Hooking the reader in at the start

[Jess A]

What are your tips for hooking the reader in from the start? What makes you want to read further? Feel free to give examples (but explain them). I was looking through the Showcase forum and a comment I see often is 'I don't feel hooked'. What can be improved?

Something I know I don't like reading is fluffy, happy introductions for the main character. I want some conflict in there! Then some character building.

I'll admit that I skim through books these days rather than relying on the 'hook' chapter (I sometimes read the end first...for shame). But I would still like some advice. For both first chapters and prologues.

 

[TWErvin2]

Start with something meaningful. A common notion is action or some event. Avoid long descriptions of setting or 'a day in the life' before things go astray.

You can work in character description or setting while the action or important situation is unfolding.

I can give examples from my novels with a link to my website. On this page links to the first chapters of Flank Hawk and Blood Sword can be found (or they can be found in the Amazon Look Inside feature).

FlankHawkMainPage

 

[TWErvin2]

Another thing to do is to read the beginning of novels you've enjoyed and study what worked to hook you as a reader and why. Then apply what you learned to your writing style and the project you're beginning.

 

[Graylorne]

My first chapters start with action, too, only where Flank Hawk starts directly with dialogue, are mine more descriptive. I'm old-fashioned, probably.

You can find the openings of both Revenaunt book 1 and of Scarfar on my website (see signature), that's easier than posting them here.

 

[Grand Lord BungleFic]

What hooks me more than battles is posing a question that I REALLY want to know the answer to. When I first read Wizards' First Rule I absolutely couldn't put it down because Goodkind really made me want to know who this mysterious woman was. He drags that particular little mystery out long enough to allow other interesting events to take over.

 

[Chilari]

For me I think I need a character I can care about. I need to know what the character wants, what their motivations for their opening actions are, even if those motivations are redundant by chapter 2. If I don't care about the character, it's oh so easy to put the book down. To make me care, show me something the character wants (and show me that they do want it, through the language you use to describe their actions), how they go about getting it and why it is so important to them.

 

[wordwalker]

For me I think I need a character I can care about. I need to know what the character wants, what their motivations for their opening actions are, even if those motivations are redundant by chapter 2. If I don't care about the character, it's oh so easy to put the book down. To make me care, show me something the character wants (and show me that they do want it, through the language you use to describe their actions), how they go about getting it and why it is so important to them.

A good point, but I always think that's partly answering a question with a question: What do people think makes a compelling Chapter One character?

 

[Graylorne]

Off the cuff I'd say:

* they must be in dire need and/or
* they must have high hopes and/or
* they must be shrouded in great mystery and/or

other tastes are also possible.

This means you get first of all hooked by the emotion, only later by the character itself.

 

[Chilari]

A good point, but I always think that's partly answering a question with a question: What do people think makes a compelling Chapter One character?

I think I've half answered that already. A character should want something, there needs to be something they are striving for; it needs to be something the reader can sympathise or empathise with, so in general I'd suggest something personal and universal, something everyone has felt at some time in their life or has seen others feel, like the desire to protect someone, the desire for revenge, the desire to improve their life in some manner, and so on.

Secondly, as well as wanting something, the character should be working towards gaining that thing. Having someone pining for a kitten that they want but they can't have because their landlord doesn't allow pets and so they simply cannot have it (without putting their tenancy at risk) isn't compelling. Someone wanting to be able to afford a better flat where they can have a kitten and deciding to increase their income through selling papier mache scultures is compelling (depending on how it is handled), because we see the link between the character's desires and their actions, and we can all understand the mentality behind working hard for something we want.

Thirdly, there should be an obstacle to achieving the desire. Perhaps the protagonist is having trouble selling the papier mache scultures because a rival has a booming papier mache business and none of the tacky souvenir shops want to buy from the protagonist because she's charging more than their existing supplier. Or perhaps she can't get hold of wire and balloons to use in making the scultures because they cost money and she has none to spare. Or maybe the rent goes up so she now needs to make more papier mache scultures just to cover rent and still can't save up for a desposit on a better apartment. Then she has to overcome these problems. Does she look for ways of getting materials for free? Does she eat less to pay for the wire and balloons or increased rent? Does she decide to spend money she'd saved up for her sister's birthday present on wire and balloons instead of chocolates for her sister? Does she decide to make clay sculptures instead of papier mache so she's not competing with someone who can undercut her?

Okay, my example here is perhaps not the best. But to make a compelling character, I'd say you need a desire which can be empathised with, which the character works hard to attain and and obstacle which makes attaining the desire more difficult are a sound start.

Admittedly it might be difficult to get that all into one chapter, but one way to have that compelling character arc is to have a two-level thing - chapter one, character has desire X, works hard to achieve it, comes up against obstacle Y which leads on to desire Z, achieves desire X by the end of chapter one and then works towards desire Z for the rest of the story.

Having said all that, giving a charatcer a desire, a means to achieve it and an obstacle aren't the be all and end all. the writer needs to demonstrate in the prose that the character wants their desire, not just tell me after the first scene. It needs to fully be part of the narrative, what the character wants, what they are willing to do to achieve it, how it makes them feel when they come up against the obstacle.

This is, of course, all about a character. I'll admit there are other ways of hooking the reader, but I feel that a compelling character is, while not always essential, certainly a powerful tool of pulling the reader in. What it boils down to is leaving the reader with a question that they want answering, a question that they really care about finding out the answer for. So if you want to start with mystery rather than empathy, that can certainly work. With the compelling character route, the queston is "does this character get what they want?" and also "how do they do it?" The answer to the first question can certainly be "no" if it is done well and the "no" spurs the character on to future "yes"es. For a hook involving a mystery, the question might be "who is this mysterious man in black?" or "why is a seemingly inconsequential object so important to the powers that be?"

 

[PaulineMRoss]

For me, there has to be something intriguing, some mystery going on, something that makes me want to know the answer to a question (who, what, why, where, when...). It doesn't matter if the mystery is about a character, or the setting, or the situation, or some action going on, so long as I want to know more about it. I don't need a book to start with intense action, particularly, because I don't care enough about the characters at that point, and I don't mind a bit of description upfront, but do I need to be intrigued.

On compelling characters: I don't know that it's possible for a character to be compelling straight out of the box. Interesting, maybe, but compelling comes from the accumulation of actions and motivations and backstory and personality, which takes a lot more than a few paragraphs, in my view.

 

[Ireth]

I seem to be having trouble with this, judging by what feedback members of this site has given me. I'll definitely be following this thread for any help I can glean from it.

 

[Leif Notae]

The way I see it, you want to start with action. Not Michael Bey "explosions", but something happening. Movement, betrayal, destruction of innocence, something that will resonate with your reader first and foremost. Nothing overboard, but enough to make the barbs stick in. A good prologue can do this while focusing on the villain if you feel your protagonist is too weak to carry a opening, but in the end you must express the stakes and what is normal and what is lost generally in the first few pages.

Dialogue can get there too, but you never want to open with it. Action seguing into dialogue can work. It is about tension, making people feel it through the almost ungodly torment you send your characters through. This is why most pros are regular people, because they can hook a "regular person" reader in better than a superhero.

Also, if you are thinking about it, make sure your ending matches you beginning. Have the cyclical payoff to really make your story sing. Don't limp into "and they ate potatoes happily ever after" if they never saw a potato in their life. You don't HAVE to do it, but if you tie it in, you will look like a friggin' genius!

EDIT: Addition - Most people can tell if they'll get hooked by the very first line of your work. If it doesn't pass the sniff test, you'll never get them back. This is why your very first words will determine the rest of your manuscript's fate.

A great non-fic book to read on this is "Hooked". I highly recommend it.

 

[Feo Takahari]

I think the advice to start with action can be a little misleading for novice writers--those who attempt it often begin their story in the middle of a fight scene between two characters about whom the reader knows nothing, and whose fighting is therefore meaningless to everyone but the author.

Personally, I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks. Someone like Isaac Asimov may instead start with a scene that demonstrates an idea, and someone like . . . I dunno, who's really good at world-building? . . . might start with a broad sweep over the location where the story takes place.

 

[Ireth]

I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks.

That's the approach I go for probably all of the time, but that's exactly what people say is not "hooky' enough. you may have read my various edits of the first chapter of Winter's Queen -- the first version especially is very focused on the main two characters and their relationship with each other, hinting how the events to come in the chapter affect them emotionally (the father being stricken with grief and rage at his daughter's kidnapping, the daughter trusting her father to save her and, when he fails, realizing she has to save herself). The most recent version still has that, but I also expand on two minor characters who get only a passing mention in the first couple of versions, and I think the chapter as a whole is better for it. It grounds the book more in reality before the heroine is whisked away into the fantastical world of Faerie.

Still, though, the first five or six pages are a little slower than the rest of the chapter. I personally don't mind it much, since there are hints of dangerous things to come, and when they do come they come quickly. But I feel it's necessary to show the heroine's loving relationship with her father before they're separated for the majority of the rest of the book, and if that requires a calmer scene, then fine. After all, if my readers don't get the sense that these people love and trust each other, how well are they going to empathize with the father's determination to get his daughter back, or the daughter's determination to free herself and find her father?

 

[Leif Notae]

I think the advice to start with action can be a little misleading for novice writers--those who attempt it often begin their story in the middle of a fight scene between two characters about whom the reader knows nothing, and whose fighting is therefore meaningless to everyone but the author.

Personally, I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks. Someone like Isaac Asimov may instead start with a scene that demonstrates an idea, and someone like . . . I dunno, who's really good at world-building? . . . might start with a broad sweep over the location where the story takes place.

I never said a battle, nor would I recommend it on a first novel. ACTION is the act of doing something. You reveal more about your book through the tone you set the first step out of the gate. If it is about your character putting on their clothes for 16 pages, then you have a slow plodding book that won't retain anyone.

 

[PaulineMRoss]

Most people can tell if they'll get hooked by the very first line of your work. If it doesn't pass the sniff test, you'll never get them back. This is why your very first words will determine the rest of your manuscript's fate.

I'm glad I'm not an aspiring author reading this comment, because, honestly, it's enough to scare anyone back to the day job. You have precisely ONE line to hook a reader? EEK. I don't know about publishers, maybe they only read the first line of a book before making a decision, but I read a couple of pages, at least, and often more (assuming I've got far enough in the will-I-like-it process to start reading at all, that is).

A great non-fic book to read on this is "Hooked". I highly recommend it.

An entire book about (essentially) writing a single line - awesome!

 

[Jess A]

This is some fantastic advice and a great discussion. Thank you all, and thank you for the links to your novels. I did get distracted by TWErvin's character quiz - I got Krish, in case you're wondering.

There are lots of good points to address here. To start with I will point out some comments regarding 'action', setting and characterisation. I agree that it doesn't necessarily mean a battle. What I mean is something is happening. Something to introduce the character to me. But I also favour a little 'setting' sweep. I picked up a Kate Forsyth book after reading this thread - a random pick off my shelf, and I notice that she introduces the character straight away. Through the character's eyes she describes the setting:

The girl crouched on the stone ledge, hugging her cloak of furs and skins close against the bite of the night. ... She set her gaze resolutely to the east, where the snow-swollen river ran headlong towards the unknown future, towards freedom and the sea.

(The Tower of Ravens, Kate Forsyth).

This reflects the character's desires. She incorporates action (maybe conflict or events is a better way to put it?) into the first chapter as well as the character's thoughts an fears, and she introduces the setting.

---

Leif mentioned the 'hook' one-liner. In hard news writing that would be a 'lead' paragraph and its importance is clear. But when I come to read a novel, I will skim through various chapters of a book before I decide whether to read it or not. I realise my readers may not be as happy to spoil half the story as I am, so I will be aiming to make my first chapter gripping.

Another good point was the beginning linking to the end. I'd better work out how mine does that - I have once again reworked most of the plot of my novel, so that is something I can look forward to sorting out early on.

Presenting a mystery/question is also a good one. My favourite part about reading a book is drinking in the story to find the answer to something. Sometimes I lose interest as soon as I've found that answer, if no other mysteries are presented. I always try to put a bit of mystery in but have had a lot of problems because I always struggle on when to reveal what the mystery is - and how to reveal it. I think I need to improve on my writing style to give my 'mystery' paragraphs more atmosphere.

---

On the novel examples.

TWErvin: Illustrates some action and character introduction. I'm not writing mine in first person, but I can see what you mean. Certainly descriptive enough to make me feel a bit squeamish, by the way.

Graylorne: Also an interesting introduction. Of course, I couldn't help scanning down at the other chapters, too, as I would in any novel I pick up. I also like describing the setting, which is something I see often in first chapters.

 

[Kit]

I think of a first line as the scenery going by in the side window of my car.

I spend a lot of time in the car, and a lot of scenery passes by. Some of it is pretty, some of it is ugly, much of it is redundant and indifferent. It's not until something catches the corner of my eye that makes me go, "???" that I'll turn my head for a double-take.

I want the first line of my stories to have that "???" factor. I can't garantee that you'll like my MC, or find my scenery pretty, or be interested in the fistfight that's going on over in the corner.... But the "???" is universal- and almost irresistable.

 

[Steerpike]

I like a good first line as well.

I agree with those who say an opening question is most effective. You don't have an emotional connection yet, when you're dealing with the opening sentences of your novel, so you need an intellectual connection. Raising a compelling question is important. I say "compelling" because the mere fact that a question is raised, alone, is not enough. This is particularly true when the question raised is of a type that has been raised many, many times before in fiction. For example, a dead body in the first paragraph isn't interesting by itself anymore, even though it obviously raises a lot of questions. It has simply been done too many times. But if you couple that dead body with a few unusual circumstances or unexpected bits of evidence that signal to your reader that something out of the ordinary is going on, then you've got a good hook.

Regardless of which questions you raise or how you raise them, I think you need the initial intellectual hook. Once you've got that, you will keep the reader around long enough to form the connections with your characters and make the reader care about what is at stake in the story (assuming your writing is good).

 

[BWFoster78]

Here's some advice about the first line that I typically follow:

1. Introduce a character by name - Readers tend to identfy with characters, not events and setting. A battle has no significance unless we know what it means to a character. Get us into that character's head early.

2. Introduce some action (no "is" or "was") that will make the reader want to know what is happening or indicates that the character is in some danger - From a short story I'm writing, first line, "Clark balanced atop an icy precipice."

3. Put the line all by itself in a paragraph to make it stand out more.

Obviously, there are some great openings that don't follow that advice, but I find it to be effective.