Writing in Song Form

[BJ Swabb]

So I want to do something totally bizzare for the book world, but I'm not sure how exactly to write it out. I have written a few chapters where individuals have sung lulabyes to their children, but other than that I haven't actually had a scene where two individuals break out in song together. I am on a chapter right now trying to figure it out on how to write two lovers who are just coming out about that they love one another in song form, as if they were singing their feelings to one another. Any suggestions?

 

[BJ Swabb]

This is what I got so far
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“What’s on your mind Damien?” Evelyn asks.

“Well actually you action early this morning really bothered me. I felt like you were upset with me this morning, and I don’t know why.” Damien sighs, as he walks looking down at his own two feet.

“Well if you really want to know. It’s because you slept with some gal you don’t even know.” Evelyn miffs.

“I didn’t sleep with her. I went to bed way before she came in there. I woke up with her there. She’s not my type.” Damien comments.

“Oh.” Evelyn lowers her head as her cheeks turn red.

“Evelyn you’ve been acting real weird lately with me. What is going on with you? Did I do something?” Damien asks.

“No not really. Just having girl problems is all.” Evelyn sighs.

“I see. Well you know you can talk to me about anything you want. Eve girl stuff.” Damien looks over at Evelyn, looking straight into her beautiful brown eyes. He smiles at her, “I’m here for you.”

Evelyn gives a small smirk as her cheeks turn red again,” Thanks. I really like that. I don’t know many my own age, and you’re my closest friend right now.” Evelyn begins to play with her hair that is draped on the right side of her shoulder. “Can I tell you something now?”

“Yeah. Sure. What is it?” Damien smiles at Evelyn.

“Well it’s kind of foolish really.” Evelyn plays more and more with her hair as she feels a little of the nerves run through her body.

“Nothing is ever silly. Please tell me.” Damien replies.

Evelyn takes a deep breathe and begins to sing, “If you could see the way that you look to me. I bet that you'd be amazed at the sight. You'd see a heart that's fearless and true from my point of view, Oh, you shine.”

Damien smiles wide, “What about you? Why is everything so easy for you?”

Evelyn giggles, “Man, if you only knew. Half the time I'm just faking it hoping that no one will discover I'm a complete fraud.”

Damien sighs as he takes Evelyn’s hand and sings back, “I think you hide so much what you feel inside. But I know deep down there's a fire burning bright. From where you stand it might not be clear but you shine from here.” Damien stops walking and places his hand on her heart. “No doubts, no more fears. I see you shine and the dark disappears.”

Evelyn smiles bigger, “Then I know everything is gonna be fine. Because you shine, oh how you shine.”

Damien steps closer to Evelyn and the two stares at one another for a moment, “What a surprise, gazing into your eyes. I swear that I still get lost in the light. No photograph could possibly show the you I know.”

Evelyn blushes more as she stares at Damien listening to his beautiful voice, They both then sing, “No doubts, no more fears. I see you shine and the dark disappears. I'll be your mirror and you can be mine. Look to me and you'll see, just how you shine.”

“Oh Evelyn. You are so beautiful.” Damien tells her.

“Oh, Damien. I….I….I love you.” Evelyn blushes even more.

“You know what?” Damien giggles as his face starts to turn red as well. “I love you too.”

Deeply staring at one another the two holds each other’s hands lightly. Grinning like a complete idiot Damien leans forward and gives Evelyn a kiss upon the lips.

 

[Finchbearer]

The Anglo-Saxons had a strong culture of oral storytelling called the Ealdspell, often sung in a sort of rhythmic verse.

Perhaps this is something to think about incorporating into your writing, a sort of poetic rhythm?

 

[pmmg]

I fear you all would not want to see that from me. I am sure some of my characters can sing. They would not want it recorded.

 

[pmmg]

Extending my remarks on this. Paradise Lost was like a super long poem, and probably could be put to song. And I've seen fantasy works, such as Tolkien, who did write out the words to the songs they were singing, and to varying success (And if Elfquest is still out there, I am still waiting for my vinyl, sent you like $15.00 30 years ago....Tap...Tap...Tap). But I dont know that the passion is in my to try to take this one on. Some of the stories I have read, such as those by Homer, were likely recited many many times before written down. And I did to Beowulf, which I thought was a little disjointed, but... Maybe for the audio book

 

[Finchbearer]

Beowulf was inspired by Anglo-Saxon mythology, as was Tolkien, a long oral tradition that has made it into pop culture has truly stood the test of time.

 

[skip.knox]

Why not use it as it stands? I don't see the need to arrange what is mostly prose in verse form.

 

[Mad Swede]

The idea of using verse, sometimes set to music, isn't new. One of the best known examples is Sonnets from the Portugese, written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning as a declaration of love for her husband. This sort of verse can be wonderful - if done well. I don't dare try it in my books, I'm not that good a poet.