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They don't have powers just because...

Discussion in 'World Building' started by DassaultMirage, Feb 3, 2014.

  1. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

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    So in my WIP, after four months or so of tinkering, I finally have a magic system working, but of course it needs more ironing and more pair of eyes to look at it for holes I might have missed.

    A brief history. The Erelims and Fallens were ancient beings locked in eternal conflict against each other. The former seeks to protect the human race, the most beloved creations of the highest god, Ein Sof. The latter wants to destroy it. Eventually, by allowing themselves to be mortals for the duration of their battles, the world became their battlefield. Why Ein Sof stood still for thousands of years as his most beloved creations were being destroyed was known only to him, but he finally had enough of it and banished the Erelims and the Fallens, forcing both sides to never return to the world. To accomplish this, Ein Sof created The Rift, a barrier of his own, raw magic that wrapped around the world, preventing the Erelims and Fallens from returning to the world.

    The Rift is basically maintained by the Sorceresses of the Rift. These sorceresses were mortals (though Ein Sif's own magic made them able to live for that long), and somehow blessed, forced, or cursed by Ein Sof to be the living anchors that maintained The Rift. A thousand years ago, a scholar named Junri tested his hypothesis that magic could return to the world if the sorceresses were to vanish. With the aid of one sorceress too tired of her eternal duty, Junri was able to kill one of the sorceresses. Her death created a hole in The Rift, and from that hole, magic could indeed return, yet not enough for the Erelims and the Fallens to squeeze through. Junri's hypothesis proved correct. The magic from the Erelims and the Fallens seeping in from those holes were only for the humans to use.

    Now, the magic system. When a human is born, he is offered. Pretty much like a baptismal of sorts. Using Abraham's Stone Tables (each major nation has a couple of these), the human is offered to the Erelims. It goes like this. I lack sleep sorry. I'm getting drowsy. :)

    If a flame from heaven swirls down and engulfs the baby, then the high erelim of the flames accepted him. He can then learn and use the magical disciplines of any of the many fire erelims.

    If a localized rain pour only on the stone table, then the high erelim of the waters accepted him. He can then learn and use the magical disciplines of any of the many water erelims.

    If the stone table grew in size and rocked as if enjoying holding him, then the high erelim of the earth accepted him. He can then learn and use the magical disciplines of any of the many earth erelims.

    If a cushion of air lifted and seemingly cradled him, then the high erelim of the winds accepted him. He can then learn and use the magical disciplines of any of the many wind erelims.

    As for the Fallens, well, if the parents are loon enough to offer their child to them, then they would use the fangs of Agaras' Basilisks. These are basically humongous skulls of basilisks. The baby would be placed on the mouth. For a moment, the skull would be sentient and its ghastly flesh would regrow. The baby would be breathed and engulfed in purple flames if a high Fallen of the flames accepted him. He would be breathed and engulfed in purple fluids if it was a high Fallen of the waters. Black vines would sprout from the ground and hug the skeleton and the baby itself if a high Fallen of the earth accepted him and he would be breathed then encapsulated in a purple miasma if it was a wind Fallen who accepted him. Same goes here as with the Erelims. Once accepted, the human can now learn and use one of the magical disciplines of whomever Fallen he desired.

    Now, be it Erelims or Fallens, once accepted, the human will have a glowing spot at the back of his neck. Blue for water. Red for fire. Green for earth. Grey for wind. Then they can now be referred to as practitioners. Once they received proper training, then the proper titles will follow. Practitioners can be mages, druids, clerics, spellswords and many more.

    There are special cases however.

    For the Erelims, it would be the Damocleses. Damocleses were humans accepted by a specific Erelim. These Erelims were basically those on the upper echelons. I only listed 148 of them, but an Erelim could have more than one Damocles. In my story's recorded history, one Erelim once had four Damocleses at the same time. The magic that a Damocles would possess would be phenomenal and would greatly mimic the style of his Erelim. Let's just say one Damocles = 12 highly trained practitioners.

    For the Fallens, these would be the Nephilims. I said earlier that Erelims and Fallens took on mortal forms, but the former's remains were all lost to human experimentation that yielded no known results. Nephilims were formed when a practitioner ingested the preserved parts of a Fallen. If his body could take it, he would be the dark counterpart of the Damocles. If not, his body explodes then he dies.

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    I need insights on this. Any suggestions to improve my system? Any holes that I need to seal? Oh and there will be a hell lot of people that will have no magic. They would be offered to both Erelims and Fallens but kapoot. Nothing will happen. Is that fine for that injustice to occur? I will appreciate all comments. Thanks.
     
  2. LeoWolfish

    LeoWolfish Scribe

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    Hi. Well after reading through I think it is fine for the most part but a few questions did pop up in my mind.

    Why will a lot of people be without magic/ rejected by both sides?

    What happens to a child as he or she grows up who was offered to the Fallens? How does society view them?

    Is there a way to tell the difference between someone who was offered to the Fallens instead of Erelims?

    It is not so much a case of if I am OK with the injustice of having no magic occurring so much as does it even make sense for it to occur within the given world. So long as you have a good reason for it and it is used in a way to bring tension or some form of interest to the story it should be fine.
     
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  3. Queshire

    Queshire Auror

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    The Christian influence is a bit strong foe my taste, but again, that's just my personal taste. I think it'd be useful if you explained why the angels and demons (sorry, on my phone. Angels and demons are easier for me) accept the people. I suppose having an influence on the world they can't get to and proxies to continue their fight on earth us fairly obvious, but it still should be stated. Of course that raises the question of why they accept some and not others. If they're just babies then the angels would have to be able to tell the future or sense some kind of potential in order to make their choice, otherwise they'd have to just do it the mortal way, looking at the facts to figure out which babies would grow up to be in the best position to advance their agenda or check their opponents agenda.
     
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  4. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

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    Why will a lot of people be without magic/ rejected by both sides?

    That's my problem. They don't have magic just because dot dot dot. Well, the only explanation I got so far was their nation, but that's really lame. For example, the Fire Erelims grant magic to the people of Firebrand because they preserve the ways of the flame. What I mean to say is nations have a patron/matron Erelim/Fallen. Nations in the story that rely on technology are barely blessed, as few as one in a thousand people being practitioners. Still, this does not explain the rejects on nations with patrons/matrons.

    What happens to a child as he or she grows up who was offered to the Fallens? How does society view them?

    The basilisks of agaras are owned by nations that adhere to the ways of the Fallens. They will grow up as accepted as their Erelim-based counterparts.

    Is there a way to tell the difference between someone who was offered to the Fallens instead of Erelims?

    Practitioners of Erelim magic have glowing spots at the backs of their necks. If one can perform magic without that glowing spot, their magic is coming form the Fallens.

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    and Queshire, two reasons really. One is yeahp, the proxy war. The other is to of course ensure that Ein Sof's little loves are safe. And some people never gets access to either the Abraham's Stone Tables and the Basilisks of Agaras, hence it will never be clear if they can ever practice magic. Some people chooses not to, especially those in the technologically-advanced nations who think their tech can overpower all. The Damocleses on the other hand, yes they have very specific purposes and that is to hunt down the Nephilims and stop the reformation of a shattered book, the central axis of the story's plot.
     
  5. LeoWolfish

    LeoWolfish Scribe

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    I see. In that case may I suggest that you could either have it that the humans that are rejected due to the fact they have a natural resistance/ immunity to both sides that has developed over the years. Either because Ein Sof knew/guessed that the rift might be damaged or destroyed one day or just naturally. Or maybe you could have it that the reason the child was rejected is because both the Fallens and the Erelims somehow are able to sense that the child would not survive the granted power. Though you would have to explain how they know this.

    Another possibility is that, in the case of the nations that are more technology based, the hole in the rift is too far away and therefore the ability to accept someone has been greatly reduced to the point most on both sides won't bother. This again would go well with the natural resistance thing since to me at least it would make more sense if there were several reasons that merged together. Based on what you have described anyway.
     
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  6. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

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    Don't you think it will be okay if I simply would not give a concrete answer and instead bury several theories within the story? First, of course, the government and the society of the technologically-advanced nation strongly discourages their people to seek the Stone Tables of Abraham and the Basilisks of Agaras. Second, nations that own said items would not give access to people from tech nations. That will explain why very few people from the tech-based nations became practitioners because they have to bypass two securities, and after that face social discrimination.

    As for those already in the magic-based nations, it will have something to do with my plot and some real life science. I've read about that one common ancestor behind blue eyes and I'm planning to use that same logic, but this time, on a "pure" human. See, when one man became a practitioner, his descendants could be practitioners themselves or not, but they would carry "traces" of magic. I would make it so that people who got rejected by both Erelims and Fallens came from that single "pure" human. He was the only one who rejected the magic of both the Erelims and the Fallens when Junri punched a hole in the rift, and somehow his descendants were punished. Of course, down the line some of his descendants acquired "traces", but I would make it that the trace of being the descendant of that stubborn man be stronger.

    And this will fit perfectly in the plot. There will be someone who would punch another hole in the rift big enough for just one Fallen to come through, but Fallens and Erelims could not exist in their almighty form and would need a human avatar. Hence, the pure human without a trace of erelim magic would be perfect. The race for that perfect human (or most perfect human, one without the slightest trace of magic) would be a hairline below the climax of my WIP.

    What say you guys?
     
  7. LeoWolfish

    LeoWolfish Scribe

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    Sounds good to me. And to be honest since the story is being told by the point of view of the people in that world not you the author it would actually make more sense if it was told by way of theories. Unless of course someone in that world had definitive proof it was for one reason or another. And then you would have to have them explain or better yet show how they know this is the case if it is not widely excepted as such already.

    So yes it should be fine. Go for it. You can always add and alter stuff later once the initial book has been done should it become a major issue. Before working on the next one after it.
     
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  8. Addison

    Addison Auror

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    You definitely have a strong background and history of the magic in your world. But as it played through my mind I still saw that the system still had some fluff factors. Nothing in any world is free, including magic. No one is born with the knowledge of....anything and no one can do everything.
    So my questions are:
    1. What is magic's cost? Strength? Youth? Do they get warts? Do they need to lose blood? Or do they need to be near water, earth, fire or such?
    2. How difficult is it for them to learn and master the magic? Relatively easy or insanely difficult?
    3. Do all kids get accepted for magic? Just how scarce, or common, is it?

    You don't have to explain the specifics of how the magic works. That takes the magic out of the magic. But so long as readers know the general information then it will feel more realistic and ground them more securely into the beautiful world you've built.
     
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  9. DassaultMirage

    DassaultMirage Minstrel

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    1) It is physically tiring, and, cliched as it may sound, too much of it corrupts the user morally, mentally and even physically.

    2) Not insanely difficult and not that easy as well, but of course, spells and battlefield tactics follow a hierarchy. A fireball is First Grade Math. A wall of flames that will dispel the most powerful of water attacks would be Doctoral Level Trigonometry. As in real life, most people would be contented with a decade of magic training to get a more fulfilling life.

    3) That was the main problem, the driving force for this post. I think I would not give nor get a specific answer for that and only leave several theories along the story.
     
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