Hiding the villain behind a likeable supporting character.

[ChaoticanWriter]

Hi all!

I've been writing a piece which has been fusing together a few genres; heroic fantasy fiction, steam/clockpunk, thriller/mystery, etc.

Obviously its not the best policy to give out too much information about the story or plot, but my book is full of things that make it unique and stand on its own (I believe), so sharing a bit about it doesn't really threaten its integrity none.

The shorthand is that the murder of an (important person in the kingdom) kicks off the plot, and there is supposed to be a whodunnit investigtion by the protagonists (one part intrigue/political thriller, other part seedy crime noir).

Well, my plan is to have the villain be the pupil of the victim, who is this bright-eyed, uber-charismatic supporting character who helps, and ends up suffering with the protagonists,... all concealing that he's the puppetmaster of the entire string of events until the 3/4ths mark.

His friendly face is disarming to everyone in the book, and while he admits he is a liar, it is more in a 'political' way, until its revealed that he has a dark past which has influenced his rise, and him causing the events.

Add magic, supernatural threats, old occult family history, broken main characters, and revenge motives here.

... I find myself getting hung up with this idea, because I myself am known to read books and watch movies, and can often sniff out the baddie and plot earlier than most people. I'm afraid that I might be making it too obvious it is him by the very sake of giving him more "screen time" in the book than I should. ... Its tough, because I so want to elude to him being this charismatic "bug light" of an individual, in order to make his flip/reveal that much more disbelieving or betraying to everyone.

I'm otherwise looking for stories like mine to read an possibly learn from.

Provided some of the above information, what advise would you guys have about balancing this character, or representing this character so that they can effectively balance the line between likeable friend, and sinister mastermind?

(Obviously this is where I would need to do the heavy lifting, but some input would be appreciated)

On top of this, what sort of mysteries do you find most compelling in a cross-genre story? What sort of things do you like from books that take on more secretive motives, and more intrigue?

 

[Northern]

Maybe consider having whatever event that kills the mentor also affect the pupil in some seemingly permanent way that also makes him a victim.

For example if it was an "accidental" magical lab explosion maybe it leaves the pupil blinded. Or if it was a staged assassination, maybe the pupil helps to fight off the assassin and in the process is stabbed in the arm or leg which leaves him crippled for life and unable to fight or use magic or whatever the situation of the story world calls for.

Of course in the end this was all part of the plan and the injury was just an act, which could be part of the big reveal. But at the start of the story this would probably help build sympathy and dissuade suspicion.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

 

[Penpilot]

I'm generally not a mystery type person, so grain of salt. For me, I generally find it very hard to keep secrets like this from the reader without feeling like I'm cheating in some way, so I generally don't. For me, I find there's more to be gained storywise by revealing to the reader who the "mystery" baddie is without revealing it to the hero. That way, I can play with the villains duplicity in the face of the hero and create tension and conflict that way. But that's me.

With that said, if you want to keep the villain a secret, one thing you could try is to point the finger at them right a way and have them seemingly work hard to prove their "innocence". That way you'd have a reason for them to have a lot of screen time early on. They're trying to earn the hero's trust. Then, once they've been proven trustworthy, have them use the fact that they were wrongfully accused as a reason to help the hero solve the case, giving them another reason to be prominent in the story. Then, you reveal it was all apart of their master plan.

My 2 cents. It's worth what you paid.

 

[Night Gardener]

Nothing more fun than having the protagonist prove the baddie character innocent... in the beginning. Either by corroborating an alibi, the baddie character also being injured or assaulted, etc. It would be important to establish that level of clearance and confidence of innocence by the protagonist, otherwise it would be off-putting, suspicious or against modern protocols to let the baddie character be so involved in the investigation. It would probably be even worse (the betrayl) to the reader to actually deputize this baddie, to officially involve them in the criminal investigation. Otherwise, victim or not, the baddie would just be treated as a vigilante, obstructing or interfering with an investigation, or told to sit on the sidelines as a witness.

The other way to keep them involved, is in a protected witness program. The authorities would definitely keep a concealed witness in the loop if they thought the killer would come back to murder the witness and the threat was immediate.

My WIP will (hopefully) blindside or genuinely surprise readers with reveals. I want them to re-read to see where they missed clues. My plot isn't quite a straight forward as a murder-mystery whodunnit, but there is murder, mystery, conspiracy, political intrique, etc. My MC is made into a criminal and political fugutive very early in the WIP, so by the time the MC is forced to flee NOBODY is trustworthy, not even her own family.

 

[skip.knox]

I, too, am no good at mysteries. I'm *always* surprised. But I still can offer up a suggestion for consideration: the red herring.

You have a fellow who's the surprise bad guy. He gets a lot of stage time, so of course a certain sort of reader is going to suspect him. Let them. Have him do a few suspicious things. These can be things he needs to do anyway, so instead of trying to hide them, let them be found out.

But.

They lead to some other sort of plot. Something he's either not involved in or is involved only tangentially. The plot gets revealed and he's exonerated. All is explained. Even better, he deliberately let parts of his Grand Scheme be discovered precisely so the discovery would remove suspicion. Other parts of the plot remain hidden.

One other thought. A fair number of detective stories are told first person. One reason for this is that the reader gets to see only what the detective sees. This way, the author can hide whatever needs to be hidden without the reader feeling cheated. The whole story structure of a detective novel is quite different from most fantasy tales, but you did say you were planning a Vulcan plot meld, right?

 

[ChaoticanWriter]

These are all really great suggestions, and they definitely have me thinking!

Maybe consider having whatever event that kills the mentor also affect the pupil in some seemingly permanent way that also makes him a victim.

For example if it was an "accidental" magical lab explosion maybe it leaves the pupil blinded. Or if it was a staged assassination, maybe the pupil helps to fight off the assassin and in the process is stabbed in the arm or leg which leaves him crippled for life and unable to fight or use magic or whatever the situation of the story world calls for.

Of course in the end this was all part of the plan and the injury was just an act, which could be part of the big reveal. But at the start of the story this would probably help build sympathy and dissuade suspicion.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

While I do have a scene where the villain/friend (I'll use the term "frenemy") and one of the protagonists are kidnapped and have to fight their way out of confinement, and while that scene may help solidify him as "not the baddie" to the reader, I very much agree that having an event set that expectation early is best.

I've already set up the scene where the victim dies, and it would derail things to put the "frenemy" in that scene as well. BUT, I could have it be known that the victim was attacked before, and the "frienemy" saved his life at the cost of his health, and that gained him even more respectability and renown, and labelled him as "very likely not a suspect" when the actual murder happens.

I'm generally not a mystery type person, so grain of salt. For me, I generally find it very hard to keep secrets like this from the reader without feeling like I'm cheating in some way, so I generally don't. For me, I find there's more to be gained storywise by revealing to the reader who the "mystery" baddie is without revealing it to the hero. That way, I can play with the villains duplicity in the face of the hero and create tension and conflict that way. But that's me.

With that said, if you want to keep the villain a secret, one thing you could try is to point the finger at them right a way and have them seemingly work hard to prove their "innocence". That way you'd have a reason for them to have a lot of screen time early on. They're trying to earn the hero's trust. Then, once they've been proven trustworthy, have them use the fact that they were wrongfully accused as a reason to help the hero solve the case, giving them another reason to be prominent in the story. Then, you reveal it was all apart of their master plan.

My 2 cents. It's worth what you paid.

I appreciate that! =) I figure that its completely fine if the reader suspects that he's the baddie earlier on (while not revealing it to them outright). ... Since I do have a scene where they and the protagonist are kidnapped, and him being brutalized in sight of the reader/protagonist, I'm hoping that this reverts that notion to readers to the point where they say "Oh! Nevermind. I guess he's not the..."

*reaches 3/4 point and the reveal* .... "Aww damnit!!"

Nothing more fun than having the protagonist prove the baddie character innocent... in the beginning. Either by corroborating an alibi, the baddie character also being injured or assaulted, etc. It would be important to establish that level of clearance and confidence of innocence by the protagonist, otherwise it would be off-putting, suspicious or against modern protocols to let the baddie character be so involved in the investigation. It would probably be even worse (the betrayl) to the reader to actually deputize this baddie, to officially involve them in the criminal investigation. Otherwise, victim or not, the baddie would just be treated as a vigilante, obstructing or interfering with an investigation, or told to sit on the sidelines as a witness.

The other way to keep them involved, is in a protected witness program. The authorities would definitely keep a concealed witness in the loop if they thought the killer would come back to murder the witness and the threat was immediate.

My WIP will (hopefully) blindside or genuinely surprise readers with reveals. I want them to re-read to see where they missed clues. My plot isn't quite a straight forward as a murder-mystery whodunnit, but there is murder, mystery, conspiracy, political intrique, etc. My MC is made into a criminal and political fugutive very early in the WIP, so by the time the MC is forced to flee NOBODY is trustworthy, not even her own family.

Its definitely my goal to establish his charisma and his innocence early, and since he is a political figure, he becomes a resource to the investigation rather than a suspect, so the protagonists rely on him even more for guidance.

So... an alibi on where he was and what he was doing would be key. Perhaps they both knew it was coming, and so they were making preparations to save his life, which failed. ("Failed")

I, too, am no good at mysteries. I'm *always* surprised. But I still can offer up a suggestion for consideration: the red herring.

You have a fellow who's the surprise bad guy. He gets a lot of stage time, so of course a certain sort of reader is going to suspect him. Let them. Have him do a few suspicious things. These can be things he needs to do anyway, so instead of trying to hide them, let them be found out.

But.

They lead to some other sort of plot. Something he's either not involved in or is involved only tangentially. The plot gets revealed and he's exonerated. All is explained. Even better, he deliberately let parts of his Grand Scheme be discovered precisely so the discovery would remove suspicion. Other parts of the plot remain hidden.

One other thought. A fair number of detective stories are told first person. One reason for this is that the reader gets to see only what the detective sees. This way, the author can hide whatever needs to be hidden without the reader feeling cheated. The whole story structure of a detective novel is quite different from most fantasy tales, but you did say you were planning a Vulcan plot meld, right?

Thats a good point! I might just need to devise more red-herrings to cloud up the investigation further. ... I sort of want the investigation to drive the characters a little mad in some way, so lots of lies and leads may do that effectively.

It's also my intent on having at least a couple of "pseudo bad guys". People who are in and of themselves "antagonists", but not the number uno. Each of them have motives, and have some level of power to potentially orchestrate things.

One other idea I has was incorporating an urban legend of this person in the underground who goes by a particular name (like "Kaiser Sose" of The Usual Suspects) who is rumored a lot, and is some sort of phantom cult leader / revolt leader. They are ultimately the biggest red herring, because instead of forcing the characters to ask "Who killed him" they're asking "Who is 'phantom person'?" ... Either they are a complete red herring, or in a direct / indirect way, it is the true villain.

 

[skip.knox]

The pseudo- bad guys could also be victims. Used by the real bad guy as pawns.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Two things to be cautious of when writing this trope:
A: making it super obvious that the pseudo baddie is working for the evil guy. I play a lot of RPG's and a lot of the times they like to make these types of characters super obvious. Most of the time if you have ANY kind of writing chops, you can call that shit from orbit in some of em.
B: If you plan to have the pseudo baddie 'redeem' themselves, you do not have to have them 'sacrifice' themselves to create an opening for the protags. I've seen this done many times in a lot of different media. It's a good story note but honestly I roll my eyes at it every time it happens.