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Fortunately. Unfortunately.

Phietadix

Auror
Fortunately, one of the plumbers noticed the similarities in the obscure language to the old stories their grandmother used to tell them back in Ireland, and was able to piece together the Gaelic well enough using Google Translate that the plans were decoded after only a fortnight
 

Phietadix

Auror
Unfortunately, Dagon was better at Fortnite than them. While they were busy devoloping strategies to defeat him in Fortnite, he was busy devoloping strategies to defeat them in water systems
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
Fortunately, Dagon won the tournament and inched one step closer to setting forth his plan for watery global domination.


(No one said I can't be on Dagon's side)
 
Fortunately, Dagon had recently put out an ad in Craigslist and the local Innsmouth newspaper want ads for allies to his future Quagmire and had several job openings.
 

Phietadix

Auror
Unfortunately, when this game begins to drift away from it's strict basic premise and member start chooing sides, it gets wildly convulated and one has to keep track of 2 overpowered gender-fluid cat deities and the personification of Morgan Freeman
 

Phietadix

Auror
(Far worse than Ban's switching sides was me providing a response that's not actually part of the story, so let's try that again)

Unfortunately, Dagon's Craigslist ads attracted the attention of Davy Jones. So Dagon's assault on the sea was now even stronger
 
Fortunately, Davy Jones trapped Dagon in his locker and returned the seas to their natural state though the damages to shorelines and island nations was great.
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
Unfortunately a Ban from the future appeared and brought about a universal reset so this thread can reawaken from its slumber.
 

Logomancer

Scribe
Fortunately (?) this universal reset inadvertently brought into existence a pantheon of godlike hamsters with a weakness for pineapple pizza and saccharine soap operas.
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Yet they became stuck in a perpetual hamster wheel, and unfortunately, the pineapple pizza remains.
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Unfortunately for hamsters, they were also abolished, and so the wheel of fate went unpowered.
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
Fortunately the guinea pig deities who also emerged were doing just fine.
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
Fortunately the guinea pig deities provided all knowledge the scientists could ever desire through their divine might.
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Unfortunately, the guinea pig gods were also used for experiments by other gods, and things went back to normal for the poor guinea pig mortals.
 
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