What do you think of this idea?

[Aegrus]

This isn't a plot, or anything detailed. It's just a rough idea. I wrote it originally several years ago, but I'm considering re-writing it.

Mages in a renaissance-style nation are separated from their families early in life and sent to train their powers in churches, under the supervision of the clergy.

Mages are only taught to restrain their power. Magic is often considered more a curse than a blessing, and mages are taught to be ashamed of themselves for being corrupt. However, the mage protagonist was hidden by his family until he was a teenager. Then, one of his family betrayed him. His brother is also a mage, and the same thing happened to him. (They are both prisoners now.)

The protagonist is not brainwashed due to his knowledge of the real world. He is miserable, but wants to follow the rules and simply move on with his life with the hope of one day seeing his family again.

He is finally allowed outside of the city with other mages as part of a final trial to prove that he can control his power. He is well trusted by his instructors. However, the protagonist is an apostate, and as such is hated and feared by many of his peers. A scuffle between the protagonist and several of his peers brought on by lax supervision and mutual hatred leaves the protagonist very injured when some people lose control of their magic.

His peers, afraid that they will be accused of murder, lie and say that the protagonist attacked them to escape. They hide his (unconscious) body. But he isn't dead. He is found and nursed back to health by apostate mages. . .

Anyone have any thoughts?

 

[eternaldream24]

Sounds interesting. I'd read it.

 

[Shpob]

It sounds like a very interesting origin story for a main character (though I would be careful that it doesn't turn into a run-of-the-mill vengeance story against those peers that assaulted him). The only part that I was confused about: what is it that makes the protagonist an apostate when his peers are not apostates?

I do like the general idea of a renaissance-era world where magic is seen as shameful.

= )

 

[Xanados]

Ideas, as Brandon Sanderson always says, are cheap. A writer can come up with several ideas in a day, but the one he chooses must be written well. It sounds interesting, though.

 

[sashamerideth]

Sounds interesting, ideas are a dime a dozen, it's what you can do with it that matters. We can't say if the idea is good or not, it has the potential to be awesome, it also has the potential to be the most stilted and clichéd piece of fiction out there.

Sent from my Blade using Forum Runner

 

[Aegrus]

It sounds like a very interesting origin story for a main character (though I would be careful that it doesn't turn into a run-of-the-mill vengeance story against those peers that assaulted him). The only part that I was confused about: what is it that makes the protagonist an apostate when his peers are not apostates?

I do like the general idea of a renaissance-era world where magic is seen as shameful.

= )

It would not be a vengeance story. The protagonist would be internally conflicted about the events that had transpired. On one hand, he's free, and he has met other mages who embrace magic, and would teach him how to use his full potential- which he has always wanted. He has rarely felt ashamed of his magic. Over time, he also becomes involved in a romantic relationship with one of the rogue mages. She doesn't want him to turn himelf in. In addition, the protagonist could finally see his family if he stays free.

If he goes back to the academy-type-thing, they might not believe that he was merely defending himself when he was injured. They might arrest him, thinking that he came back as a thrall or spy of a demon or rogue mage. If he goes back, people would also question how he looks so healthy and where his newfound skills came from. They might go looking for apostates in the area, so his newfound allies don't want him to turn himself in, and he doesn't want to endanger them.

However, his brother is still, for all intents and purposes, a prisoner. His brother may be interrogated or punished if people think that he knew about the protagonists's escape beforehand. Everyone the protagonist knew thinks him to be either dead or a traitor. His life as he has known it so far is over if he stays rogue. Then, if he went back to his family, he still has to keep in mind that one of them (he doesn't know which) sold him out in the first place.

The main, overriding reason for why the protagonist would want to go back is that, if he doesn't, he will be a fugitive for the rest of his life-he will never be truly free- and the punishment will be harsher if he is caught as opposed to if he surrenders.

And on top of that. . . the protagonist isn't even certain that he agrees with the rogue mages who helped him. They seem dangerous at times, including the woman who he would fall in love with. (Too many dangerous spells, very little concern for the safety of non-mages, etc.)

And yet, he loves her, and magic, so there is a strong temptation to break the rules, so to speak.

 

[ThinkerX]

The overall set-up sounds much like the 'Darkborn' on my primary world - people born on the fall equinox are considered to be potentially cursed, and if they show signs of actual magical ability, they are regarded as potential agents for demonic agencies. That they do have a knack for black magic, as well as being on the self centered side, only reinforces this. So they get sent off to special remote monastaries where they are taught the bare minimum to restrain their abilities.

'Lightborn' (those born on the Spring Equinox) also tend to get packed off to church institutions, though for a different reason; they are considered 'blessed' by the true God and are taught from an early age that they are his special servants, with many obligations. They are also relentlessly drilled in 'proper' theology; left to their own devices they are quite capable of making statements not fully in accord with church doctrine. Most eventually become faith healers, exorcisists, and the like.