saellys
Inkling
Sorry Steerpike, I totally missed your earlier post.
Case in point: this thread!
I can't just sit back and hope my parenting skills will make things better in the long run, because I have to deal with this every day myself. It's a real, immediate issue that effects my daily life as well as my daughter's future.
Porn as an entity is not necessarily just a product of male-dominated society. Lots of people like watching sexytimes. Generalization: media created and produced by women will tend to be more female-positive, which means porn that is not exploitative and more representative of varying body types, and portrays the idea that--gasp--women can enjoy sex too.
Agreed on all counts, and props to your daughter for doing her own thing. My yearly renewal of faith in humanity comes in the form of Southern Girls Rock 'n' Roll Camp, where just under a hundred adolescent girls learn to play instruments and form bands and collaborate all week long. They are all the most amazing, self-confident, individualistic girls I've ever met. Each and every one of them has a hundred stories about horrible things they've had to put up with in school or among friends. For some, the struggle makes you stronger. Plenty of other people never come out the other side, though.
Yes, though in my experience people aren't the receptive to education in this area.
Case in point: this thread!
We'll have better luck in the long run instilling the right ideals in our kids and then watching things evolve as they grow into adults.
I can't just sit back and hope my parenting skills will make things better in the long run, because I have to deal with this every day myself. It's a real, immediate issue that effects my daily life as well as my daughter's future.
Of course, not everyone on the same "side" can even seem to agree what is appropriate. I remember a discussion about women who run pornography (i.e. they're not the subjects of it, but the publishers, photographers, etc.) with some professors and graduate students in Women's Studies, and there was a viewpoint expressed that since the women had taken charge of the situation and turned it to their advantage, since they were in control, it was a good thing (or at least better than the alternative). The opposing view is that it was in fact worse and they were just contributing to a serious problem resulting from male-dominated society.
Porn as an entity is not necessarily just a product of male-dominated society. Lots of people like watching sexytimes. Generalization: media created and produced by women will tend to be more female-positive, which means porn that is not exploitative and more representative of varying body types, and portrays the idea that--gasp--women can enjoy sex too.
I do think we can get our children into the right mindset, though not without bumps along the way. My daughter is 17 now, and great about ignoring societal conceptions of what has to be sexy or beautiful. She does her own thing. Go back to around junior high, that wasn't the case. She was much more into how her peers thought she should look than how she thought she should look. In her case, it has helped that her mom is the first person to discount societal expectations, but has always received a lot of attention for her looks (and she doesn't want half of it, as she is a lesbian and not interested). That may sound counter-intuitive, but I think it showed that you can ignore all the media portrayals of how women are supposed to look, ignore what is in the magazines, and adopt a much more natural approach to how you look and others in society will still find that attractive. It seems to have been a good lesson at around 13 years of age or so, when what was in the magazines was starting to look more enticing to my daughter. I believe you have to reinforce the proper perceptions in both boys and girls, particularly when they start hitting around 12 and 13 years of age, and girls start to see themselves in the mirror of magazine covers and boys start to look around at media and think that's how girls are supposed to look and behave.
Agreed on all counts, and props to your daughter for doing her own thing. My yearly renewal of faith in humanity comes in the form of Southern Girls Rock 'n' Roll Camp, where just under a hundred adolescent girls learn to play instruments and form bands and collaborate all week long. They are all the most amazing, self-confident, individualistic girls I've ever met. Each and every one of them has a hundred stories about horrible things they've had to put up with in school or among friends. For some, the struggle makes you stronger. Plenty of other people never come out the other side, though.