Emotional tie to a character who never appears

[Steerpike]

Interesting conundrum I have in one story. The MC's boyfriend is dead when the story starts. It is something she is coping with over the course of the story. I want the reader to 'feel' the connection she had with him, and for the reader to feel for the MC and her relationship with the deceased boyfriend in a way that the reader might feel for a couple whose romance develops over the course of a novel.

Because the boyfriend is dead at the start of the work, he never appears except perhaps in a snippet of dream. I do not like flashbacks, and I'm loathe to use them to dramatize some scene from the past to build a connection between the boyfriend and the reader so they will empathize more strongly with the MC's loss. But I do want the reader to feel strongly about the relationship.

Thoughts on how to approach this?

 

[Aegrus]

I have a friend who wrote a really emotional short story about the death (via car accident) of a family member. It was incredibly sad, and it was only about ten pages. Usually I have very little emotional reaction to books (let alone short stories) that I read, but this was written so well that I had tears in my eyes by the end.

So, It's definitely possible. Just be realistic and emotional consistently- but don't overdo it. If your characters mourn the loss constantly, the reader will become annoyed and numb to the misery.

Be sure to add symbolic things. For example, in the short story I mentioned, the protagonist was reminded of her father's death by "his song" playing on the radio. The end of the song at the end of the story was symbolic for her moving on with her life and letting go of her father.

 

[The Din]

The protagonist could read through old letters, flip through photos, watch old movies, etc. Cliched, but it works. Otherwise they could go on benders and see the lover in faces of strangers, or continually confront the lover's family and friends. Could even be trying to solve the murder/death by reliving their relationship.

Hell, you could have their ghost come back and haunt, never seen that done before... They could have had a child together that looks just like boyfriend, or he had a twin brother who stirs up the memories.

Guess its what sort of tone you're go for.

 

[Graham Irwin]

So many things can remind you of someone you have lost. A necklace or ring you always wear, a special drink you always shared together, a song. Also, the words of someone we lost never really lose their importance. Sometimes I'll hear my grandfather's voice in my head when I think of something he'd always say. What the couple shared could tell you a lot about the dead person, without having to do a bunch of exposition.

If the fact that she has lost her boyfriend is a defining part of her arc in the story you are telling, you might want one good flashback scene that really "sells" their love. Otherwise, ignoring the issue will just leave a 400 lb. gorilla in the room.

 

[Dakkle]

The blossoming relationship you mentioned could evoke memories of her and her dead boyfriend when they were at the start of their relationship perhaps?

 

[mrmister]

He should just always be in her thoughts. When someone's in love they talk and think about the other person a lot. What would he do, what was his outlook on life, and what did she think of it then, and now?

 

[Devor]

I think it might help if you develop a technique for when she remembers his words to her. I think, just every now and then, you could have her thoughts lead into his voice.

What am I going to do? It's all too hard. "It's never too hard." Oh what did he know.

Something like that, but I'm not exactly sure on how the Italics/Quotes should be.

 

[YohannIan]

Hmm..you could link the central plot of the MC to a legacy left behind by her dead boyfriend. For instance, there was a side to the boyfriend that the MC didn't know much about and as the story progresses, the MC is getting more and more involved in that particular 'thing'. This works many ways here: if you're talking about the death of a friend, then the MC could be filling in his/her shoes to discover the path the friend once walked. If you're talking about a boyfriend, the MC could be making new discoveries about the boyfriend's previous life. In that sense, the MC gets to know more about her boyfriend. And the readers WILL feel a connection to the character even though the character is dead. With a plot that ties in with the boyfriend's past actions, the readers will feel the weight of this character (the boyfriend) affecting the story. And where there's weight..there's bound to be emotion.
Well..that's what I would do.

 

[Steerpike]

Thanks guys, these are all great suggestions. I'll work on ways to make her past relationship with the boyfriend relevant to current actions, whether through memories triggered by objects, words, songs, etc., or by making aspects of that relationship bear directly on the plot (as with discovering more about the boyfriend and how he relates to the current story).

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

 

[YohannIan]

You're welcome!

 

[Chilari]

Interesting conundrum. One additional thing I'd include would be for the MC to notice something amusing or interesting, and think "I should tell [boyfriend] about this" before remembering he's dead. When my grandma was alive, I used to ride the bus home from school all the way into town and get off near her house to visit every Thursday, when mum was busy and not home. Even after her funeral, a few times I forgot to get off the bus at the normal stop because it was Thursday, and would go all the way into town before remembering.