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Feedback for my magic system

Discussion in 'World Building' started by face-face12, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. face-face12

    face-face12 Scribe

    Sorry that I typed so much. So i'm still new to fantasy and world building and i'm trying to make a magic system. I have a bit of an idea in mind that I really like and it fits into my world but id still like to run it past you guys and get some feedback. Please read everything. In my world there are four different mediums through which magical acts can be executed, Adare, Iloss, Surin and Eira. These four mediums are often referred to as The Amory. They are the remains of a type of deity in my world called the Nu, that sacrificed themselves to preserve the plane of existence that they ruled over. A person must be attuned to one of these mediums in order to manipulate it. There are three levels of attunment, minor, medium and full, it is rare to have full attunement.

    Adare was the goddess of forest, beast and hunting, those attuned to her medium can manipulate or influence elements of nature such as flora, fauna, water and air.

    Iloss was the goddess of night and day. Because the goddess favored night over day the darker side of her sphere is far more versatile than that of the lighter side. Those attuned to her medium have access to many dark and eldritch powers, while the lighter powers are mostly limited to fire magic and the manipulation of light to create powerful illusions.

    Surin is the god of Knowledge, death and The Underrim( pretty much like hell in my world) People attuned to his medium have access to powers such as telepathy, clairvoyance, necromancy, the summoning of spirits and demons, hell fire and access to the Underrim via portal.

    Eira was the goddess of sustenance, energy and creation. She was the conscience and soul of the planet. Small amounts of Eira are present in everything living and nonliving( everything except for the dead who automatically relinquish the Eira in their bodies upon death). Through out my world's long history only four people have had minor or medium attunement to Eira and they were considered to be the some of the most powerful magic users ever known. I actually need help deciding what kinds of abilities and powers can be used with Eira any suggestions would be great!

    I have a magic poor world, years ago a cataclysmic event caused magic users to die off in great numbers and most of magic users that exist now can only manipulate small amounts of the mediums that they are attuned to. Each medium in my world is described by the people as being a rough substance, it does not actually have a texture and you cant really touch it but as it flows through the magic user it wears down the soul the way sand paper wears away wood, parts of the soul can be protected or retrieved through many hours of meditation and the strengthening of ones will power . There are two types of magic users in my world, Core mages and Stone mages. When a core mage is born they have a minor attunment to the entire Amory even Eira but they have can manipulate any of the mediums but soon after birth a network begins to form within the newborn's soul, this is considered the most dangerous part of a mages life. The forming of this network cuts off the connection to the other mediums and leaves them attuned to one medium, very rarely does one have attunment to multiple mediums. Stone mages are born already attuned to a medium but can not manipulate it with out the use of something called an Azory stone which is used as a focus. A stone mages magic is less potent than that of a core mage but a core mage has less control over her/her magic, emotions or stray thoughts can cause a spell to go awry and because a core mage interacts with the medium directly their souls have more wear.

    This is what I have so far I'm sorry that its so much. One thing that I would really like help with is that I really want The Amory to act more like a system,kind of like having each medium have some kind of interaction with each other any suggestion would be greatly appreciated and please pick my magic system apart as much as you like and please ask for any clarification. :)
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2014
  2. face-face12

    face-face12 Scribe

  3. Tom

    Tom Istar

    I like your concept; it has good structure and logic. You may want to clarify the Amory's relations to each other. Are they siblings? Several different aspects of one being?

    I was also a bit confused and more than a little intrigued by your idea of magic wearing away at the soul. What happens to the bits of the soul that are worn away? Where do they go? What happens to a mage as his soul is worn away--does he lose aspects of his personality? Start behaving erratically and nonsensically? Lose some of his capacity for thought? Lose some control over his emotions?

    I love the concept of magic wearing at the soul, and I think you could do a lot with it. Explore it, poke at it, deconstruct it. And let me know what ideas you get from it.:)

    I have some questions about mages and how their magic is formed, as well. You said that core mages and stone mages are different from birth. What causes this difference? Is it genetics? Influence of the mediums? (I have a similar situation with my own magic system, and I use genetics as an explanation.)

    Does the environment have any influence over which medium they develop a attunation to? For instance, if a child is born into a family of mages whose medium is Iloss, would the Iloss-magic around the child cause him or her to become more attuned to it? Or if in a certain country, Adare is revered over the other members of the Amory, would mage families select marriage partners in such a way that their children would have a stronger chance of becoming attuned to Adare?

    Overall, I think your magic system is very fascinating and well thought-out, but with a need for just a bit more polishing to really make it shine. Good luck!
  4. face-face12

    face-face12 Scribe

    Thanks Tom! wow I really did not expect to get any positive feedback for this system and thank you for asking all of your questions! Those are things i would not have even taken into consideration. I really like that you asked about how the use of magic wears away the soul, the moment I read the part were you said explore it, poke at it, deconstruct it my creative juices just started flowing and ideas started to formulate, I thought maybe as the soul wears away the mage has less control over his/ her thoughts and emotions, which in turn would makes their magic more erratic and unpredictable, or maybe because the body can't live without the soul once it has worn away completely that the mage dies soon afterwards, or maybe because the soul is pretty much like a collection of memories and experiences as pieces of the soul begin to wear away they give life to a new, darker personality, that is a copy of the old soul, that exist in tandem with it and once the darker soul has enough memories it becomes its own, non corporal entity separate of the body, but it seeks to become a physical being so in the mages weakened and slightly disoriented state the entity could try to remove the original soul and posses the body for its self and go on to fulfill the darker desires the mage has, I really like this one because it KIND OF stays away from the good mage turned pointlessly evil by his magic and stays on track with the "everyone has their own priorities and is will to do whatever is necessary" it could work.

    Or maybe the pieces of the soul that are worn away flow out of the mages body and fuel another dark corrupted medium or maybe it could cause the mage to lose his/her memories bit by bit, hmm this would be nice because it ties into one of my other ideas and maybe because of this memory loss I could have mages in my world have a habit of always keeping pen and paper close and constantly write things down so as not to forget anything, hmmm then in the past when mages were a bit more plentiful note book companies or sellers could have been a huge money grab scheme. or maybe the bits of soul that are lost could just float about in the world and when a new born mage comes into the world while the soul is still forming or is barely formed the new born could absorb parts of some one else's soul and they would have certain memories that belong to someone else omg there are so many possibilities.

    OMG let me move on, ok so with next question about how the magic is formed yes it is genetics....soul genetics? soul dna?hmmm. Back on topic yes breeding with someone that is auttuned to the same medium as you greatly increases the chances that future generations will be attunded to the same medium but just because two parents are attuned to one medium does not always mean the the child will indeed have some magical ability.

    In my world magic has a tendency to sometimes skip generations before showing up, in some families magical ability shows up in increments usually skipping 3 generations rarely 6 and 7.Spiritual Meaning of Numbers and some times even favoring certain sexes in some families, no one fully understands why magic can at times be so predictable and other times so erratic and lastly to explain stone and core mages, this too comes down to genetics, if a core and stone mage reproduce if they are at the same attunment the child(should magical ability be present) will be a core mage this id because a core mages magic is harder to control and usually over powers any possibility of a stone mages more controlled magic being present but if a stone mage has a higher attument than the core then the child will be a stone mage. I hope this is not to confusing i tend to ramble.
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2014
  5. skip.knox

    skip.knox toujours gai, archie Moderator

    I like the random (or seemingly random) element of your magic system. I've got something very like that, but I include circumstance as well. Depending on the type of magic involved, things like weather, soil, material used, even the stars, can affect the outcome. All of which makes magic *seem* unpredictable. I think of it as being like the weather. It *can* be predicted, but you need a huge amount of scientific understanding. At the same time, it's possible to get a rough idea and make general predictions with at least a modest reliability (think Farmer's Almanac).

    Your system has the randomness stem more from internal factors and that works as well. It let's you as the author have your magic do whatever is required by the story, yet still let the system remain obscure.

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