Writing characters that are awkward about sex (or romance in general)

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Meta, from the ancient Greek prefix μετά, meaning, roughly, 'after' or 'beyond'.
In the modern usage, it means something self-referential.
For example, writing a story about an author writing a story, or making a video game that frequently references the fact that you are playing a video game, or, in general, poking fun at genre conventions/cliches, would fit the definition.

 

[pmmg]

The challenge for me has been writing scenes that are not romanticised, but realistic.

It almost sounds in this that you are saying romanticized sex is not in the category of realistic, but I think the category is broad enough to include it. It can happen Perhaps, as an exercise, you could write something where to sex is unwanted, unpleasureable, or no one gets what they want.

Ouch! You're pulling my hair.
Is it in?
I can't get it up.
Are you done already?
Well, least that's over.

Not a lot of romanticism going on there.

 

[Josh2Write]

Meta, from the ancient Greek prefix μετά, meaning, roughly, 'after' or 'beyond'.
In the modern usage, it means something self-referential.
For example, writing a story about an author writing a story, or making a video game that frequently references the fact that you are playing a video game, or, in general, poking fun at genre conventions/cliches, would fit the definition.

Ok. How is what I said meta?

 

[Finchbearer]

It almost sounds in this that you are saying romanticized sex is not in the category of realistic, but I think the category is broad enough to include it. It can happen Perhaps, as an exercise, you could write something where to sex is unwanted, unpleasureable, or no one gets what they want.

Ouch! You're pulling my hair.
Is it in?
I can't get it up.
Are you done already?
Well, least that's over.

Not a lot of romanticism going on there.

No. It’s the mode in which I’m (trying) to write, which includes intimacy. Not guiding the reader, not confirming bias and refusing meaning. I particularly like this mode because it forces me to only write what is necessary.


These in isolation tell us nothing though right?

Ouch! You're pulling my hair.
Is it in?
I can't get it up.
Are you done already?
Well, least that's over.

Is it dialogue? Interior thought? What does the rest of the scene look like? What happens when you don’t use gratifying language or heavy metaphor?

Anyway, OP is probably sick of me by now.

 

[pmmg]

Are you trying to say I left you disappointed and wanting? Sometimes this stuff is just too hard.

 

[Mad Swede]

For all the wrong reasons. There's more than enough smut in the world. And writing it is just an admission a writer has nothing left and has to rely on lust to move what's left of the story forward. The more smut the less of a true writer.

At this point I'm going to suggest that you read Lady Chatterley's Lover by DH Lawrence. That book disproves your point in many ways.

 

[Sheilawisz]

While the term smut is quite old, in our days it has a strong connection to fanfiction. It refers to stories that are barely stories at all, since they lack plot totally or almost totally and they focus on the gratuitous smut scenes.

Please, let’s follow the original purpose of this thread.

My latest novel actually features a character like that!

Hemlock Allyngard. Seventeen, yet already a genius chemist, a bloodthirsty psychopath with a very long list of casualties and aerospace engineer, scary to the point that she’s a very serious global threat.

The thing is that poor Lockie lost her parents when she was nine, and it was then when she was adopted by a fellow psychopath scientist even worse and slightly older than her.

Lockie then lived with this pathetic excuse of a surrogate mother, and instead of a life with friends and social interaction she pretty much grew up in a lab and her only goal in life was to develop unspeakable weapons of mass destruction to murder entire planets for her Queen.

Then, freaking Anna Coulthard comes into her life and drives her crazy… and Lockie did not even realize that she was attracted to Anna, since she was so clueless that she did not even know what it feels like when you like someone.

After several months of romantic and sexual tension, Anna finally stepped forward and gave Lockie a seriously fun night (to describe everything in a family friendly style!) and Lockie was so confused and scared that it was quite difficult for me to describe everything that she was feeling the following day.

So yeah, writing about this kind of characters is fun and challenging as well!

 

[pmmg]

I dont know, we were calling things smut long before the internet showed up. I remember a long ago first GF reading smut...

It sounds like your story a much larger violence problem than one of sexual tension. Maybe the people there should be making love, not war. Something complex that is hard to describe is the best kind of complex. Its like a personal challenge to get all the nuances right.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Yes, technically this is true and there are whole subgenres out there devoted to the idea. However, that being said, I've been married for 34 years. To the same person, even! And I can say with a fairly reasonable degree of accuracy, that a whole lot of story happens between the sheets.

Life is short.

Sex is fun. And writing sex is fun.

So, don't be afraid to write the smut. It's good for you. Something about the humors?

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I personally don't mind it in other people's stories, provided it doesn't take up 40 minutes of the film (different measure for the books)
It also depends a lot on the movie in question and what I came for. I don't watch Guardians of the Galaxy to see Peter Quill Smash. Save that stuff for fanfiction, of which I'm sure there is plenty lol. If I want to see characters Smash I'll watch a Spy movie because that's the genre where it's expected and 'makes sense' to be there.

If I write sex in my stories, most of what goes on is going to be vaguely alluded to in narration. Personally think that 'fluff' sex that is there just to be there defeats the purpose. It's a lot like movies that have swears every ten seconds, at some point, the swears lose their impact and you tune out.

 

[pmmg]

It's a lot like movies that have swears every ten seconds, at some point, the swears lose their impact and you tune out.

Or put Mr. Kings novel down.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Or put Mr. Kings novel down.

I wish I could name one Viking Show/ Movie that doesn't dedicate at least a good thirty minutes to the most goofy sex ever, that isn't a historically accurate documentary lol

I mean ok, vikings, yeah, they smashed like tigers, probably. That doesn't mean we need to SEE that as part of the plot haha.

Honestly, the Huns were probably worse than the Vikings haha

 

[pmmg]

Did you get vikings from mr. King?

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Did you get vikings from mr. King?

Possibly, I only saw a bit of a show my parents watched, and one of the movies we watched had a gratuitous scene in it. In story they called it 'diplomacy' r-r

 

[A. E. Lowan]

For all the wrong reasons. There's more than enough smut in the world. And writing it is just an admission a writer has nothing left and has to rely on lust to move what's left of the story forward. The more smut the less of a true writer

As someone who both loves sex and is doing just fine in the writing department, I've just got to call bullshit. 500k published words, no complaints except for those coming out of leftfield.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

"Smash?" Is that a new word for sex? I haven't come across it, yet.

And yes, I do have a rotary phone. And a working Nintendo 64.

 

[pmmg]

Smash has been used for it at times.

(I was meaning Steven King… he uses a lot of profanity)

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

"Smash?" Is that a new word for sex? I haven't come across it, yet.

And yes, I do have a rotary phone. And a working Nintendo 64.

It's been used in place of sex/f* (in reference to procreation) to be more family friendly.
It is most commonly used in a groan worthy type of youtube video called 'smash or pass'
Some of them are hilarious, but it's mostly cringe, and done for quick views.
The funniest ones is pokemon...that for some reason exists lol