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What if it's a real war

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Steerpike, Dec 10, 2017.

  1. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Moderator

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    Sam Sykes posted something on Twitter as a fun game where the war on Christmas hashtag was referring to battlefield correspondence from an actual war. I thought people here might enjoy posting short snippets based on this premise, just for fun.

    "Day 33. They hit the toy shop just after dark. From the rooftop, the click click click of reindeer paws, then automatic weapons fire. I slide under my bench. We all do, huddled there with only the sound of our breathing and the approaching hooves. The light from that accursed red nose searches the room, seeks us out one by one. Hermey is too exposed, and the light finds him. Machine gun fire chews away the left side of his head. I have to look away. The hooves clatter between the benches as the reindeer and their armed riders--traitors, all of them--look for survivors. It seems to last forever, the gun shots, the screams, the smell of smoke and blood, but when it's over I'm still alive and the deer are leaving. I slump down, only now aware of how tense I've been. Every muscle in my body is clenched.

    "I see the reindeer through a frost-rimmed window, leaping into the black sky behind the point of red light that is their leader. My hand moves to the knife at my side, which I'd been afraid to touch only moments before. I've tried to stay out of this senseless conflict up until now. I just wanted to make toys and pretend the fight was someone else's problem. But I can't do that after tonight. My knife is sharp, Rudolph, and when I see you again I've got something real for your ass."
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
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  2. Heliotrope

    Heliotrope Staff Article Team

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    Shouldn't have lol'ed at this, but I totally did.
     
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  3. Heliotrope

    Heliotrope Staff Article Team

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    It was the teddy bears that turned first. Cowardly bastards were always a bit stuffed up. Nothing but cotton where their guts should be. Once the bears had turned it was easy to get the Barbies on their side. The Powder Puff girls were next.

    It's funny, you know. It's always the ones that seem so innocent that are the easiest to corrupt. I guess that's why they knew to leave the toy soldier's alone. After the shit those boys saw in the sandbox, mostly cat, some racoon... it would be hard for them to care about anything. But the teddy's were still soft, you know? Still had something left inside them that moved them to fight.

    They just didn't know what they were in for when they were handed the Lego guns.

    "Take no prisoner's". They were told. They thought they were being heroic.

    Mr. Fluffy Pants took Johnny in his sleep. After that it was bedlam.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2017
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  4. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Moderator

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    I edited the sentence to add a word. I can never help myself!

    I like your cowardly, cottony teddy bears :ROFLMAO:
     
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