aftermath of rape

[Caged Maiden]

In a scene two of my characters are imprisoned, interrogated and tortured. The madman responsible chains the male MC and then rapes the female MC, (someone he isn't in love with). After they make their escape, there is an extensive scene where they are healing in a safe place, and I was wondering... How would he be affected? I am portraying him as alright dealing with the blood and anguish part but making him awkward about the rape bit, because I just think it's a more difficult thing for a man to deal with. Any suggestions? I'm only asking because I don't want to be portraying a pretty capable guy as a wimp over something that maybe he wouldn't be sensitive to, but I feel like in my experiences, men tend to be less strong than women when confronted by women's issues, only because of their not knowing. Can anyone lend some insight about how a strong, capable man might feel in this situation? He's pretty much solely responsible for her care while she's convalescing.

 

[Caged Maiden]

In case it matters, he's a shape-shifter and completely healed after the ordeal, while she is suffering from blood loss and dehydration and very weak. So he's not concerned for his own health at that point.

 

[Alex97]

It goes without saying that this is a very difficult situation to deal with. My guesses would be that he would try and adress the issue but not directly. Maybe he should try and console her and talk about what happned but sort of avoid talking about the rape. He could tell her that it's not her fault as in this sort of situation she could blame herself. He might even feel responseible for it and apologize.

Also I would suggest working on the phycological pain after she is physically healed since she is probably to weak to think about what happned if she is really ill.

Hope that helped

 

[ascanius]

umm.. I can tell you that I would have a hard time dealing with it, not the blood and physical problems, but more of the emotional ones. I am guessing that she doesn't really want to have anything to do with a male at that point, so I would be at a loss if I should try to comfort her, leave her alone. Bleeding, dehydration are problems I could try to fix or help alleviate to some extent, get water, shelter and what not. On the emotional side I would want to fix the problem and get frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it, or anything to help. I would be out of my depth and wouldn't know what to do. The physical stuff I could deal with, there is a problem and I know the solution. It would be how she looked at me a male, the distrust, emotional pain, and all that, that would be the hardest for me simply because I don't know the answer to the problem or what to do. But this is just me. I don't really know about everyone else.

 

[Ankari]

What the the two MCs relationship? If I were the male and a close female got raped in my immediate surroundings I would be burdened by such guilt I would have a hard time living with it. I would comb every moment of my imprisonment seeking a moment where I could have done something but didn't. I would have a hard time looking the female MC in the eye and be very uncomfortable with her alone. I would be burning with the need to right this wrong in some way.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Thank you all so much. That's pretty much exactly what I have done, but I started to question it when I thought maybe he'd be a little less sensitive and I didn't want a male reader to think I made him wimpy.

Like I said in my post, this is how the men I've known in my life would act, but then I wondered whether it was too sympathetic for the hard world in which the characters live.

While she is convalescing he is gentle and tries to be sensitive, but distant as well, because he's deeply wounded by how cruelly she was treated, and blames himself (because the whole time the two were tortured, he had the information their captor wanted).

In a future scene when she's begging him not to bring up the dungeon he unloads in a sort of angry way how burdened he's been, and reveals how he's thought over every action he took.

Sometimes it's hard to write how a man feels about things. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've known a lot of great guys in my life (and some not so great ones) but this just isn't something I've asked a lot of people. Though I feel comfortable writing the events from a woman's perspective, I just wanted some feedback as to whether I've turned him into a wimp because of his deep feelings over the matter or whether those feelings are completely normal, even to a strong, solid, not squeamish guy like my MC.

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad I asked. I've been thinking about this all day.

 

[Rikilamaro]

I have an opinion, but I'm not a guy. Does that matter

Seriously though, from my experience most men will feel responsible for the rape - especially if they were present and unable to stop it. It leads to a feeling of demasculinization. I also looked this up in my psychiatric nursing book for you because you made me think. They say that there is often a lot of guilt associated in these situations - transference of the attacker's act onto the man in question. The victim may or may not experience that, but the innocent man often will.

So hope that helps a tiny bit.

 

[Steerpike]

As you are already aware, this will vary a great deal depending on the character. I can see men having a very wide range of reactions in this situation, ranging from ignoring it completely to trying too hard to address the issue when it isn't necessarily wanted.

I do think there may be some awkwardness or hesitancy because of the fact that it is a woman's issue that he won't be able to relate to, but this assumes first of all that he has enough empathy to come to that realization. I think you should proceed in the way you are already headed. You know the character best, and if that feels right to you it will probably feel right to the reader.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Yeah the thing is... he could have stopped it, so that's why I'm making it eat at him so much. He's a shape-shifter and could have gone all werewolf and ripped the place apart, but it's against all the laws he lives by to do it. So there's that element too. It all comes out later, don't worry.

Also, I felt pretty comfortable making her bounce back. I know not every woman would, but I'd like to think she's glad to be alive more than traumatized (I mean, she was a prostitute and assassin). I think I'm a pretty tough person, though. The worst thing about these sorts of things is that the victim is often more capable of dealing with their own feelings, but the witness has a much harder time. Thanks for weighing-in Riki. Every suggestion helps that much more!

 

[Steerpike]

Yeah the thing is... he could have stopped it, so that's why I'm making it eat at him so much. He's a shape-shifter and could have gone all werewolf and ripped the place apart, but it's against all the laws he lives by to do it. So there's that element too. It all comes out later, don't worry.

I hear you. That's understandable - I do think it would eat at him.

I did try to approach this subject with a friend who was raped, out of concern for her well-being. It was clear very quickly that she didn't want to discuss it. She was polite about it, but not at all interested in talking so I dropped it. How she reacts may well dictate how he proceeds. And if she blames him at all for not stopping it that could make for some interesting conflict.

 

[Caged Maiden]

@Steerpike, sorry I was responding to riki as to the guilt of not being able to stop it. Thank you for your words. I'm all over the conflict between these characters. They're a volatile pair, which makes it even more fun for me.

 

[Steerpike]

@Steerpike, sorry I was responding to riki as to the guilt of not being able to stop it. Thank you for your words. I'm all over the conflict between these characters. They're a volatile pair, which makes it even more fun for me.

Sounds good, anihow. I'm interested in hearing how it come out.

 

[Sinitar]

He's a shape-shifter and could have gone all werewolf and ripped the place apart, but it's against all the laws he lives by to do it. So there's that element too. It all comes out later, don't worry.

If beliefs are more important to him than preventing that heinous act, I don't see why he would be so affected by it. He made a choice, the one he deemed right, even though he was probably aware of the outcome. If so, his main inner conflict would revolve around the choice he made, and the female MC can play a part in it by suggesting that faith does not always provide the appropriate answer.

Without knowing the story, I can't offer an accurate answer. However, the key element that you have to keep in mind is that he had a choice. Between this and powerlessness lies a great chasm.

 

[Aidan of the tavern]

Well, I don't know what the official effects would be, but if I was in his place (I should point out I'm not hugely strong or capable) I would feel confused, after all its a very psychological thing. I feel uncertain how to help her, but become very protective of her. He would probably feel a certain amount of guilt, either for simply sharing gender with her attacker, or being unable to prevent it, possibly both, a lot of hate towards the attacker. I think it would be one of those "I should have been able to do something" moments. Basically I think his masculinity would kick in leaving him really sympathetic and protective for her and wanting to help, but without knowing at all what to do. Thats just speculation on my part though, sorry if thats already been covered.

 

[Helen]

In a scene two of my characters are imprisoned, interrogated and tortured. The madman responsible chains the male MC and then rapes the female MC, (someone he isn't in love with). After they make their escape, there is an extensive scene where they are healing in a safe place, and I was wondering... How would he be affected? I am portraying him as alright dealing with the blood and anguish part but making him awkward about the rape bit, because I just think it's a more difficult thing for a man to deal with. Any suggestions? I'm only asking because I don't want to be portraying a pretty capable guy as a wimp over something that maybe he wouldn't be sensitive to, but I feel like in my experiences, men tend to be less strong than women when confronted by women's issues, only because of their not knowing. Can anyone lend some insight about how a strong, capable man might feel in this situation? He's pretty much solely responsible for her care while she's convalescing.

That in itself is a great idea for a story.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Well thank you. It's only the beginning of their adventure (Chapters 3-6) but they're a pair of really strong and yet weak characters, and I had a good time breaking them down only to let them find happiness and self-acceptance and love in the end.

 

[Amanita]

He's a shape-shifter and could have gone all werewolf and ripped the place apart, but it's against all the laws he lives by to do it.

If I were in the position of the female character this would this would cause severe problems in our relationship. At least as long as there are no very good reasons not to break those laws. I don't think I could believe that such a person cares for me and I wouldn't want him around if there were any choice. It would feel to me as if he had been aware of the fact that he wouldn't get hurt severely and heal easily and didn't care about the fact that his wouldn't be the case with me.
If there wasn't any, I'd tolerate this but wouldn't trust him anymore.
Your character shouldn't act like I would of course but the way it fits her personality but I think you should consider what this situation will do to her.

 

[Caged Maiden]

If I were in the position of the female character this would this would cause severe problems in our relationship. At least as long as there are no very good reasons not to break those laws. I don't think I could believe that such a person cares for me and I wouldn't want him around if there were any choice. It would feel to me as if he had been aware of the fact that he wouldn't get hurt severely and heal easily and didn't care about the fact that his wouldn't be the case with me.
If there wasn't any, I'd tolerate this but wouldn't trust him anymore.
Your character shouldn't act like I would of course but the way it fits her personality but I think you should consider what this situation will do to her.

Yeah it's tricky because he accidentally gets captured with her. She's the target, and they actually despise each other. Then when they go to the dungeon together, he's tortured separately, while she's interrogated. Secretly, he is a shifter, and secretly he knows the information that the madman wants, but really CAN'T give it up, (really a question of loyalty to his god), so he's wrestling with a lot and sort of shuts down within himself in the dungeon. After the rape, he gets knocked out and when he wakes up, he decides he's going to break out since she's there with him and he can save them both. Problem is they don't let anyone live whose witnessed the change, so he's going to have to negotiate hard for her life. So that's how I have it as it is. The woman doesn't actually hold anything against the man because she's genuinely happy to be alive. If he hadn't been there, she would have been abused until she was dead, she genuinely didn't have the information the crazy guy wanted.
HOWEVER after she is well, I have a brief exchange between them where they start talking about the future and she wants to know when she can leave. He tells her that they are taking her to this other town to do this thing (sorry I'm being vague, it's just too many details to write). Well anyways, in saying that, he accidentally tells her that he had the information the whole time. That was a fun scene to write; where she gets to confront him about having had the information the whole time.

 

[Ankari]

I am not a female and so please take what I am about to say with a grain of salt:

I would think that a female would be very angry at the male character for what happened to her, especially after you noted that everyone that caused such pain has been killed. I would expect her healing to be a process, one that initially seeks out someone to blame, especially someone who was present and could possibly have prevent the rape. I am not saying their relationship couldn't become romantic later on, but initially she would be extremely angry.

Also for the male I could see him questioning his faith. Whatever law that prohibited him from shapeshifting has to be put in question and has to be a point of friction with this faith. The male would definitely enter a dark period of guilt and doubt.

 

[SeverinR]

No matter what the man is brought up to believe, he will be haunted by what he could have done to prevent the suffering, not of himself, but of another person. One sacrifices their comfort for their beliefs. It is another thing to see an innocent victim being tortured, raped and abused, knowing he could stop/prevent it.

I think he would feel compelled to make her understand why he didn't. Of course, if they still hate each other, why would he care? But when a person's life is depending on you, or the reverse, your life is dependant on someone else helping you, you tend to forget the anger/hatred. Even if you start helping just out of obligation, it changes over time. Not neccesarily a love, but some bond. (Florence Nightingale effect or reverse transference.)