Michael Roy
New Member
I have a story finished up, but I'm reconsidering making some major edits. I came up with two potions that could give mortals (aka humans) temporary powers in this story.
One called Immortalem Interficere allows a mortal person the power to kill an immortal person for 24 hours. The catch is that they visit a Pool of Death and give up half their soul to get a black paste to complete the potion. (Their soul would become corrupted, their health will diminish rapidly, and they'll die in about half the time.) It also acts like a poison if you get one thing wrong in its brewing.
Another potion that I'm considering taking out of the story completely is Immortales Praesidium. It's supposed to be the opposite of the former potion; this one would not make you stronger per se but instead, keep you from dying for 24 hours. (Ex: If someone dropped from 50 feet, they are less susceptible to dying.)
The problem with this one is I don't think it has high enough stakes. For it, the ingredients are very rare, the amounts of them must be perfect, you need holy water from monks (which requires a day of prayer with them to attain), and you'll be deathly ill for two weeks if you get one thing wrong. You won't die from getting it wrong like the Immortalem Interficere potion. I also fear that it acts as a deus ex machina in my story, where Agatha (who is immortal) fights the antagonists in the underworld with her mortal friends. They would take the Immortales Praesidium for temporary immortality to help her out. I don't want it to feel like I have the potion solely to advance the plot.
I thought about requiring that they must get a Heart of Gold from a Pool of Life (which is an idea I've already come up with) and only allowing the one who visits the pool to get the heart one time. But I don't know if it'd be enough to raise the stakes of creating that Immortales Praesidium potion. I also was thinking of replacing it with a super-strength potion, too. But then I feel like to me, it'd take away from the light vs dark theme I was going for: A potion allowing you to kill immortals, and a potion that makes you immortal temporarily. I also don't know if kids taking super-strength potions to fight immortal demons would be believable.
I'd like to know everyone's thoughts on giving mortals immortality traits and if that would be too OP or if you think it'd diminish the point of immortality. I wanted to make a story with an immortal child as the protagonist. But it's a lot harder to pull off than I thought. Lol.
One called Immortalem Interficere allows a mortal person the power to kill an immortal person for 24 hours. The catch is that they visit a Pool of Death and give up half their soul to get a black paste to complete the potion. (Their soul would become corrupted, their health will diminish rapidly, and they'll die in about half the time.) It also acts like a poison if you get one thing wrong in its brewing.
Another potion that I'm considering taking out of the story completely is Immortales Praesidium. It's supposed to be the opposite of the former potion; this one would not make you stronger per se but instead, keep you from dying for 24 hours. (Ex: If someone dropped from 50 feet, they are less susceptible to dying.)
The problem with this one is I don't think it has high enough stakes. For it, the ingredients are very rare, the amounts of them must be perfect, you need holy water from monks (which requires a day of prayer with them to attain), and you'll be deathly ill for two weeks if you get one thing wrong. You won't die from getting it wrong like the Immortalem Interficere potion. I also fear that it acts as a deus ex machina in my story, where Agatha (who is immortal) fights the antagonists in the underworld with her mortal friends. They would take the Immortales Praesidium for temporary immortality to help her out. I don't want it to feel like I have the potion solely to advance the plot.
I thought about requiring that they must get a Heart of Gold from a Pool of Life (which is an idea I've already come up with) and only allowing the one who visits the pool to get the heart one time. But I don't know if it'd be enough to raise the stakes of creating that Immortales Praesidium potion. I also was thinking of replacing it with a super-strength potion, too. But then I feel like to me, it'd take away from the light vs dark theme I was going for: A potion allowing you to kill immortals, and a potion that makes you immortal temporarily. I also don't know if kids taking super-strength potions to fight immortal demons would be believable.
I'd like to know everyone's thoughts on giving mortals immortality traits and if that would be too OP or if you think it'd diminish the point of immortality. I wanted to make a story with an immortal child as the protagonist. But it's a lot harder to pull off than I thought. Lol.