Quick Grammar Questions

[Androxine Vortex]

I have noticed that I use a lot of commas when I write. For example a sentence might read:

He wearily arose to full height, slighty staggering from fatigue.

1) Should I write it like this or should I say, "He wearily arose to full height slighty staggering from fatigue." I typically write long sentences and like to use commas for breaks.

2) Is this sentence written properly?

The priests are able to invoke the holy power of thier god, and by being blessed in return, can wield his divine power.

3) I use italics to have the reader know what the MC is thinking. Is this written properly?

Gervas, he thought to himself. I must warn him!
Do you need to also make the punctuation italicized? For example, after Gervas there is a comma and I kept it in italics font

Thanks for any help/corrections you can give me!

 

[Devor]

Both your sentences are fine.

He arose wearily, staggering slightly from fatigue. - that sounds a little better to my ear, putting the adverbs after the verb, but yours is fine.

 

[Steerpike]

Looks fine to me. If you're going to use italics for internal monologue, you probably don't need the tag, however.

 

[BWFoster78]

He wearily arose to full height, slighty staggering from fatigue.

Use a comma to set off an ending participial phrases if you want to emphasize the phrase. In this case, I'd keep it, but it could also be correct without it.

The priests are able to invoke the holy power of thier god, and by being blessed in return, can wield his divine power.

You only put a comma in front of a conjunction if you are joining two independent clauses. Since the phrase after the conjuntion (and) is not independent, the comma before "and" is not needed.

I use italics to have the reader know what the MC is thinking. Is this written properly?

Gervas, he thought to himself. I must warn him!
Do you need to also make the punctuation italicized? For example, after Gervas there is a comma and I kept it in italics font

You did it correctly. Stylistically, get rid of the "to himself" unless your world uses telepathy. As Steerpike pointed out above, you can also get rid of "he thought." The italics tell your reader it's thought, and they should know who the POV character is.

Hope that helps.

Brian

 

[Devor]

You only put a comma in front of a conjunction if you are joining two independent clauses. Since the phrase after the conjuntion (and) is not independent, the comma before "and" is not needed.

I completely missed that second sentence. BWFoster78 is right, that comma needs to go, or else add the subject "they."

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

"He wearily arose to full height, slighty staggering from fatigue."

The grammar is fine. The issue I have with this sentence is that there are unnecessary words.

Using "wearily" & then saying he staggered from fatigue is redundant. I've always felt that short & clear writing is the way to go. I'd probably write that sentence as:

"He rose to full height, staggering slightly from fatigue."

I tend to limit adverb use as much as possible but that's just my style preference.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

You only put a comma in front of a conjunction if you are joining two independent clauses. Since the phrase after the conjuntion (and) is not independent, the comma before "and" is not needed.

Oh so it would just be:
The priests are able to invoke the holy power of thier god and by being blessed in return, can wield his divine power.
You would still keep the comma at the end or take it out?

And thanks everyone for the help =)

 

[BWFoster78]

Oh so it would just be:
The priests are able to invoke the holy power of thier god and by being blessed in return, can wield his divine power.
You would still keep the comma at the end or take it out?

It should be:

... their god and, by being blessed in return, can wield...

Not all prepositional phrases need to be set off by commas, but I believe this one should be. However, you have to have a comma before the preposition and after the last word. Just putting a comma after the last word is not correct.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

It should be:

... their god and, by being blessed in return, can wield...

Not all prepositional phrases need to be set off by commas, but I believe this one should be. However, you have to have a comma before the preposition and after the last word. Just putting a comma after the last word is not correct.

-_________-
I hate grammar rules

 

[BWFoster78]

Really no help for it but to memorize them. It's a big part of being a writer.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Really no help for it but to memorize them. It's a big part of being a writer.

Haha that is true. Thanks for the help!