Slowing it down - Pacing

[canvas]

I've always had issues with pacing, and I've never been able to find an answer that really clicks for me. Maybe someone in here has an idea, or can put a new spin on an old idea, so I can figure out just what I need to do?

My problem is that I love action scenes. Love them. I've written 10k avalanche-style climaxes to fantasy novels just because I wanted to live in the high-action, revelation-filled scenes for a bit. I never went back and actually wrote the books that would be capped off by these scenes, because that was never the point. Those scenes were what I wanted to write, so I did.

Now, though, having gotten tired of the traditional publishing quest, and basically tired of short fiction, I am trying to get down some 20,000 to 30,000-word stories that I could self-publish in series. I actually have the whole self-publishing plan figured out, but there is one little hitch. No stories.

So I started writing them. The first one I wrote, which I am going back to now, came out to 10,500 words in first draft, but I get the same complaints from everyone. It's just too fast. Now, people like it. They enjoy the read, and on various writing sites it wins contests and gets great feedback, but... there is always that problem. So what do I do? Well, I've considered a few things:

1. Make her work harder for the resolution.
I can do that. In retrospect, the climax comes with too little effort anyway.

2. Use description to slow things down as needed.
I'm on the fence here, and I can't really explain why. For example, the very first scene is only a tad over 1,000 words, but it feels right at that length. There are a couple throughout that might hit 1,800, but it feels wrong to shoehorn extra description into this narrative. It is a cyberpunk-inspired fantasy, and the cut-to-the-chase narrative style really feels appropriate.

Now, as I say that I need to slow things down, I also know that I need to explain things better. There are aspects of the story that are simply not delved deeply enough. More story between the action scenes would obviously slow things down, and as long as the content was necessary, and fulfilling, then there are no complaints.

After typing all of this, I can't help but wonder if, maybe, my problem is that I just don't know how to write those more docile scenes.

Well, I managed to get to the end of the post and not even be sure what my question is anymore. Does anyone have any experience with this, though? Do you ever write a story, then realize it is more of an outline of your favorite parts? That it should probably be twice as long, and you're just not sure how to write those necessary--though less exciting--scenes?

 

[Caged Maiden]

So I understand what a worry pacing can be, and while I think short stories are perfect for a faster pacing, I'm sort of worried about responding without seeing an example of what you mean. Basically, we talk in a lot of threads about writing theory, and it's super easy to get a dozen responses like: "Pacing needs to be appropriate for the story" and other true statements that can be accurate and misleading at the same time.

Basically, there are good "rules" to live by as a writer, but we all know there are reasons to break any rule we can invent. If you like a fast-paced short story, you aren't alone. Our friend Phil Overby does it all the time in his short stories, and if you want to check those out, you can search him out on Amazon. I enjoy a fast-paced short as well, but I also like to take my time in certain stories, or in novels.

I guess I'm trying to understand what your actual problem is. Is it that you have gotten feedback about certain stories having loads of action with no downtime? Or is it that you feel the stories aren't as deep as you would prefer? Or is it something else that brought you to the conclusion you have a bigger problem with pacing?

I think pacing is reliant on a couple greater issues, which I'll try to touch on without going into too much detail. First, there are different types of scenes, and though a writer shouldn't feel roped into writing any sort of scene that doesn't fit a particular story, it's nice to know what they're each meant for. Are you including a variety of scene types in your work? Is that the problem you're having, that you don't know how to write a compelling dramatic or contemplative scene, only action scenes?

Another possible problem is in the nature of the stories you tend to write. If you choose to focus on stories where there is combat over verbal exchanges, you'll automatically see a need for more action and less internal thought.

Are you struggling to include internal thoughts in your stories? Or are you just a detail minimalist (as I tend to be)? Are these even problems? I mean, it's only a "problem" if people aren't responding to your work. I mentioned Phil because he's a good friend of mine and he's been my critique partner for four years, and while we write very different sorts of stories, I really enjoy his work and the contrast between what he shows and what ho-hum boring stories the internet spits out every day by the thousands. I think there is a sort of balance every writer needs to find, between what they like, what they are really good at, and what readers want to consume. If you find that your style floats your boat, and readers enjoy it and are hungry for more, there may be no problem at all, just a deviation from what "most people do", which is exactly what Phil has managed to harness.

I mean...if you want to get better at pacing, I'm all for looking at some of your work and giving you tips, but the ultimate judge of what is right and what works, needs to be you.

I sometimes work really slow scenes into novels for no reason other than to control pacing. For some of my betas who love action, the scenes feel like they drag, but for readers who prefer contrast, or what I like to call "the calm before the storm", it works well to set up a dramatic scene with feel-good themes, and then turn the world upside down again when everything falls apart in the next chapter. That pacing doesn't work for every writer, or every reader. Some readers will prefer a faster pacing. "Give me the information I need, and jump into the conflict". I admit to enjoying drama and contemplation more than pure action, but then again, this cruise ship of insanity has room for all kinds. All a writer can do is their best, and while I'm all for learning (as I try to learn and get better every day), I wouldn't want to give you a bunch of advice that sounds like "this is the right way to..." without seeing what your actual problem is.

Hope that helps, and if you want an experienced set of eyes on a piece you think is problematic, you can PM me and I'll do my best to give you some pacing-focused crit.

 

[canvas]

I suppose a lack of clarity is what I get for trying to form the question in my mind and in the post at the same time. It was a jumbled mess, but that's sort of what is going on in my head at the moment anyway. I would be interested in sharing a story with you, if you have the time, just because it would be great to talk with somebody about where I think I'm failing, and where my troubles might really be.

If it's not too much trouble, I'll go ahead and PM you with this draft of the story I was talking about, along with some of my concerns, which, now that I've put some words to them, seem to have little to do with pacing.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Yeppers, I get ya. I tried to be as clear as I could be, but I didn't understand your question, because again, it's easy to give stock answers like, "no pacing is wrong, just do what you FEEL like", which are fine answers to give, but they don't help anyone...like, ever.

I hate it when I ask a question and get a load of half-hearted responses, but to be honest, it's hard to have a conversation in forum posts. By the time you've clearly stated your concern in a way that could lead to a really concrete and personalized answer, you've bored the majority of folks here to tears. So when you ask a quick question, you get quick answers, but if you write a long question, you get no answers because no one reads them. HA! Welcome to my world!

Anyways, PM me your question, not the story, please, because I'm not going to read it as a PM. That's too laborious. I'd prefer to read a doc that I can comment on.

 

[canvas]

I'm actually heading to bed, but I sent you a PM. If I misread the invitation to send the story itself, please disregard the document I attached. I don't want to overstep. I would certainly be happy to put the question into proper words tomorrow, and send a new message.

Thanks again!
Addison

 

[skip.knox]

You could also post to the Showcase and thereby get feedback from multiple readers.

 

[Penpilot]

I learned a lot about pacing in reading this book. Amazon.com: Scene & Structure (Elements of Fiction Writing) (9780898799064): Jack M. Bickham: Books

I'd highly recommend it. If you don't want to read a book, maybe try googling up a few articles on Scene and Sequel structure. To me, this is the essence of how to control pace.

I'm actually going to be writing an article on this stuff for Mythic Scribes, but it's going be a while before I get to it.

 

[Heliotrope]

I'm not sure if this is relevant to your question, but I also just read a great book on Monsters that really helped me to understand the difference between 'action' and 'tension'… or 'horror' and 'terror'.

Alfred Hitchock described it like this:

So if you have four guys sitting around a table and then a bomb explodes the table, then that is horror. It lasts for a few seconds, while the bomb explodes, and then the feeling is over. The scene will pass very quickly with very little emotional impact.

If you show the bomb, then pan out and show it attached to the bottom of the table, then pan out and show the legs of the guys almost touching the bomb, then pan out and show the guys playing cards… then you have tension and this can be sustained. You can have the guys having a conversion. You can include some characterization. You can add some detail about where they are and what they are doing… all while the audience or reader are on the edge of their seat in anticipation. Tension is what we want to try to achieve. Simple action can be very fast paced, but has very little emotional impact.