Present tense convert

[Incanus]

Up until just a few days ago, I might have thought and said that it was unlikely a great story could be told in present tense. I wasn’t 100% against it, just that I’d never seen anything very good written in this tense.

No longer.

I just picked up a brand new book by an author I’ve been following for decades: The King’s Justice by Stephen R. Donaldson. It is a book of two novellas. I’ve only just started reading the first one and found it’s written in present tense (also omniscient POV). So far, it is absolutely fantastic. I love everything about this story, including the tense/POV. Totally hooked, but I’m going to savor it.

I’m a believer now.

I suppose that it just took seeing a very skilled writer handling this tense for me to appreciate it. I doubt I’ll be trying it myself anytime soon, though I’ll consider doing it for future short stories maybe. Before I do, it would probably be wise to see it in action a few more times though.

On a side note, unless I’m mistaken, I’ve read every book with this author’s name on it, most of them more than once. In my opinion, only the Covenant books are better than his shorts and novellas.

So, has anyone read anything particularly awesome that was written in present tense lately?

 

[Heliotrope]

Yeah, Margaret Attwood's Oryx and Crake jumps between present tense (Snowman's actions right now) and past tense (Snowman remembering his past) and it is fantastic.

Snowman wakes before dawn. He lies unmoving, listening to the tide coming in, wave after wave sloshing over the various barricades, wish-wash, wish-wash, the rhythm of a heartbeat. He would so like to believe he is still asleep.

On the eastern horizon there's a greyish haze, lit now with a rosy, deadly glow. Strange how the colour still seems tender. The offshore towers stand out in dark silhouette against it, rising improbably out of the pink an pale blue of the lagoon. The shrieks of the birds that nest out there and the distant ocean grinding agains the ersatz reefs of rusted car parts and jumbled bricks and assorted rubble sound almost like holiday traffic.

Out of habit he looks at his watch - stainless steel case, burnished aluminum band, still shiny although it no longer works. He wears it now as his only talisman. A blank face is what it shows him: zero hour. It causes a jolt of terror to run through him, this absence of official time. Nobody nowhere knows what time it is.

Ohhhhhhhhhh….. LOVE LOVE LOVE present tense

 

[Caged Maiden]

You know, the one thing I've noticed about present tense, is that when it's done well, it flows exactly as I expect a deep third past to flow, with all the same things hit upon and all the same tone and style. So, in that respect, it's maybe as simple as exchanging the "-ed" words for "-s" words, and leave all the rest the same? However, when it's done badly, it grates on me way worse than a poorly done past tense, maybe just because I can envision some other person telling me the story in past tense, like it already happened and is an account of another person? With present tense, I'm FORCED to feel like I'm the character choosing to make the weak observations right now, and it feels like I'm held captive in something I didn't sign up for. Sort of why I like first person, because it brings you closer to the action as a reader, but that only works if...well...if it works.

I've read about a dozen examples of present tense, four were crits I did for other folks (and a couple of them were good), and the rest were ebooks I "looked inside", and not one of those was good. Not engaging, despite the fact that it was coincidentally present tense. I mean, if the story had been in past tense, the work would have been just as jarringly bad, so I'm not blaming present tense, just saying it's a style that can come off as pretentious on top of bad, when it's done poorly. And so often, there are tense slips, which sort of makes my inner writer mind explode in an angry tirade.

I'll have to check out the books you guys mentioned, because I really want to see what the good results produce, but I'm sort of soured on the weak examples. Just not my cup of tea, so far. But then again, I didn't like first person a few years ago (after some horrid examples in which sentences were either belabored descriptions or "I" statements), and then I looked inside one of my favorite books and discovered...IT WAS FIRST PERSON! and I started writing all my shorts in first person because I loved it so much.

Man, all the choices are plagued by the same rule: "Do it well!" Omniscience, FPOV, deep third, multiple third, present tense, all of it. I don't think any of it makes or breaks a good story, except poor execution.

 

[Incanus]

Great point CM. I think in all the 'bad' present tense I've seen so far, it was all the other aspects of mediocre writing that were the culprits, and not the tense itself. Because, holy crap, what I'm reading now is just badass--at least in my view.

Thanks for sharing that bit of Attwood, Helio. It's pretty good. I'll have to keep her in mind for future reading, though she doesn't seem to write in my favorite genres.

So here's a sample of the first half-page or so from The King's Justice:


The man rides his horse along the old road through the forest in a rain as heavy as a damask curtain–a rain that makes dusk of midafternoon. The downpour, windless, strikes him from the long slash of open sky that the road cuts through the trees. It makes a sound like a waterfall among the leaves and branches, a damp roar that deafens him to the slap of his mount’s hooves. Ahead it blinds him to the road’s future. But he is not concerned. He knows where he is going. The broad brim of his leather hat and the oiled canvas of his cloak spare him from the worst of the wet, and in any case he has ridden in more frightening weather, less natural elements. His purpose is clear.

Shrouded by the deluge and covered by his dark gear, he looks as black as the coming night–a look that suits him, though he does not think about such things. Having come so far on this journey, and on many others, he hardly thinks at all as he rides. Brigands are no threat to him, even cutthroats desperate enough to hunt in this rain. Only his destination matters, but even that does not require thought. It will not until he reaches it.

 

[Heliotrope]

Oh my gosh! So good.

See, this is what I love about present tense is the immediacy.

I wonder if that is because I come from the movie generation? To me, present tense is more like watching a movie. It feels like it is happening in front of my eyes 'right now' as opposed to me being 'told' something that has already happened. I feel like a bigger part of the action, because it is happening now, and we don't know the outcome, vs. "This did happen, and I'm telling you after the fact, so obviously everyone ended up Ok."

I don't know. I just know I like it.

I love, love, love Atwood's writing style, though she doesn't write in my favourite genres either. I've tried some of her historical drama and it is good, but not something I would read again. Oryx and Crake, however, I would recommend to anyone. It is very science fiction/dystopian and very strange and wonderful and fulfilling and leaves you with that empty feeling after it is done. The sequels I didn't like as much (Year of the Flood and MadAdam) but this one is pure magic.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Wow, see both your guys' examples are really engaging and interesting. That's what I shoot for when I write deep third, though, so when I read a passage that's just weaker (as in not mentioning the rain is like a damask curtain ), it just feels weak, and a lot of how newer writers write just makes it sound worse in present tense. I mean, if you throw out the strong elements of both the passages you two shared, it isn't the same, is it? HA!

Yeah, I'm not against present tense, I'm against knowing every little thing a character is doing "right now" because the writer can't separate things into important and not important. Because when that happens in past tense, we all kind of roll our eyes and say, "well, it can be pared down later," but when it's in present, it feels like someone's grinding their fiddle bow up past the bridge, right in my ear. It makes me shudder and grit my teeth, and then I quite literally get a headache from reading it.

 

[Incanus]

See, this is what I love about present tense is the immediacy.

I haven't read much present tense yet, but the funny thing is, in what I'm reading now, between the omniscient POV and the present tense there is a certain amount of detachment. There is a very definite 'narrator' voice here. So it's not what I would call immediate.

This story is most excellent, but I'm not quite sure I understand how it works--but working it is. This POV/tense combo is creating a feel I've never before encountered, and it's got me pleasantly confused and intrigued. That's one reason I'm reading it so slowly. I'd really like to understand how this author is pulling this off. I notice that the MC of this story is curiously detached, so this method of narration really fits. Whether or not it is something I'd ever use, there is something to learn here.

One more item of interest: I've seen this author use unusual POVs previously. I kid you not--one of his early novellas is written in first-person plural. So instead of 'I', it is 'we' (though it is really used as a framing device because it is a crowd in a tavern listening to someone tell a tale, and the bulk of the story is the tale within the tale, which is necessarily first person singular).

Anyway, one thing is for certain: this author fully exploits the implications of POV and tense to great effect.

 

[Chessie]

I've tried to read several books with present tense and couldn't finish them. Nope. Not for me. I can, however, appreciate the author trying out a creative approach to writing their story. But first person and present tense I doubt would ever work for me. It takes away my ability to achieve a personal perspective on the book. With first person, it feels like I'm being forced to see things a certain way. Present tense drives me insane when I read it...not sure why that is.

 

[Incanus]

^^ That was me, up until a couple of days ago. I never thought I would like a present tense story. The King's Justice is kicking my butt, though; I stand pole-axed. Just to be clear--this particular story is not in first-person, it is third-person omniscient, present tense.

 

[Svrtnsse]

In Emma's Story I'm swapping back and forth between past and present tense. Most of the important events are written in past tense, and the less important bits that tie them together are written in present tense. It's probably about a quarter or a fifth of the story that's in present tense in this way.

It was good fun trying it out and I don't mind giving it another go if I get a story where it fits. Feedback from beta readers has been positive.

I also tried to give the present tense parts their own narrative voice, so that it's not just the tense that's shifting, but the entire style of narration. This turned out to be more of a challenge than maintaining the tense. The further I got into the story, the easier it became to slip into some kind of sing-song rhythm, with lots of rhyming and repetitions, which is something I often had to rein in not to overdo.

 

[Incanus]

Interesting, Svrtnsse. I'm wondering: are you separating the different tenses with line breaks or chapter breaks or something, or are you just gliding straight into and out of them? (I'm guessing the former.)

And BTW, I think trying to give those sections a different narrative flavor above and beyond the tense change is a very, very good idea, at least theoretically.

 

[Svrtnsse]

The sections are separated by section/scene, and I put a little marker in to denote that one scene ends and another begins. Here's an example:

Her friends. They smile and wave and as she sits down they trade jokes and laughs. The man orders her a cider and she does not object. She wants whiskey, but she does not want a scene, and there is nothing wrong with cider, is there?

- - -​

Emma sipped her drink, cold and refreshing in the warm humidity of the inn. She set her mug down, leaned back in her chair, and let her head fall back. It was good to sit down for a bit.

The first bit is the ending of a section of present tense (so there's more of it before that). This is just to show the principle. I think the difference in voice comes through though. A lot of it went by feel, but one of the conscious decisions I made for getting a different voice for the present tense was to not use any contractions. So it's does not and is not instead of doesn't and isn't.

 

[Heliotrope]

Off topic slightly: You know what grates on me like nails on a chalkboard? Cliche phrasing. Whenever I read "a single tear slid down his cheek," I want to hit someone. Be it past or present tense, that sort of drivel drives me batty.

 

[Demesnedenoir]

I haven't read a Donaldson... anything, in decades. I might have to check it out.

After a few years screenwriting, present tense became very, very natural to write. And read. The real tricky part was straightening the brain back out when flipping things back for novels. Oh, my, how many tense issues I had for months, LOL.

 

[skip.knox]

>what I love about present tense is the immediacy.

This is why so many poorly-written books use the present tense. The inexperienced author wants to create immediacy and goes for the present tense as a device, much the same way an inexperienced author wants to create "depth" and "color" and winds up delivering info-dumps.

I've been burned enough times, I don't bother reading anything in the present tense. If it were an author I knew and respected (Donaldson would count), then I'd be willing to give it a try. But not an unknown. It is conceivable a newbie book could be filled with grammatical errors yet still be a compelling story, but that's not the way to bet. Some goes for present tense. There are too many good books waiting to be read, to spend time panning that stream for gold nuggets.

 

[Incanus]

Thanks for the sample, Svrtnsse. I applaud your use of mixing techniques. So long as it serves some kind of purpose and isn't just a gimmick, I think this kind of thing can be quite useful.

Skip--I feel you. I had a negative opinion of present tense up until a few days ago. But now that I've seen an excellent example of it by a known and respected author, I can no longer dismiss the technique out of hand. Not that I'll seek it out or anything. However, this Donaldson story is quite amazing, and the presentation plays no small part in it. If you want to check it out, you might want to wait until it becomes available in paperback. It's a new book and I paid top dollar for it, but for me it was totally worth it (though I haven't read the second novella, the blurb sounds great). I guess it would be a bit cheaper on Kindle? Not sure.

 

[Mythopoet]

I don't think I've ever read a whole book written in present tense. But I have read books where certain scenes were written in present. This is generally very effective for short glimpses into a POV other than the main one(s), especially if it's an antagonist's pov. Present is very good for evoking immediate suspense and can be very effective if trying to give a sinister atmosphere, in my experience.

Of course, I don't rule out present being used well for a whole book. I've just never read one.

 

[Incanus]

Hi Mytho!

Just to clarify a little: The book contains two novellas, and only the first--and shorter one of the two--uses the present tense. The effect Donaldson is getting from combining omniscient POV, present tense, and the nature of the MC, is quite striking, unlike anything I've ever read.

Haven't quite finished reading the first novella yet, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Best read in a while. The next story looks like it should be awesome as well.

 

[Steerpike]

There are a lot of present tense YA books.

Personally, I'm game for anything if it is written well. Past tense, present tense, omniscient narrator, tight narrator, first person, second person, third person, whatever.

 

[Incanus]

I'm also game, in theory, but as a slow reader I necessarily have to be a bit picky. Don't really read YA, though I have nothing against it. I hadn't seen a whole lot of present tense, but this is without doubt the first time I've seen it written well. Indeed, it's beyond well--it is most excellent, in my view. The King's Justice is really hitting the spot for me.