Creating a world for new video game development, need advice.

[RandomName]

First and formal, How you guys doing, I am a new member of this amazing site.

I am a college student that is working on a video game with a small team, we are building a world for our new game.
the presentation of this world in the game will be something like Dark Souls (telling the story, the lore of the game through a lot of item descriptions from the items that player will be picking up).

So I had this Idea for a long time, I'm not a good writer but I try my best to start this little piece. Take a look and please comment if you like, Thank you!

Dark Medieval Style World, Form by God, Human, and Demon. Gods were meant to be worship by Humans, if not do so, Demons will deliver punishment.

But nobody knows when it started, some Humans begin to gain the power to control demons. Since this type of ability was only supposed to be used by Gods, these Humans also gained the name of Skyborn. They used their power to protect other Humans. But as time progress, Skyborns started to have ambition, trying to take down God and control other humans.​

Apolia is the kingdom in the game, peacefully ruled by King Apollo, a strong and kind man that all Humans respected until Skyborns started their march with Demon Army to the Sky Palace (closes place to Gods). The war continued for a long time, almost 3 years to be exact. The Kingdom's proud elite regiment, the Sun Knights, was leading the army at the front line trying everything against the undead army. As the war went on for a long time, Skyborns underwent a major evolution. Perhaps it was because of long term contact with the demons, a few of them started having a monster like bodies. The reason Humans can resist the undead is their supreme wisdom, but when Skyborns start having Human intelligence with the demonlike bodies, Humans didn't have any chance.

The Sun Knights' commander, Solaire of Astora, was captured and the King Apollo was killed by Demonlord Diablos. The kingdom of Apolia died, and in its place was a new realm of the undead, Hades.​

----------------------------------------------(A lot more detail for this world's lore will be coming soon)---------------------------------------------------

 

[Night Gardener]

Hi Dapqu! Welcome to the forum! I have some comments and questions, inserted with blue text, for your consideration.

First and formal, How you guys doing, I am a new member of this amazing site.

I am a college student that is working on a video game with a small team, we are building a world for our new game. the presentation of this world in the game will be something like Dark Souls (telling the story, the lore of the game through a lot of item descriptions from the items that player will be picking up).

So I had this Idea for a long time, I'm not a good writer but I try my best to start this little piece. Take a look and please comment if you like, Thank you!

Dark Medieval Style World, Form by God, Human, and Demon. Gods were meant to be worship by Humans, if not do so, Demons will deliver punishment. So, this means that Demons are the direct Agents of God(s).
1. Gods are meant to be worshipped by humans
2. Gods use Demons directly to punish humans who do not worship them.
3. Only Gods are supposed to govern and control Demons.
4. (Implied) Gods created Humans and Demons
5. Why do the Gods *need* or want Humans to worship them?

But nobody knows when it started, some Humans begin to gain the power to control demons. Since this type of ability was only supposed to be used by Gods, these Humans also gained the name of Skyborn.
1. What was the reaction of the Gods to the Skyborn being able to control Demons?
2. Did the Demons want to be controlled (utilized) by the Skyborn instead of the Gods? If so, Why? I think that is a key idea that needs further development or explanation in the lore... which could also imply that the Demons are "using" the Skyborn, or rebelling against the Gods through the Skyborn, etc.

They used their power to protect other Humans. But as time progress, Skyborns started to have ambition, trying to take down God and control other humans. Protect humans from ...what? Who?​

Apolia is the kingdom in the game, peacefully ruled by King Apollo, a strong and kind man that all Humans respected until Skyborns started their march with Demon Army to the Sky Palace (closes place to Gods). The war continued for a long time, almost 3 years to be exact. The Kingdom's proud elite regiment, the Sun Knights, was leading the army at the front line trying everything against the undead army.

"Undead Army"? Where did this come from?

As the war went on for a long time, Skyborns underwent a major evolution. Perhaps it was because of long term contact with the demons, a few of them started having a monster like bodies. Through... transfiguring magic, perhaps? Interbreeding humans with demons?

The reason Humans can resist the undead is their supreme wisdom, but when Skyborns start having Human intelligence with the demonlike bodies, Humans didn't have any chance.

Are you saying that Demons "are" the Undead... or are the Undead and Demons two entirely seperate things? Different origins? What do the Gods think of the Undead?

The Sun Knights' commander, Solaire of Astora, was captured and the King Apollo was killed by Demonlord Diablos. The kingdom of Apolia died, and in its place was a new realm of the undead, Hades.

Do Demons create the Undead, or did the Skyborn create the Undead? Or, did another group (rival humans) to both the Gods, Skyborn and King Apollo (and Demons?) create the Undead? ​

----------------------------------------------(A lot more detail for this world's lore will be coming soon)---------------------------------------------------

 

[Red Star]

I like it a lot, I can tell your a fan of Dark Souls. I'm getting a very grand, biblical vibe from it which it what it sounds like you're going for.

 

[Saigonnus]

Sounds like a grand adventure. The only criticism from me is the naming convention you are using... Apolia - Named after Apollo... okay, are all kings named Apollo? Is the present king named after the first king whose name was used for the kingdom?

A demon named Diablos? Isn't that just a little too "on the nose"? Perhaps you should consider something a different.