Issues surrounding war rape

[Amanita]

I’m quite aware of the fact that rape is a highly sensitive topic and for good reasons. That’s why I’d like to get your opinions on a plotline in my current story.

About twenty years before my story begins there’s been a war in which a minority of the main character’s people has been driven out of the neighbouring country by violence. Many of these refuges have settled down in the town where my main character has grown up. Their enemies’ tactics included raping as many women as possible because they were aware of the destructive effects this would have on these people’s society.
One of these women who has a son from an enemy soldier is a relatively important side character of my story.

Unmarried women with children are very lowly regarded in their society, therefore she’s been struggling to keep a living all those years. At the time of the story there are quite a few unmarried mothers (and fathers too) in this city because many people have been killed by a chemical disaster. (terrorist attack actually, but this doesn’t really matter here. They believe it’s a disaster.) The main character’s mother is alone as well.
These people have started to work together to improve their situation with the help of one woman with good leading abilities and later a doctor from another town. The city is quite large and therefore many people don’t know what has happened to the refugee women and can’t look at her the wrong way for it. She’s able to keep it from most people she isn’t close too but those do know and the main character’s mother is one of them.
There’s no rape scene, she’s not a viewpoint character and they aren’t talking about any details, but the main character is aware of the fact that this has happened.
In the night of the disaster this woman has witnessed something which makes her believe that is hasn’t been an accident but no one believes her at this point of the story. She is right however and can tell due to other things she’s witnessed during the war.

There are two special issues I have now. The first one is around her son. He’s a sympathetic and quite important character himself and his mother has been able to love him after she’s seen him for the first time despite of the fact that she was raped. I know that this can happen in real life but I’m worried that it might be seen as an anti-abortion stance from my side.
It’s true that I am opposed to having an abortion because it’s “inconvenient” to have a child after consensual sex but I don’t think this way in case of rape or health danger to the mother. In the story, she’s refused this because of language barriers with the medical people offering it to her and the resulting fear that she might never be able to have any other children either.

The second issue concerns my second female main character. She belong to the rapist’s people but has been a child at the time of the war. This character is actually working to improve the relationships between the two nations again, but then she finds out that the rapist of the woman mentioned here was here former mentor.
She’s shocked about the fact that the man who’s taught her harshly but well is a war criminal who freely admits that he has raped, tortured and killed many people during this war and doesn’t regret it. My problem is now: How should she react? Her country does punish these people now and the right thing would surely be to turn him in. He’d lose his powerful position and go into prison for a long time. Turning him in would surely be the right reaction.
To me it feels more likely for her to stay silent however. She believes that he’s not going to harm anyone anymore now and she doesn’t want to drag this matter to the surface and have it discussed everywhere. She doesn’t really want to drag her own side’s guilt in this war into the open. (The character herself has suffered from the measures taken by a third country which joined the war two protect main character 1’s people and more or less sees her own people as the victims. Within her own experience, this is true. Sometimes I understand why people prefer Elves and Orcs. )
Would such a reaction make this character too unlikeable?

The entire issue is quite close to my heart, therefore I really want to deal with it carefully. Something similar might have happened in my own family even though I don’t know. My grandmother used to live in a place now part of Serbia and had to flee from the Red Army at the end of WWII. She never says a word about this at all, but ever since I’ve read about the things that have happened there I’ve been wondering what she has seen or experienced back then.
Back in the nineties with the news coverage of the wars in former Yugoslavia, there’s only been a really strange atmosphere when we’ve seen this on TV at our grandparents. I was six years old and had no idea why, but it’s left quite an impression on me too. That’s probably why this kind of thing is turning up in my story as well even though I do feel that it does fit the story.

 

[Kit]

his mother has been able to love him after she’s seen him for the first time despite of the fact that she was raped. I know that this can happen in real life but I’m worried that it might be seen as an anti-abortion stance from my side.

No. Women who have concieved via rape have many and varied responses to it. This is one such response. If you had 300 women in your story concieve by rape, and every single one of them went on to have this same reaction- with no doubt, no mixed feelings, so angsty soul-searching- THAT might make me think, "It sounds like this author is a naive and sactimonious anti-choice advocate who is pushing hir political agenda via hir fiction." Not that there's anything wrong with that. I certainly present *MY* politics in the most favorable possible light in my fiction. Those who are sufficiently annoyed by it can just stop reading our stuff.

To me it feels more likely for her to stay silent however. She believes that he’s not going to harm anyone anymore now and she doesn’t want to drag this matter to the surface and have it discussed everywhere. She doesn’t really want to drag her own side’s guilt in this war into the open.
Would such a reaction make this character too unlikeable?

Debatable. It sounds like a juicy dilemma. People's reactions to it will differ depending on how strongly they feel that she is wrong to give him a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

I personally would say he doesn't deserve a pass. I'm big on personal responsibility. I would want him to take responsibility for his actions, and I wouldn't want him living next door to me or babysitting my kids, no matter how great a guy he is "except for this one thing". He may not seem dangerous "now" but what if war broke out again- he would do the same thing, right? But that's just me. I would turn him in, but I would certainly angst about it, if I had liked and respected him a lot before finding out.

Because I would react in this way, and not agree with what one of your MC's did, it doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't want to finish your story.

 

[Butterfly]

She’s shocked about the fact that the man who’s taught her harshly but well is a war criminal who freely admits that he has raped, tortured and killed many people during this war and doesn’t regret it. My problem is now: How should she react? Her country does punish these people now and the right thing would surely be to turn him in. He’d lose his powerful position and go into prison for a long time. Turning him in would surely be the right reaction.

To me it feels more likely for her to stay silent however. She believes that he’s not going to harm anyone anymore now and she doesn’t want to drag this matter to the surface and have it discussed everywhere. She doesn’t really want to drag her own side’s guilt in this war into the open.

I think her silence has to be as a result of more than just this.

If as you say she is working to improve the relationship between the two peoples, then that is her guiding motivation. I see two options, but someone else may see others.

1. Something has to come in between the knowing and the telling, a blockage so to speak . It could be a threat to her life, or someone close to her, blackmail, but has to be something to make her fear to tell others what she has learnt. It creates a conflict that she will have to resolve throughout your story.

2. Has she met the victim? Does the victim's choices and feelings influence her silence against her speaking out? At the base-line it is all about the victim, her life, her reactions, her hate or her forgiveness as to what has happened to her. You know your characters better than anyone, but perhaps the silence is what this woman wishes. In effect it's about giving the victim the right to speak out, and finding the strength to do so. If it is her decision not to then you must find a solid plausible reason for this.

Perhaps this silence is the barrier your MC is trying to break down, to put some things to rights, to give a choice to the victims that they weren't permitted to have in the beginning.

 

[grahamguitarman]

Just a quick post to say I personally know a woman who was raped and became pregnant. She was unsure what to do about the child, and thought she might even give it up when it was born (she couldn't bring herself to have an abortion). once the baby was born she did indeed fall in love with the child however, and brought them up with lots of love and affection.

So it isn't unrealistic to have your character to love and raise her son regardless.

She never forgot how the child was conceived BTW, she just didn't let it get in the way of giving unconditional love to that child.

 

[Steerpike]

I agree with graham. Also, I wouldn't worry too much about the political views of your characters. Most readers are savvy enough to understand that they may or may not be shared by the author. And even if they are the views of the author, there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself, and I think most people are reasonable enough to also realize that.

 

[Caged Maiden]

See... I can totally relate to your fear this might be seen as controversial, but in the explaining, I can already see how much thought you've put into it, and have confidence you will be able to handle it with as much dignity as it can be. Rape is unfortunately a part of life, and throughout our own history many women have sought abortions (even before modern medicine) and many have simply kept their mouths shut.

There is nothing wrong with portraying her loving her son. I don't think anyone with a reasonable grasp on reality would see that as a stand against abortion, especially since you have acknowledged that the option was available, she just personally didn't opt for it. I think it denotes strength, especially if single mothers are not highly regarded. Her love was stronger than her fear, and she made a sacrifice for her child.

There are many men in this world who view rape with as much disgust as women. It would be an interesting dynamic if a group of powerful men were trying to track down these offenders, and she was caught in the middle of that. Personally if it were me, and I found out my teacher had committed the same crime I'd been victim of, no matter how meek I appeared on the outside, I'd get him alone, drug him, and castrate him with a rusty spoon..... but that is just me (no really, I'd do it, and probably some other assorted bodily harm) but this is a subject that is particularly sensitive to me. That being said... would she feel like I do? Would she want Revenge? Justice? Money? To be left alone? I've never been violently raped, but if you would like the insight I can offer I would be happy to give it in PM.

 

[The Blue Lotus]

You do have a lot going on...

I think for you the best thing to do is go with the flow and then see what happens. Your story will write its self in the end.

Dealing with rape is not easy, and dealing with people who are basicly good but misinformed is IMHO even worse.

Sure she could say nothing, "he's not hurting anyone now" but if she found out he raped her best friend as well how would she react? Would she still be quite then?

Perhaps she stays quiet on the outside but works in other ways to bring his terror to an end?

As for the son, I think that is an amazing story but yes it does sound a little like a pro life ad. Nothing too in your face so I don't mind it at all. (I'm Pro choice under very specific circumstances.) I think you delt with that aspect well. Good luck I'd love to see how it works out.

 

[ascanius]

First, I don't see anything antiabortionist about her keeping the child, It sounds like something that very well can, and sadly does happen in a war setting.
The second problem I think depends entirely on the woman, her views, opinions, loyalties, and dozens of other things. She may believe in forgiveness, or due to the way she was raised view rape as abhorrent and all those who commits such crimes as less than the poo one wipes of their shoes. I disagree with butterfly in saying that someone has to force her silence though. Or that meeting the victim should influence her choice. It could influence her view of him, but I think in the end it will depend entirely on who she is and where she came from.

Also you never say he admitted to raping her, Does he? or is the fact the he doesn't regret it, then I wold ask why? It doesn't sound like this mentor is some despicable man but someone who was involved in a war and all the horror that came with it. We all say we would act justly when war is at our doorstep, people do terrible things to survive. I am not justifying anything just saying that this mentor may not regret what he did because he does not regret surviving. Though the rape aspect, I don't see how one could not feel ashamed of such actions. but some do. All in all I would think her relationship with her mentor and where she came from would influence things the most. I see it as very probable that she would let sleeping dogs lie. But like I said it depends on who she is. But is sounds like you already came to this conclusion.

 

[Penpilot]

I can see your worries about being perceived as an antiAbortion stance. But I think as long as your not thumping that view pont into the reader you should be ok. That doesn't mean that some won't see the story as antiabortion but I don't think there's any way to come out of this without someone thinking that no matter how well you handle it. One thing you can do is balance the equation by presenting a foil for the woman. Show another woman who had an abortion and is in the same state of mind as the woman who had the abortion. Now it's no longer a stance but discussion on the merits of either choice.

As for the rapist. If you let him get away with things, you're saying something about how evil doesn't always get what's coming. Is that a part of your word? I think the rapist having to face their crime because the student reported him creates the most drama because you now have three characters dealing with the consequences of their choices, maybe four if you decide to add that foil character I mentioned above. And the reader gets to see how this world and each character deals with the fallout of rape.

 

[Ghost]

I don't think the first is too much of an issue. If the mother says things like "Oh no, I couldn't kill my poor little baby because he has a soul from the moment he's conceived. I can't abide someone who kills a poor defenseless little baby. Etc, etc" then I'd take it as a pro-life stance, at least for the character. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

As for the second...that's tough. I imagine the 2nd female MC would feel betrayed. Fair or not, a lot of people hold their mentors and personal heroes to a higher standard than anyone else. It's especially true if she'd put him on a pedestal. If she views him as something of a father figure, that can affect her reaction. How close she is to the victim and the victim's son also matters. If there are another pupils in the mix, their feelings can influence hers. Her own sense of justice can make her take a tougher stance. It can get very messy very quickly.

A few reactions that come to mind for me:

• She's angry at the mentor, at herself for not seeing what he was capable of, or even at the victim for revealing something she'd rather not know. She hares off to confront the mentor, rails at him for his actions, and resents him for the rest of the book. She might not even be mad at him for raping someone, but for jeopardizing his own status.
• She sides with the victim, horrified at what happened. Maybe she sees the contrast between the mentor and the victim and sees that someone in control acted in a vile way while the person at his mercy acted with dignity. It makes her think of her mentor differently, seeing him as someone less worthy of protecting.
• She ignores the situation, choosing not to face the music. If the victim(s) go to her demanding justice, she passes the buck saying it's not her problem.
• She tells the authorities, for justice or perhaps to wash her hands of it so she's not guilty by association. It doesn't have to be noble. She can turn around and tell the mentor to get out of Dodge so he escapes justice. She might feel she did the right thing by outing him yet feel protective enough of him to warn him.

Even if she's passive about it, she can be passive for different reasons. You say the mentor "freely admits that he has raped, tortured and killed many people during this war and doesn’t regret it," but did he admit these things before she met the victim or after? Knowing it beforehand is one thing, especially if someone comes along and makes it real. Even if it gives her pause, she might support the mentor because deep down she always knew what happened and accepted it. However, if it came out first and he admits what he did afterward, the shock and feelings of disappointment might make her avoid him and the situation.

You say she feels like the sort of character who would stay silent. You know her better than anybody. If that's what's natural for her, then that's what you should do. I'm not sure it matters if she's likeable as long as she's interesting and what she does makes sense given her background and circumstances.

Most of us would like to imagine ourselves as noble and honorable, and I'm sure characters feel the same way, too. But many people live lives that aren't so simple and they have relationships are too murky for a one-size-fits-all approach, so they do what's best for them and the ones they care about even when it isn't the honorable choice. I think as long as readers can see the sequence of events as it unfolds and affects the female MC, there will people who sympathize with her. It will take a deft hand to show how conflicted she is without going overboard, but it can be done.

Time to stop rambling. This sounds like a fascinating story, Amanita.

 

[Jabrosky]

I have an issue with rape in my current WIP as well. One of the supporting characters, actually the heroine's eventual love interest, confesses early on that he raped his former girlfriend out of rage. However, this event has caused a series of troubles for this character and he realizes what he did was wrong, so his character arc will center on his redemption and growth into a more compassionate character.

Obviously it's not my intention to endorse rape, but given the popular opinion that rape is this horribly traumatic and irredeemable atrocity, I worry that people may think that my character's crime is too extreme to forgive him for. Personally, I'm of the mindset that people should learn from their mistakes instead of letting themselves be haunted by them, but most people are more vindictive than that.

 

[Kit]

I think it's good to redeem yourself for your past sins and mistakes, but I also feel, personally, there are some things that there's just no coming back from. Certain things that- if a person is/was capable of doing that- there is just something profoundly wrong with that person on a core level. Their conscience/ethical system is just warped. No matter how much they worked to get beyond that, I still wouldn't turn my back to them.

In most cases, I try to keep the mindset of "this person did a bad thing" as opposed to "this is a bad person" but if it was bad enough, you get the Bad Person label and you won't get out from under that, in my opinion.

I realize that this viewpoint offers a person no incentive to try to stop raping people.... it's a conundrum.

 

[Jabrosky]

I think it's good to redeem yourself for your past sins and mistakes, but I also feel, personally, there are some things that there's just no coming back from. Certain things that- if a person is/was capable of doing that- there is just something profoundly wrong with that person on a core level. Their conscience/ethical system is just warped.

My character does confess to having serious anger issues, and while I wouldn't ever rape a woman myself, I do suffer from a short temper myself, so I tend to empathize with short-tempered people. It doesn't help that the raped girlfriend was very manipulative and mean towards him (not that this justifies her getting raped).

 

[Amanita]

Thank you very much for all your helpful answers!
It seems to me that no one is completely opposed to the story around her son which I’m glad about. I don’t have another named character who did have an abortion but there is another case where keeping the child didn’t work out well. The girl grew up unloved by her mother and unaccepted by the other villagers and let herself be recruited into the antagonist terrorist organisation later. She probably will be the one who is being redeemed in the cause of the story but it should still show that having a child doesn’t have to be a good thing if mother and child are being given no chance.

My second main character’s reactions seems to be much more problematic in your opinion and reading your thoughts on it I have to agree. I’ll probably try to find another way for this to unfold, maybe he simply doesn’t tell her about it at this early point of the story.
The situation is as follows: The rapist character it the leader of one of his country’s magical training centres. The main character (wait, I’ll just use the names, this might make it less confusing) Rijuna is travelling to the neighbouring country because there’s a young girl (Lenima, main character) developing magic there and they want to take care of her before she can fall into the hands of the terrorists mentioned above.
While visiting Lenima Rijuna also meets the rape victim Kalilah and her son Varil. Kalilah doesn’t tell them what has happened to her but it’s implied and Rijuna knows, they don’t talk about the rape however. It transpires that Varil is magical too, unlike Lenima he’s managed to develop his gift without getting ill however.
That’s why Rijuna is taking him to the magical training centre as well as Lenima, he’s been curious about his “father’s” country for a while, that’s why he agrees. Generally, the relations between both countries have improved again and the war criminals who are found are being punished.
When they arrive, Rejan refuses to have Lenima, a pureblooded child of the other nation, taught but agrees to test Varil for magic. During this he finds out that Varil is his son. My first thought was that Rijuna who is involved in the testing process as well finds out at this point, but I think it should be possible to avoid this.

Even in his present position, Rejan isn’t exactly a nice person. His methods for teaching the students (young adults between 18 and 22 years) are very harsh and Rijuna has been quite afraid of him when she was younger. She believes that he has the students’ and the country’s best interests at heart however and he’s showing her respect because of the good work she’s been doing since.
This is not completely true however. He does have these beliefs but he also enjoys having power over weaker people way too much and he isn’t beyond feeling unacceptable desire for his female students but doesn’t act on it. Rijuna subconsciously knows these things but doesn’t want to admit them because it would harm her belief in the system. I think what he’s done to her is almost close to brainwashing. She believes his way of treating her and her fellow students was right because they needed it to learn probably, if she acknowledged it wasn’t she’d have to admit that she’s been a victim herself, not of sexual violence but of abusive treatment and that’s something she doesn’t want to because she’s been a victim already. Once again, not of sexual violence as one of you has believed after my first post but of other consequences of war.
Admitting to be suffering, to have been made a victim and to show grief is a great problem to her. The totalitarian government that has ruled her country has used the culture’s tradition of going on with life after bad experiences to turn their people into a group fighting gladly and always viewing grieve, sympathy, admitting to be suffering as a sign of weakness. She’s made it far enough to accept such feelings in others without viewing them as weak, but she still can’t accept them in themselves.
If she finds out what Rejan has done during the war and if this is being dragged into the public, she has to confront all these things which she rather wouldn’t.
(She has to during the course of the story anyway but she doesn’t know at this point. ,))

Now a few words on the issue of rape in general.
I believe that there’s something wrong with men who rape women under “normal” circumstances but I’m not sure about the cases in war in general. The character I’m writing about here certainly has his issues but after the reading I’ve done on such events, I do believe that many “normal young men” are prepared to do something like that under the strain of a war situation and the accompanying group pressure. Such cases are so common that I have trouble believing that all those men are evil beyond redemption. The man responsible for the existence of the second “war child” in my story I’ve mentioned above is someone like that and he’s turning up as a relatively sympathetic character later in the story. In his case, the others only find out towards the end of the story and I haven’t made it there yet, that’s why I’m not quite sure how this will end yet.
I will keep this thread on my radar however.

A few words on your case, Jabrosky.
I can only give you my personal opinion but the fact that someone views rape as an acceptable way of dealing with conflicts he has with women would be highly problematic for me. I definitely wouldn’t want someone like that for a boyfriend or close friend because I’d always be worried that he’d do it again.
Sometimes, I can be highly annoying towards people I’m living closely together with, my father and sister could tell you so. If I knew that someone might react this way in such a situation I absolutely couldn’t trust him.

 

[JBryden88]

Rape is obviously a sensitive issue.

One of the things I've often read - both in other fantasy fiction and via history -> is that war turns what would be normally men of integrity into animals who do horrible things. Especially in history where combat was hand to hand rather than from range.

I've always been in the camp that even the worst of characters shouldn't be considered evil.

So, I suggest definitely getting into the head of the man who might have partaken of this act. I imagine /that/ would be difficult, and you'd need to do some research. But getting into his head - why did he do it, what was he thinking, and would he do it again? Is he a full rounded out "human being" or is he just "the war rapist next door?"

 

[Jabrosky]

A few words on your case, Jabrosky.
I can only give you my personal opinion but the fact that someone views rape as an acceptable way of dealing with conflicts he has with women would be highly problematic for me. I definitely wouldn’t want someone like that for a boyfriend or close friend because I’d always be worried that he’d do it again.

That is a very valid point I wish I had considered. I wanted my character's crime to be horrible enough for him to be imprisoned by it, but perhaps rape is going too far.

 

[Amanita]

Maybe they got into a physical fight and he hit or pushed her really hard resulting in her getting severely injured. At least to me, this seems a much more likely result of anger and it would be plausible that he didn't mean to injure her that badly.
That doesn't mean that I believe hitting women is okay as long as they're not being raped, but at least to me it feels like something that may happen during the course of an argument which got out of hand. If the person in question did it in the heat of the moment and realises that its wrong, I think this could be made understandable to readers.
Forcing a woman to have sex with you out of anger doesn't seem to be an understandable reaction for me. That might be becaue I'm female and don't know how men feel, maybe. Still, it's not what I'd expect from a normally socialised man and as I've mentione above, I'd be extremely umcomfortable around someone I know has used his sexuality as a weapon if you want to put it that way.

 

[Ghost]

This gets more and more complicated. I like it.

Either way you play it could be interesting. If Rejan's action is revealed early on, it will color readers' perception of him very strongly and there might be an expectation that something happen to him. If readers know that Rejan is the rapist but Rijuna doesn't, that adds suspense. When will she find out? How will she react? Or readers might have an inkling that something happened with the hints you drop after conversations with Kalilah. Then after testing Corin Rejan has an epiphany. Readers might assume Corin has an interesting magical ability if the two threads aren't linked. Later, we find out Rejan got shifty because he realized Corin was his son and we think "Ohh! that's why he acted like that!"

As for Rijuna...the way she's been treated by Rejan and the way their culture views weakness makes things difficult. Perhaps she feels like her suffering isn't really that bad in comparison. She might bottle it up or bury it deep because, in her mind, she has nothing to complain about. Living in a country where admitting to suffering is seen as weak would exacerbate that. To top it off, it sounds as if she's a bit cowed and either feels like she deserved shabby treatment or feels the treatment is justified and she needs to tough it out. This could all lend to her "passing the buck" to another authority figure or ignoring it to focus on her main goal. It would fit her background.

Or she could realize she's had enough and take matters into her own hands, especially if she sees Rejan as fallible, like if she were to catch him in a moment of weakness. She could have her own moment of clarity and decide to end it to quiet her own conscience, to bring closure, and possibly to pay Rejan back for his treatment of her or her friends. She might equate the two forms of suffering, hers at the hand of the third country and Kalilah's (and Corin's), and decide justice is justice. It sounds like she thinks they're two very different things. Perhaps later in the book(s) she'll take a different stance.

Those are just my interpretations. It's an interesting and complicated dynamic, and when you find a solution that resonates with you, it will all be worthwhile.