I'm BORED with action scenes...

[DragonOfTheAerie]

My first two books included me stopping half way through the first draft, flicking a match on it, and going right to the beginning. I'm not saying that's what you need to do but it worked for me.

*pause* Okay. Actually, I do think its probably the best option.

As you recognise, you need to shove a bit more motivation into the MC (and maybe the others). The likelihood is once you've found the motivations and start writing them in, you'll find the logic of previous scenes doesn't work as well. Best to go back and fix that now.

Heliotrope has some good questions which I'm gonna sorta echo here -

Why do you like this story? What's special about it?

Why do you like character? What's special about her?

Do you know how you want the story to end? What's special about the ending you have in mind, why that and not something else?


edit: I see Heliotrope ninjaed me on question 2

nothing you say is going to make me torch an 80K word manuscript. Especially not after recovering from 2 years of writers block.

Edit: yeah, I know, I sound stubborn, insolent maybe? but the point is that I really *NEED* to finish something right now. No matter how bad.

And I don't think it's completely ruined.

If it's completely ruined, I may throw in the towel with writing completely because I'm obviously unable to do it.

Ok, I'm being dramatic, but i can feel myself sinking into panic over this and I really want to keep my head above water, I really don't want to panic! I want to succeed at something (or feel capable of succeeding). gah someone help me. Last time I was stuck for two years on a manuscript and that was a black hole of despair I never want to go back into. Ever. And now my mind is like, "it's happening, you've broken your story again and you can't fix it again" and I don't want to believe that is true. Am I lying to myself? Maybe. Do I prefer it? Absolutely.

There comes a point when you need to feel like there's hope for something you do.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Whatever happened to "get the first draft out and worry about fixing everything later?" This is confusing.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

nothing you say is going to make me torch an 80K word manuscript. Especially not after recovering from 2 years of writers block.

Edit: yeah, I know, I sound stubborn, insolent maybe? but the point is that I really *NEED* to finish something right now. No matter how bad.

And I don't think it's completely ruined.

If it's completely ruined, I may throw in the towel with writing completely because I'm obviously unable to do it.

Ok, I'm being dramatic, but i can feel myself sinking into panic over this and I really want to keep my head above water, I really don't want to panic! I want to succeed at something (or feel capable of succeeding). gah someone help me. Last time I was stuck for two years on a manuscript and that was a black hole of despair I never want to go back into. Ever. And now my mind is like, "it's happening, you've broken your story again and you can't fix it again" and I don't want to believe that is true. Am I lying to myself? Maybe. Do I prefer it? Absolutely.

There comes a point when you need to feel like there's hope for something you do.

I'm sorry, I panic easily over these things...I don't know why...

 

[ThinkerX]

Whatever happened to "get the first draft out and worry about fixing everything later?" This is confusing.

Been there, done that - with 'Labyrinth: Journal.' Then I went back into it. Lots of pointless fight scenes that didn't contribute to anything. Cut those. Cut one character, a sort of master thief type, and handed his relevant skills to another character that needed fleshing out. And most importantly, after quite a bit of thought, came up with a reason that justified the MC in particular being in the story in the first place.

The whole point being that the rough draft gives you something to work from. A bunch will have to go, but quite a few other things are established.

Suggestion for your MC: give her a reason to think that somewhere better exists, someplace beyond the nightmare city and assassins school. Let her get word of this place now and again from a distant relative or old friend. Maybe even let her visit it briefly, and have her decide she wants to be worthy of living there - then go right back to her criminal ways.

 

[Peat]

Horses for courses At the very least, I think this conclusively answers what you should do next. If you need to finish a first draft, then keep on ploughing ahead with the first draft rather than going back to the beginning.

I do advise that you take a moment to work out the motivation angles first. Both those of your MC, and those of you. If you can keep waving around what makes you really excited about this book and those characters, that's a great thing.



In a more general sense though re "Get the first draft out and worry about fixing everything later" - some people thrive by churning out the first draft then being able to fix it. Others don't. I know some authors start editing the beginning as they're writing the end, because they find that makes it more manageable. Bujold has talked about that. The answer is, as usual, "Whatever works for you".

For me, when I had situations like this, I found starting again worked. If it doesn't work for you, for whatever reason, no drama.

Whatever you have done to the story though, it is not ruined. Pretty much anything that happens in writing a story can be fixed as long as the author has the skill. Even big name authors make some godawful messes writing stories; its just part and parcel of the trade. It might be hard but you can fix this.

 

[Svrtnsse]

Could it be it's an issue with your own expectations as a writer too? I think it's really easy to get the impression that action scenes are going to be awesome because there's a lot of stuff going on and the characters are doing cool and awesome things.

That doesn't have to be the case.

Helio mentioned intensity earlier, and I think that's a lot more important than the actual action. If an action scene feels dull/boring, maybe you could just speed through it very quickly, or skip it entirely?

 

[Heliotrope]

Dragon you are being slightly dramatic.

Writing a novel is hard work. Very hard work. It is the same as being a master in any profession. Not everyone can climb Mount Everest, or win an Olympic medal, or be picked to be the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker. It takes years, in some cases decades, of hard work, determination, developing skills, and practice. It is hard bloody work. Your first novel will not be your best. Neither will your second, or third, or fourth, or tenth. Here is Brandon Sanderson's story of his writing beginnings if you want to have a read:

EUOLogy: My History as a Writer

Basically, if you want to get better you have to do your homework. You have to learn, study, and apply, like anything else. And it will take time. It took J K Rowling five years just to plan Harry Potter. In five years all she did was plan and write notes. Then it took her another four years to write the first book and get it published.

This stuff takes time.

In many cases, I would say yes, push through the rough draft and get a working draft ready to fix. In your case, if you know there is already problems now, why not go back and fix them? I wrote the opening scenes to my story sixteen times.

Yep. Sixteen. Because they didn't feel right. I knew right out of the gate there were problems. It wasn't working. I wasn't connected to the characters or their plight. So I kept writing until I got it mostly right so I could keep going. Even now, I will write three our four chapters, but then go back and address large issues. Then move forward three or four chapters and then go back and address more large issues. It is a constant pendulum swaying back and forth back and forth.

If you want to be successful you need to take the time to learn how to write. Read craft books. Read blogs. Read articles. Listen to podcasts. Take courses. It is just as important as writing. You can write and write and write as much as you want but unless you are reflecting on your writing (as you are right now) and taking the time to learn how to fix it (as you are right now) and actually fixing it (which you seem hesitant to do) then you won't get better. You will keep practicing the same bad mistakes over and over again until they become entrenched habits.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

I would say different people have different ways of achieving the finish line. However, when this basic mantra is taken at its purest interpretation, I question it. There is, literally, no way I could write 100k words without editing/rewriting, hell, I don't often make it more than 3k words without going back over things at least a little. The advice, in my opinion, is useful for people who are frozen by editing/rewriting, some folks just need to plow ahead... others don't. I've seen people go full steam to complete a 100k word book and then! They are greeted with a 100k word mess, that's daunting, and many books die right there (that was my high school aged book, come to think of it). I'd prefer to refine 25k words over and over to find the right voice, than to stare at the 100k I would've written 2-3 years ago. I spent a couple years writing and rewriting the same story beginning (with months worth of breaks in between) until I picked up that chunk of words after a few months of not looking at it, and finally said, "Hey! I like that writing! I'd read that!" then I finished up 130k words in about 4-5 months. (I did intentionally go light on back story and description, which has come back to bite me, but it's still better than chopping out thousands of words that slowed stuff down, LOL.)

I don't give a crap how crappy today's writing is (or try not to), but once today's writing becomes yesterday's writing, I'm working on it. I read it, eliminate some typos, alter word choices and head slapping oddities, whatever comes to mind. This will kill some people's progress, but it's how I roll. Like all creative endeavors in life, it's a matter of finding what works for you.

Whatever happened to "get the first draft out and worry about fixing everything later?" This is confusing.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

I know, I know. I need to calm down. I'm sorry.

To be fair to myself I'm still reeling a bit from the last project. That one was two years of getting nowhere, and while I was trying desperately to figure out how to make that book work I wasn't growing as much as I could have as a writer. I wasn't WRITING. I did manage to acquire lots of fear and self-doubt, especially over revising (which, unfortunately, all of you just had to see...)

So, with this brand new project im having a little bit of an epiphany of..."Wait, I actually kind of suck at this." Because I've gained lots of experience writing, but none writing books. And writing books is a whole other animal than just writing pretty prose. My skill level isn't what it should have been if I had spent those two years writing books.

This, and the several I'm going to write following it, are practice. That doesn't mean I don't really like and enjoy the story and characters. But I am actually doing this for the learning process. I suppose I'm going to learn.

I ought to mention how I'm handling the revising so far. I'm not actually going back changing anything (besides minor things I can splice in easily, or changing things I wrote recently), but I'm keeping a "revision outline" as I write where I put all the things I know I'll need to change. Now, at this point, late in the story, I'm writing scenes with the assumption that those revisions already have been made (though physically, in the draft, they haven't.) that is, I'm not going with my original ideas all through the draft knowing I won't keep them. I pick up using them as soon as I can incorporate them, but I don't go back and change anything to fit. So...the first draft would be a little confusing to read at this point to say the least. My revision outline already includes many major revisions. My document is full of comments saying things like "Add X in" or "Figure out how to introduce Y" or "Change A to B."

It's...different, but I have several books planned out, and since my plan is to get better at writing, I have the idea that I'm going to approach each one in a different way to see which is best. The funny thing is that up until now I totally was the edit-as-you-go person. I would revise my stories as I wrote them. But now I'm trying something different. I don't know yet if it will work, but...

Character motivation is a pretty major part of the story, though...possibly too major for me to be able to handle these problems in the same way I've been handling the others. The dynamic between the MC's goals vs. the villain'a goals is COMPLETELY out of whack. They aren't acting as hero and villain.

1. Villain's plan doesn't really actually oppose the hero's goals. (If you could call her a hero.)

2. Hero's goals aren't clear.

Now, I feel that fixing this is not necessarily going to involve torching half the manuscript, because first of all, MC spends quite a portion of the story developing goals, learning to care about something outside herself. Throughout the story her vague desires (she wants to be loved, yes, but she's not willing to recognize this. She wants more than the hopeless life she has, but she doesn't know what or how.) take a more tangible shape. In the scene I'm on now, she's realizing the people around her actually care about her, and she...maybe?...actually cares about them. You observe that she doesn't seem to have a reason to live, and it's funny because I think that actually is one of her major drives. She WANTS a reason to live.

I think I mainly need to make alterations to the villain's plot...maybe? I need to make her a villain, basically. She has to oppose the MC. Aaaaaaand this is tough because at first the villain doesn't seem like such. MC is still figuring out her goals, and thinks, mistakenly, that the villain can give her what she wants. But then she realizes differently. I think the part where she realizes differently is where I'm majorly tripping because I haven't really figured out how the villain opposes the MC's goals. Sure, she has dark secrets. But she's not a villain right now. Her dark secrets don't directly threaten the MC and her goals.

Ok, this is really far away from the original post in terms of topic, but it does explain why this scene is boring me, lol...

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

I would say different people have different ways of achieving the finish line. However, when this basic mantra is taken at its purest interpretation, I question it. There is, literally, no way I could write 100k words without editing/rewriting, hell, I don't often make it more than 3k words without going back over things at least a little. The advice, in my opinion, is useful for people who are frozen by editing/rewriting, some folks just need to plow ahead... others don't. I've seen people go full steam to complete a 100k word book and then! They are greeted with a 100k word mess, that's daunting, and many books die right there (that was my high school aged book, come to think of it). I'd prefer to refine 25k words over and over to find the right voice, than to stare at the 100k I would've written 2-3 years ago. I spent a couple years writing and rewriting the same story beginning (with months worth of breaks in between) until I picked up that chunk of words after a few months of not looking at it, and finally said, "Hey! I like that writing! I'd read that!" then I finished up 130k words in about 4-5 months. (I did intentionally go light on back story and description, which has come back to bite me, but it's still better than chopping out thousands of words that slowed stuff down, LOL.)

I don't give a crap how crappy today's writing is (or try not to), but once today's writing becomes yesterday's writing, I'm working on it. I read it, eliminate some typos, alter word choices and head slapping oddities, whatever comes to mind. This will kill some people's progress, but it's how I roll. Like all creative endeavors in life, it's a matter of finding what works for you.

I do reread yesterdays writing and tinker with it every day to warm up. I've found weird stuff, lol. Sentences left unfinished, one word exchanged for another, stuff like that. So far the extent of the actual revising has been switching around two chapter beginnings (to introduce a plot point earlier), cutting the beginning of a chapter and starting it over, and splicing some information drops into dialogue.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Could it be it's an issue with your own expectations as a writer too? I think it's really easy to get the impression that action scenes are going to be awesome because there's a lot of stuff going on and the characters are doing cool and awesome things.

That doesn't have to be the case.

Helio mentioned intensity earlier, and I think that's a lot more important than the actual action. If an action scene feels dull/boring, maybe you could just speed through it very quickly, or skip it entirely?

Hmm. I actually dread writing them, because often it's just a play-by-play of action and it isn't really personal. Toward the beginning there's the only action scene I like: a knife fight. But I'm
not sure if that one has better goals/stakes/whatever or I just like knife fights.

(I like knife fights BECAUSE they're personal. They're up close, intense and intimate. My choice of weapons in a fight is usually either knives or plain fists because swords and guns just seem less personal. )

I'm also constantly feeling that either a) my MC is overpowered or b) her challenges are too wimpy. But, you know, she needs to survive the book...

 

[Demesnedenoir]

Hmm, while there is a tendency for guns to be seen as impersonal... Watch the movie Tombstone and try a writing exercise... write the Gunfight at the OK Corral scene as interpreted by this retelling. It isn't just everything leading up to this gunfight that make it personal, watch the details, listen to the details. The twitchy fingers, the look in eyes, Doc's wink, Wyatt's "no", and all hell breaks loose. This is an extremely personal scene.

Let's take firearms to a greater extreme, two snipers in WW2, Enemy at the Gates... a shot from several hundred yards might seem impersonal, but it isn't. The relationship between hunter and hunted can be extremely intense, that 9x scope can make things more personal than a knife fight. Imagine writing some of those scenes between the German and Russian snipers.

It's your approach that matters... a fist fight can be totally impersonal, or a bomb extremely personal. it's all a matter of how you write it.

Hmm. I actually dread writing them, because often it's just a play-by-play of action and it isn't really personal. Toward the beginning there's the only action scene I like: a knife fight. But I'm
not sure if that one has better goals/stakes/whatever or I just like knife fights.

(I like knife fights BECAUSE they're personal. They're up close, intense and intimate. My choice of weapons in a fight is usually either knives or plain fists because swords and guns just seem less personal. )

I'm also constantly feeling that either a) my MC is overpowered or b) her challenges are too wimpy. But, you know, she needs to survive the book...

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Hmm, while there is a tendency for guns to be seen as impersonal... Watch the movie Tombstone and try a writing exercise... write the Gunfight at the OK Corral scene as interpreted by this retelling. It isn't just everything leading up to this gunfight that make it personal, watch the details, listen to the details. The twitchy fingers, the look in eyes, Doc's wink, Wyatt's "no", and all hell breaks loose. This is an extremely personal scene.

Let's take firearms to a greater extreme, two snipers in WW2, Enemy at the Gates... a shot from several hundred yards might seem impersonal, but it isn't. The relationship between hunter and hunted can be extremely intense, that 9x scope can make things more personal than a knife fight. Imagine writing some of those scenes between the German and Russian snipers.

It's your approach that matters... a fist fight can be totally impersonal, or a bomb extremely personal. it's all a matter of how you write it.

True. I remember a short story titled "The Sniper" that played with this.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

I'm also constantly feeling that either a) my MC is overpowered or b) her challenges are too wimpy. But, you know, she needs to survive the book...

This is an interesting one... the overpowered MC... is your character always winning? Not just surviving? What precisely creates the sense you are feeling? I can't say since I haven't read anything of yours at length.

 

[Heliotrope]

Yeah, it's not proximity that makes something personal. A bomb carried by a drone from a thousand miles away can be personal if we care about the victim and understand the implications of their demise.

Ask yourself "if my character died, or simply walked away from the conflict, would it matter? Or would the story still be be same? Could someone else step in for my character and achieve the same outcome?"

If the answer is yes you have a problem. Your character needs to be pivitol to the plot. That can't ever be able to simply walk away. If they can die or walk away you need to spend some time evaluating the stakes.

It doesn't matter if it is hand to hand combat or guns, if the character doesn't matter to the reader or the plot it won't ever feel "personal".

 

[Chessie]

The play-by-play is the problem. Take that out and focus on emotions. The play-by-play is a wrong approach to any scene, let alone a fighting one. You don't need battle scenes in order to create tension for readers. I stay the heck away from battle scenes. You won't find any in my books. Why? Because they are my ultimate weakness...because I loathe them. I skip over them when I read. I yawn when they come on television. I seriously don't care. So I don't write them.

You have other strengths as a writer worth exploring. Sit down and really analyze where YOU build the best tension in your stories. Work on those elements of storytelling that are true to you. Battles may not be your thing and guess what? Not all fantasy books call for those.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I hear you so much. This is a really tough thing to work on. And I don't think it's just "action scenes" necessarily, I'd prefer to call them scenes that are meant to feel active. Like, I can write a fun contemplative scene that I enjoy very much...but then I get feedback it sucks and is dull. Whoops.

But action scenes are meant to get a reader's heart rate up. They're meant to be intense and energetic. But you have to have something potentially able to go really wrong. You have to have a reason why it matters to the character. And I'm not talking about a fight, necessarily. I'm in the middle of a sort of graphic intimate scene right now, and my characters are high and it's doubly tricky to go through someone's head during a surprise sexual encounter, and then also make sure her thoughts are properly muddled...but also clear enough that most readers will understand exactly what kind of high she's feeling. OMG. Tricky. I have a lot on my plate in this one scene.

I can't tell you what to do, but I'll show you my process. Hopefully it'll help you devise a similar strategy?

When I decided this was what I wanted to do here, I first set up the preceding scene. The MC learns that she's been cut out of an opportunity. An opportunity she's been waiting months for. Her whole goal was hinging on her getting paid off on this one big job, and then she was leaving town. 25k words spent all on that goal of her being finally able to leave her crime boss and live a better life.

So when she hears she's not getting the job (because she messed something up and her crime boss thinks she's losing her edge), she storms into his room and starts in with some unkind words.

Well, leading up to her learning about being cut out of the job, she woke in a weird place, under bad circumstances, and pretty much for several days, her life has been spiraling out of control (a devastating feeling for a control freak bipolar woman who can't seem to figure out what makes her happy).

So, when she goes to meet her crime boss, she's rude and angry, and he offers her an intoxicating substance she was once addicted to, and I decided that she was going to do what I do when I feel things are slipping from my control: She was going to purposely lose control because she'd rather break her toys than find them broken. She takes the drugs, answers her benefactor's questions about her recent sloppiness, and when he accuses her of doing something dangerous, she acts in a rather extreme way, which leads to their brief intimate encounter.

The reason I chose to do this is because of how I set up their relationship. He hasn't touched her in the twelve years she's lived with him. That means for them to touch now...it means something. Something different is happening. Something unexpected, out of control, and intense. When you do something new, it's more intense than something you've done a hundred times. That was the feeling I wanted to give. I think that's one of the reasons it's more interesting when our characters aren't good at some things, make mistakes, don't plan, even.

So, because of the nature of my scene, I have a couple real challenges. First of all, which words I want to use, which metaphors I want to draw, which actions I want to show and which I want to allude to. Not to mention, in her head, all the thoughts are blending and her brain firing super fast (I'm writing it like a super high manic episode). She makes some realizations, personal ones and about her crime boss. Internal thoughts do not slow the pace of an active scene to a crawl, necessarily. I love to use internal thoughts to balance out the actions that take only a second to perform. Consider highlighting all your "Movements" in one color and your "Thoughts" in another color, just to see how balanced it is. Physical descriptors quickly become tedious and repetitive, but thoughts can spread them out so they don't feel choppy or belabored.

Okies, last thing. I'm not saying my scene's good. People will hate it and think it overdone or too graphic, or whatever. I don't care. I enjoy it, it does the job I want it to, and after I send it to my crit group, I know it'll either sink to the bottom and get cut, or it'll float to the top and be one of my favorites. Feedback is so very important. Maybe find just one other person who will be your steady, devoted partner, who you really trust and respect. I had to send this thing last night to get some kind of gauge on whether I had any of the impact at all that I was trying for. If not for that feedback that I'm headed in the right direction, I would have worried about it for another week, I'm sure. I'm terribly mortified to send an intense scene to my group, but just having one person tell me it's okay and I'm okay...it just deflates the anxiety bubble that's been building around my head for a week already.

And honestly, this scene didn't exist in the first draft, it wasn't planned in this draft, it all came about because I lost my mind during nano and did some things, and made some things worse, and asked, "What would make this situation (waking under weird circumstances) worse?" And one of my friends said it would definitely be worse if her crime boss found out about it and distrusted her. And OMG! I ran with it, and my whole chapter became alive where it was stagnant and rotten before. Ask yourself what would make this action worse. What would make it matter more to the MC (who is selfish and a bit of an emotional void, I understand). Find something that does matter. Something new. Something very small, even, but crucially important to her.

Best wishes!

 

[Caged Maiden]

Skip, I want to read your book.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I just wanted to share this example of a sword duel. I hope it illustrates what I mean about internal thoughts interspersed with action. Sorry if it's rough, still a draft.

From out of the shadows, a man with an axe approached, dressed in the same style as the other Fjeri, and flanked by two Kanassan men. Vincenzo recognized one of them from the card house, a spectator who had accepted his free beer. The bearded brute before him pulled an axe from his belt while the other two foreigners drew clunky swords.

Mercurio, a step behind, put his hand on his pommel. “Last chance, signor, or I’ll clean up what they leave behind. A few florins for your safety?”

Vincenzo smiled. “Watch and learn. I was swaggering through these streets with a buckler and blade before you were a glimmer in your father’s eye.” He drew polished steel and assumed a low ward, still out of measure but ready to close in on his target.

The bearded man hefted his axe, bringing it over his head. Sure, it might appear more intimidating but he’d be at a disadvantage against a fast opponent. First blood, Vincenzo told himself. Killing green fighters, even bold, stupid ones, verged on disgrace. The foreigners fanned out. Grossly outnumbering him, they exuded an air of confidence. Vincenzo maintained his posture, presenting the smallest target possible.

A burly foreigner wielding a sabre swung first, a sloppy slashing motion utilizing shoulder strength but little skill. Vincenzo shifted his weight and let the blade pass harmlessly by. While the attacker recovered from the momentum of his miss, Vincenzo caught one of the rapiers against his blade, twisting his wrist to immobilize his opponent with his quillons. Vincenzo punched the swashbuckler on the chin for good measure, watching him drop to a knee.

Still hoping to avoid deadly force, Vincenzo grabbed the fallen sword with the toe of his boot and flung it up. Dueling, for as much as it appeared a test of physical strength, was more a mental game. Opponents could easily be demoralized when they saw they were outmatched. Sometimes, it was more effective than showing them their own blood. Worth a try, anyways. He caught the blade in his left hand. István and his bearded friend grimaced, unimpressed as Vincenzo spun the two blades over his head and brought them to bear.

He used the light sword like a dagger, low and to the outside. Regaining his stance, Vincenzo advanced toward the bearded fellow, obvious leader of the band. Never one to deny stupid men the chance to learn a lesson, he prepared as his attackers all came at him as one. The four governors: timing, perception, distance and technique, were less a conscious strategy and more an instinct. Hundreds of hours spent in practice against well-trained opponents, ensured gut reactions were the right calls. Counters to every movement an opponent made, predictions of action based on the smallest twitch. Even in the dark street, Vincenzo could decipher enough indicators to know which men hesitated and which were confident enough to strike first.

István’s friend and the other hired local darted in simultaneously. While the sword proved an easy parry, the weight of the foreigner’s axe carried Vincenzo’s left hand off line, that arm being notably weaker after an old injury. Vincenzo disengaged the axe and retreated to regroup. With senses heightened from adrenaline, he caught the sound of shuffling feet behind and narrowly dodged an incoming axe. He regretted giving the men a chance to walk away. If he attacked first, one would have been dead before the others reacted. Perhaps he had grown soft with age.

Loathing being called an old man, even by himself, Vincenzo beckoned for vitality he knew he still possessed–even after years spent telling himself he had nothing to prove. Lies. The sacrifices he made were the price of freedom. After all, what good did a seat in the senate do for a man who felt more comfortable in a sweaty shirt than a velvet doublet?

Vincenzo pushed back the bearded leader. Flexing the muscles in his better arm, he pounded the flat of his blade against the axe handle, right under the head, jarring the wood shaft in his opponent’s grip. He sidestepped as the local swordsman lunged, catching Vincenzo’s leather doublet with the tip of his sword, but scoring no wound.

He had given everything up to join the Radan church, forsaken an education for the opportunity to become a man of the cloth. And where had it gotten him? Thrown out on his ass when he refused to see things Marcello’s way.

The frustrated miner retreated when Vincenzo bound up his axe and stripped it from his hands.

Vincenzo didn’t have a chance to press forward, the swordsman lunging again. Dancing the scandiaglio, Vincenzo feinted and probed to test his adversary. Perhaps it was a bit indulgent, the amount of flourish he put into his movements, but just then, he felt ready to prove something–maybe only to himself. After Marcello decided Vincenzo was more valuable as a weapon than a spiritual leader, he presented a choice: work as a glorified guard or remain a nameless priest forever under Vescovo Ranosi or Vescovo Vioni. Vincenzo took the only choice he thought he had and signed on as Marcello’s personal mercenary.

But he wasn’t hired muscle, or even a priest any longer. Years of loyalty washed away as soon as Vincenzo refused to murder one of his friends. Near the age of forty, he took up his blade for himself for the first time. Men like Massoli didn’t offer a retirement security, but they paid well and always had work for a swordsman embittered by the world.

Vincenzo reverted to a low guard, turning up his knuckles on his left hand to use the flat of the blade to parry. The hired swordsman disengaged Vincenzo’s parrying blade and almost scored a touch to the slow left arm, but Vincenzo pushed in with his right, trying to slip under the buckler. It wouldn’t do to distract himself with laments for his lost life. Dueling angry was a fatal mistake. He filled his lungs with air and darted in, sneaking in a quick lunge and recovery, and crouching lower to avoid the buckler aimed at his face.

Time seemed to slow as Vincenzo pressed forward, striking. His opponent gave ground, unable to block every thrust and cut. Bleeding from two gashes, one at the elbow and the other at his hip, the swordsman’s movements became frantic.

“Yield,” Vincenzo said, sweeping his opponent’s blade off line again and lunging. His sword struck the shoulder. The buckler clanged onto the cobblestones.

I don't know if it's at all engaging to someone who hasn't read the fifteen chapters that lead up to this, but I feel like the internal thoughts a character have during a tense moment are really important. What do they think about during a fight, a fall, a heist, sex, coming home to find their family gone? Those thoughts are really important to readers because they're often the most honest. Vincenzo is in his forties, a lifelong swordsman and rather cocky about his skills. He is showing off in part for a young swordsman who offered to protect him for pay. But as Vincenzo realizes he's no longer in his prime, his body is getting slower from injuries and wear, he thinks about a life he once had and the choices he made that led him to where he is now--an escaped criminal who got cut down off the gallows on his birthday. He lives in an empty stable and has horse shit on his holy boots. Not a great turnout for a senator who gave up his seat in the senate to be a priest.

 

[Malik]

You can also show thoughts, action, and even motion during a fight sequence without detailing it blow by blow. This is a passage from Dragon's Trail in which a former Olympic-hopeful sabreur (Jarrod) goes up against a castle's master trainer (Argyul) with wooden swords.

Note that while you can still see everything that happens -- all the detail is there -- not once does this passage use this guy did THIS, then that guy did THAT, then this guy did THIS, then that guy did THAT.

Argyul stayed just out of long attacking distance, blade covering the high inside line in tierce, slightly extended, body almost square. But Jarrod had seen that a thousand times. Standard play against a short southpaw. With a stomp and an “Et la-a!!” Jarrod tore into him.

Argyul seemed more ready this time, and the conversation of the blades began.

Argyul’s bladework was an amalgam of techniques familiar to Jarrod, but none that he had ever seen used together. It wasn’t quite rapier fencing, not quite longsword combat.

His attacks were long, straight, and simple, which Jarrod expected from someone his size. Like many tall swordsmen, Argyul’s strides were overly large—covering distance quickly was to a taller fighter’s advantage—so Argyul’s composure went to hell for a moment whenever he was forced to change direction.

During the initial exchanges Jarrod keyed in on the older man’s predilection for semi-circular parries and cutover attacks, noting also his Marozzo-esque bent toward anticipatory maneuvers, his overuse of tierce, and his general lack of pointwork except for a near-textbook Agrippa thrust delivered by throwing the shoulder forward and slipping the rear foot back. Jarrod adjusted for all this, deferred to Fabris to wring the most mileage from the off-hand mail glove, and pressed the attack. He thwarted the parries with doubles, over-utilized envelopments just to prove that he could, and built his fight around a series of elaborate feints which he knew from past experience raised all kinds of hell with guys who anticipate.

In a real fight he’d be nicking the edges of the blade by now, but he tried to keep his parries below the balance in case Argyul brought it up.

Argyul didn’t bring it up. He was too busy swearing.​

Not all my fight scenes are this technical, but the technicality is also the point; this is through the protagonist's eyes. The point of the scene is for us to see what he sees, so that for the first time in the book, we get a sense for just how good he is, how his mind works, and how much he knows about swordsmanship.

What I'm getting at is, there's not any one moment actually described in this entire sparring match, yet you can still see the action very clearly. So, it's another way to tackle fight scenes. You don't always have to write the choreography. But hey, YMMV.