my laptop to the garden, away from the distractions of the TV and Internet. Little by little, I got back up.

Also, it really helped me to publish. I self-published a novel and got a lot of feedback on it. If other people read your work, they will become your mirror and find the flaws that are actual flaws, and give you the credit you deserve for the good bits. Get a good mirror! And get some outside opinions if you get stuck on your own.

When I self-published my book, it was in part because I wanted to free myself from it. If it was published and done, I would be able to move on and write something totally different. I was going to write steampunk. But lo and behold, if a publisher didn't find me and wanted to re-publish the book as well as its sequel. So it didn't turn out exactly as I planned, but publishing it would either way have been the turning point for me. With the script done, I would be able to move on.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
My work never lives up to my expectations and while some might say I have to lower my expectations, I feel conflicted in doing so because to me that would feel like taking a shortcut.
You shouldn't lower your expectations. Grand expectations can drive a person to greatness. What you should do is adopt a realistic understanding of the work involved. You're honestly comparing your early work to masters like Tolkein, Rowling, & Martin? Keep those lofty expectations but realize that it takes a lot of critique, editing, & revision on a single piece to make it a good story. I'm not just talking about the countless hours it takes to become a decent writer, I'm talking about the work after you've become proficient...the work involved in turning out good stories.

"Books aren't written - they're rewritten... It is one of the hardest things to accept." - Michael Crichton

I'm at a pivotal crossroad here. I feel like if I chose to write in the style I believe I would enjoy the most, my chances of getting published will be butchered, even though getting millions of copies sold isn't my main goal. However, I understand that I am a very, very, very slow writer and am afraid I will waste (not spend) so much time trying to create something that no matter how I try to shape it, I will always look at it and be displeased, just so that the public would find it more acceptable.
You might not want to hear this next bit... You're likely a long way off from discovering your own authorial voice. Most times, authors discover voice by emulating or attempting to copy writers they admire. Over time, and with mounting failures, they come across their own true voice.

Here's the thing... If writing in a style, that some consider obsolete, moves you...then do it! Practicing in that style may well move you closer to finding your actual voice. Your voice may turn out to be a fresh blend of modern and dated... Who knows? Point is, don't stress too much about making it all happen now. You say you understand that there are no shortcuts. That applies to everything in writing. The only thing you can do is sit your butt down in that chair and write. Write in different styles, POVs, genres, whatever.... Just write. As long as you don't quit you'll find your way.

If writing in this dated style makes you happy and keeps you from quitting then do it. Not quitting is the most important aspect of improving as a writer. Nothing else exists without it.

"Writing is most of all an exercise in determination." - Tom Clancy
 
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Sinitar

Minstrel
Hmm, this is something that continues to haunt me to this day too. Have I managed to get past it? I don't know. But this thread is about you, so less focus on me.

I think you are a bit of a perfectionist; you read an awesome book, then expect your stories to have the same quality afterwards. The sentences, the paragraphs and the descriptions from that book are still fresh in your mind, right? Surely you can come up with something equally worthy of praise. Unfortunately, it doesn't work this way, and here's why.

Those books that we so much love went through a good number of revisions. GRR Martin didn't just write the King's Landing chapters, with all that pretentious description and the countless names of knights, hedge knights and nobles, in one go. He took his time to refine them, and that's the heart of it: What you are looking at is the result of several drafts, where the author simply improved existing layers. As somebody who is just writing the first draft, you will never, ever, get close to that quality. Accept it and move on, as there is nothing wrong with it.

What you need is practice. Tons and tons of practice. Replicating a style isn't going to work, as there will always be a part of you that prefers to 'leave its mark' in one way or another. That's why you should focus more on discovering and improving your own writing style. If you want, you can always add some influences from other authors, like a manner of speech for your characters or a convenient way to describe clothes, but don't overdo it.

Also, I strongly recommend you that you take everything you hear with a grain of salt. What people provide over the internet are suggestions only. Don't take the words of famous authors or their works as a staple.
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
As said above don't lower your standards but rather temper your reactions to your results. I have high expectations of my writing. To me if my writing can't match up to (insert awesome author here) then I have something to strive for, room to get better. BUT I don't beat myself up over it. I focus on getting better. I don't worry about failing (too much) because if I'm not failing at least a little, then I'm not trying hard enough. Learn from your failures. You're never good enough until you are. And even then, there's room to get better.

I've heard professional authors say the stories that end up on the page are never as good as the ideas in their head. Never. For myself, that's held true for the most part. But I find that the more I write and learn about writing, try and fail, the end results on the page creep closer and closer to the ideas in my head.

As for voice, I'd say write naturally. Say things as simply as possible. BUT allow yourself to be influenced. Nothing wrong with stealing ingredients from other authors. The trick I think is to make sure it tastes good mixed in with your stew and you won't know until you try the ingredient out and play with them.

If you want to write something in an old style voice, why not try it out in a short story first, or several short stories, and build up a comfort level with that style before going for something big? It's an opportunity to to play with style.

But in the end IMHO I'd rather go down in flames loving every minute instead of hating it. And if I'm going down in flames, it's not going to be a small little puff of flame. It's going to be a extinction level fireball scorching the skies.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
Another favorite quote I like to keep in mind for those times when I think about the possibilities of failure....

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor." - Truman Capote
 

Yellow

Minstrel
There's little I could add to the great encouragement that's here already, but I'd like to do an analogy with juggling. Ever seen those super duper awesome jugglers who can keep 7 or 8 balls in the air without breaking their concentrations for a single seccond? They all started throwing two or three balls around and spending more time picking them up than actualy juggling. If they had started by trying to do 7 or 8, they would have never managed anything, and they would have most likely quit in a rage.
You can't learn to run a marathon if you don't know how to walk. So, keep your high expectations, they make for great creative fuel, but also realistically assess the best way to get from where you are to where you want to be. Start small, but allways keep in mind you want to get big, and strive towards greatness without demanding immediate results that go beyond what you can do. And also, do what YOU enjoy, not what you think others will enjoy. In the end, we all write for ourselves first and foremost.
Also, juggling is awesome.
 
Thank you everyone for your help. I think that my core problem was my lack of faith in myself. I thought that maybe trying to write in a different style and using fancy words would make my stories great. But reading my favorite novel earlier, I noticed how the author doesn't have to use fancy words or out dated writing styles to make his novel sound grand and epic. I'm going to take a break from writing maybe I just need a little rest from it, I was getting a little stressed out. And sinitar makes a great point that the first drafts aren't going to be spectacular. That's why when I write I'm only going to take it small steps at a time rather than tackling it all head on and expecting it to be gold.

Thanks again everyone for your always encouraging support!!!
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
Thank you everyone for your help. I think that my core problem was my lack of faith in myself. I thought that maybe trying to write in a different style and using fancy words would make my stories great. But reading my favorite novel earlier, I noticed how the author doesn't have to use fancy words or out dated writing styles to make his novel sound grand and epic. I'm going to take a break from writing maybe I just need a little rest from it, I was getting a little stressed out. And sinitar makes a great point that the first drafts aren't going to be spectacular. That's why when I write I'm only going to take it small steps at a time rather than tackling it all head on and expecting it to be gold.

Thanks again everyone for your always encouraging support!!!

Part of your comments are right on the money. Another concerns me...

I'd urge you not to take a break. You won't get better if you're not writing...even just a little bit of writing, each & everyday, is more productive and will yield greater improvement that writing a lot in binges of happenstance inspiration.

Try to approach writing with a discipline geared toward small, manageable chunks. Instead of not writing for awhile, try committing to writing 250 words a day.

Ever hear of an author named Chuck Palahniuk? No?... Have you seen the movie Fight Club? Well he wrote that story...in small manageable chunks....during his lunch breaks...while he worked his day job.

You can do it to. Learn to make small, achievable, & SUSTAINABLE goals. That's how you'll get better. It adds up if you have the discipline to honor your commitment to those small goals. I think you'll find they add up rather quickly.
 
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C

Chessie

Guest
True, writing a bit each day will cater to you in the long run vs not writing at all. Besides, its what you love...so why take a break from it? :) Everyone starts somewhere and these famous authors were all in our shoes when they started out.

No one writes brilliant novels from the womb, its a process. If the desire burns, you can achieve it!
 

Sinitar

Minstrel
Thank you everyone for your help. I think that my core problem was my lack of faith in myself. I thought that maybe trying to write in a different style and using fancy words would make my stories great. But reading my favorite novel earlier, I noticed how the author doesn't have to use fancy words or out dated writing styles to make his novel sound grand and epic. I'm going to take a break from writing maybe I just need a little rest from it, I was getting a little stressed out. And sinitar makes a great point that the first drafts aren't going to be spectacular. That's why when I write I'm only going to take it small steps at a time rather than tackling it all head on and expecting it to be gold.

Thanks again everyone for your always encouraging support!!!

Actually, I only started writing again 2 days ago because I faced a similar issue. With english not being my mother tongue, I was always fascinated by pompous descriptions, detailed combat scenes and intricate word weaving to describe a character's reactions or clothing. When I tried to apply the same treatment to my writing, it only sounded pretentious and some paragraphs made no sense. At all. The way I used to write in the beginning was better than my new and improved writing!

However, after reading more books and stories posted by other people, I came to realize that the key to good writing is to keep it simple, relevant, and to the point. What use is there to write a descriptive paragraph about how the sky looks when your characters are about to fight each other? Why abuse thesaurus when the words that we use daily hold the same power?

I urge you not to stop and to keep writing, even if it's only a mere 500 words a day. A break will only feed your fears, and the more you stay away from writing, the harder it is to get back. Why? Because even your bad stories will look fine after a month passes :) The key is to stay away from the 'sizable chunks' and go for the ones that you can chew, like a scene, a short story, and so on. The more you finish, the better you fill feel.
 

Rullenzar

Troubadour
First and foremost, the most important thing you need to do is find out what your personal style is. You listed a few books but each one has a different style of writing. So to try and write like all of them won't work. You need to discover what style your comfortable with and what works for your particular style of story telling. Once you have that figured out I guarantee things will flow smoother.

The second thing that will help you is expanding your vocabulary or having some tools near you like a thesaurus/dictionary etc to help you find the words your looking for. Too many fresh authors are too worried about being just as good on draft one as a seasoned author. This will never happen. The seasoned authors go through much stress and many steps to get their finished product and story to where it is when it hits store shelves. Much revision/editing/rewriting goes into all the books we know and love. And this is what makes them spectacular. The time and effort put into making it extraordinary really shows.

When you sit down and write out your first draft the expression you want is a mixture of joy and displeasure. Joy for having your story finally out on paper. Displeasure for it not being up to your standards which will happen to everyone. This is where second-fifth drafts come into play. This is where you start tweaking what you already have and shaping it into that extraordinary you imagined in your head.
 

Addison

Auror
Try writing it from a different Person. If it's a third person, either zoom in or out from the character, or switch to first. Heck try writing the story from a different character's pov. Works like magic for me. And reading, lots. :)
 
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