I'm in a bad state, and it's interfering with my writing, and other creative puruits. Did you ever feel like cutting out the broken bits of your brain and see what can be stitched back afterwards? It's gotta be less hellish than what I am experiencing now.
Each time I sink this low I find myself wondering if it will be temporary or if this is the time that I return to that void where I spent many years and only able to unlock a small amount of what is in my brain. I lived for years with the words stuck mostly in my head due to the horrid circumstances that I was living in.
I want to believe that it's temporary ... but it's only been three years since I shattered that wall so there's no gurantess, ever, that the wall will stay down.
All of my mental health conditions, my demons, have me by the throat now ... and maybe this time they might win the battle and I'll always be voiceless.
(NB: my other porfolios have been deleted over the past couple of weeks as I'll be posting my stories on my own site AND nothing to do with my current state.)