Plot questions

[Rakesh87]

Hi there,
I'm glad to be here on this forum. My name is Rakesh, and I'm from a place called Kerala, deep down in southern India. I speak and write in a language called Malayalam, spoken by over 3 crore people.

I intend to write a space saga,one of the firsts in my language. The story takes place in a planet light years away and a group of people would migrate to a desert in this planet from the earth. They create a new civilization by erasing all the memories they had. Then the leader would assume the title of the supreme spiritual leader.

They will eventually face raids from a variety of alien races such as the diamond people,the plant people,the lizard people etc. It will culminate in an intergalactic civil war.

I'd like to know how do you find my plot. Any type of suggestions are welcome so that I can improve.

Thank you.

 

[pmmg]

Howdy Rakesh87, welcome here.

If you are not a native English speaker, I cannot tell from your writing.

I think your plot is fine. Just one the surface, it conjures for me images of Flash Gordon with the clay people and bird people.

 

[Queshire]

My main question is why they would choose to settle in a desert rather than someplace more hospitable?

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Welcome, Rakesh. I think your premise sounds sweeping and grand. Let's see what it looks like on the page. Good luck!

 

[Rakesh87]

My main question is why they would choose to settle in a desert rather than someplace more hospitable?

When they get down in to this planet, the more hospitable places were inhabited by another hostile race. And the Siho, the supreme leader, wanted some secrecy too. It's more related to my childhood. I don't know why but when I was around 9 I wanted to create a country in a desert by migrating at least 25000 people. I decided I would delete their memories and inject a language like Esperanto. Then I'd create literary works and songs in my constructed language.
Little did I know I was thinking sci fi back then.

Iam just incorporating this childhood experience in to my story.

Thank you for asking.

 

[Rakesh87]

Howdy Rakesh87, welcome here.

If you are not a native English speaker, I cannot tell from your writing.

I think your plot is fine. Just one the surface, it conjures for me images of Flash Gordon with the clay people and bird people.

Thank you so much. Is it? I think the imageries change once I'll start putting them on paper.

 

[Rakesh87]

Welcome, Rakesh. I think your premise sounds sweeping and grand. Let's see what it looks like on the page. Good luck!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm so excited to write it.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

When they get down in to this planet, the more hospitable places were inhabited by another hostile race. And the Siho, the supreme leader, wanted some secrecy too. It's more related to my childhood. I don't know why but when I was around 9 I wanted to create a country in a desert by migrating at least 25000 people. I decided I would delete their memories and inject a language like Esperanto. Then I'd create literary works and songs in my constructed language.
Little did I know I was thinking sci fi back then.

Iam just incorporating this childhood experience in to my story.

Thank you for asking.

I don't know how advanced a conlanger you are, but this is an excellent launching point if you're fairly new. I don't conlang (create constructed languages), but I appreciate them and love this book.

Amazon.com: The Art of Language Invention: From Horse-Lords to Dark Elves to Sand Worms, the Words Behind World-Building eBook : Peterson, David J.: Kindle Store

 

[ThinkerX]

My main suggestion would be that your migrants were only one of several groups of humans to leave earth for this planet. The other earth humans arrived first and claimed the prime real estate.

As to the aliens, you need to make some decisions.

Primitive savages with the equivalent of spears and chariots? (aka true natives)

An elder race with all but incomprehensible technology (almost like magic) but fallen from greatness? (Meaning they can no longer repair or create their wondrous devices, and the old mechanisms may not be functioning all that well)

Opportunists or outcasts from a race with a technological level comparable to the humans?

Combinations of these are certainly possible.

 

[Rakesh87]

I don't know how advanced a conlanger you are, but this is an excellent launching point if you're fairly new. I don't conlang (create constructed languages), but I appreciate them and love this book.

Amazon.com: The Art of Language Invention: From Horse-Lords to Dark Elves to Sand Worms, the Words Behind World-Building eBook : Peterson, David J.: Kindle Store

Thank you so much for mentioning the book. I have just started working on my language.

 

[Rakesh87]

My main suggestion would be that your migrants were only one of several groups of humans to leave earth for this planet. The other earth humans arrived first and claimed the prime real estate.

As to the aliens, you need to make some decisions.

Primitive savages with the equivalent of spears and chariots? (aka true natives)

An elder race with all but incomprehensible technology (almost like magic) but fallen from greatness? (Meaning they can no longer repair or create their wondrous devices, and the old mechanisms may not be functioning all that well)

Opportunists or outcasts from a race with a technological level comparable to the humans?

Combinations of these are certainly possible.

I think the second race you have mentioned is more plausible. The ones who have fallen from greatness. That will make them more ruthless and a threat to the human colony.
Thank you so much for the suggestions.

 

[Phietadix]

Was the plan to erase everyone's memories something that had been the settlers' plan from the beginning, or was it something that was forced upon them without their knowledge?

If the former, then what were the settlers' reasons for wanting this? If the latter, then is there any possibility that they eventually learn what was done to them?

 

[Rakesh87]

Was the plan to erase everyone's memories something that had been the settlers' plan from the beginning, or was it something that was forced upon them without their knowledge?

If the former, then what were the settlers' reasons for wanting this? If the latter, then is there any possibility that they eventually learn what was done to them?

It was the plan of their supreme leader who is known as the Siho. He is the ubermensch, mentioned in the works of Nietzsche. He wanted to create a race of supermen. They were mostly convicts taken from earth. They would learn about what had happened to them at a later stage and rebel.
Thank you so much.

 

[FifthView]

Do you intend for the story to start shortly prior to this migration? Just after the migration has happened? Some time after the migrants have established their home? (Is the info you've given us merely background information for these people?)

I don't see much of a plot here yet. I would need to know where you intend to begin the story and, tied to that, what the stakes are. Otherwise, I just have mostly setting, some world building. Basically, I have the premise for the milieu but....no story and no plot yet.

Also, who are the characters? Not the long list of the whole cast but the point of view characters? Whose story is this? I find that creating a plot requires knowing who will be most affected, who will be doing most of the work within the main plotline, what are the stakes for that person or small set of individuals? These questions will introduce goals, efforts, risks and rewards into the consideration and will begin to give some shape to the plot.

 

[pmmg]

Well...then I'll say the story seems to have good bones. Easy enough to build a plot and characters on. Given that its origin is the setting, it would be a different approach then I have taken. I tend to start with characters.

Coincidentally, I am reading Nietzsche right now. I can see where he might lead to some strong willed human power type thinking, but I find him talking past the sale a lot. Thus spoke Zarathustra would be followed with Thus spoke pmmg if I were one of the characters in his book. What about him inspired your want for this?

 

[Mist Dragon]

You might want to consider the reasons why the other aliens would attack the humans. The generic 'invaders' to the planet idea might be ok for one, but if there are more than one intelligent race on the planet already, then that reasoning becomes a bit more week. Do the humans attack one of them, do they come to trade or try and understand the new creatures on their world and have a misunderstanding, or possibly one side or the other attacks for some silly reason? Being a big reader of scifi, I find that the more intricate or complex reasons for things is more interesting than the common ones. So many scifi wars were because humans shot first and didn't bother to try and talk, and that plot type is pretty much cliche at this point.

Also you should really think about who your pov characters are, since that is the people whom your reader will be viewing your world and story from, and I find that they can often times change things based on how the story is seen through their eyes. Once you start to view the story that way, it tends to show you the problems you may have with some of your setting ideas. Simple things you might not think of in general. Where do they get water, material to build structures, food, other things that we use to live? These types of things are important if you are an isolated human colony in the middle of a sandy desert.

 

[PirateMorg]

Hi there,
I'm glad to be here on this forum. My name is Rakesh, and I'm from a place called Kerala, deep down in southern India. I speak and write in a language called Malayalam, spoken by over 3 crore people.

I intend to write a space saga,one of the firsts in my language. The story takes place in a planet light years away and a group of people would migrate to a desert in this planet from the earth. They create a new civilization by erasing all the memories they had. Then the leader would assume the title of the supreme spiritual leader.

They will eventually face raids from a variety of alien races such as the diamond people,the plant people,the lizard people etc. It will culminate in an intergalactic civil war.

I'd like to know how do you find my plot. Any type of suggestions are welcome so that I can improve.

Thank you.

You know, at first, I started to think the plot sounded crazy...but after reading through the comments here and seeing you explain things, it's definitely a sci-fi I would read and get into. I can't even deny that. It's a good idea and good plot line (and I tend to stay away from sci-fi!) I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to encourage you and send some good vibes your way. I hope you write this book and get it out there!