Help with Elaborating on Initial Themes

[SmokeScribe98]

Hmm, I don't see how the Emberspawn seem like "evil dwarves", they don't share many characteristics with dwarves and they aren't a "evil" race as such. I can see what you mean about the Wildmen though, how do you think I could go about fixing that?

 

[SmokeScribe98]

Please if any of you have any suggestions, I would love to hear. I'm really stuck for what to do right now and the more I think about it the harder it gets. Once I get some feedback, I'll post all the backstory into a new thread.

 

[ThinkerX]

Hmm, I don't see how the Emberspawn seem like "evil dwarves", they don't share many characteristics with dwarves and they aren't a "evil" race as such.

This race hails from the south of the western isle and is currently small in number. It is believed that the Bytharus Empire pushed them out from their homeland subsequently leading them to flee further north until they eventually settled below the towering northern peaks that bordered the western isle with the Wilds. At that time, the Emberspawn were simply less civilised Heartlanders that practiced dark magic and coveted a false god until they were pushed so far north by the Bytharus that by the time 3rd Ashfall came they were forced to seek refuge underground or in what ever other sanctuary they could find until the chaos above had finally ceased. Over the years, the Emberspawn began to adapt more and more to their new surroundings, their skin turned coal grey to camouflage in amongst the soot and ash and their hardships had encouraged them to have more faith in their “false god” than ever, according to Emberspawn belief, it was at this time that their God blessed them with their telepathic ability so that they may ensure each others safety during their testing.

Because AD&D is actually semi in line with the mythology here:

1) Appearance - both Emberspawn and Duagar have grey skin

2) In mythology dwarves/duagar had reputations for magic...like your Emberspawn.

3) In AD&D, duagar are all mentalists/psionists...like your Emberspawn.

4) Both dwell underground.

5) Also worth pointing out: in the actual mythology, dwarves were only slightly shorter than humans. To an extent, this is reflected in AD&D. So...is your average Emberspawn taller or shorter than average humans.

About all thats missing is the longer lifespan and the master craftsman angle.

I can see what you mean about the Wildmen though, how do you think I could go about fixing that?

You don't. One of the premises for your world is Lovecraftian things skulking around behind the curtains. The wildmen are an example of what can happen when these utterly alien monstrosities decides to meddle directly. One or more of them stepped in one day, found a race or tribe of human varients, and changed them into wildmen for incomprehensible reasons of its own.

I have something like this on my world: the ancient aliens, through incomprehsible 'super science' created the race of rachasa cat-men as elite warriors/hunters from a blend of other species, some whose ancestors came from different planets. When th ancient aliens vanished, the rachasa 'went wild'.

Same way with goblins and hobgoblins. The goblins were a humaniod race, brought to my world by the ancient aliens, along with humans and others. The ancient aliens decided they needed a warrior caste, so they did a bit of genetic meddling, and turned some of the goblins into tougher, stronger, more disciplined hobgoblins.

Thinking through possibilities like this is what adds depth to your world. Speaking of which:

Assuming the Wildmen are the creation of some Lovecraftian monstrosity, are they still its subjects? Did they revolt? If so, how many? Does said monstrosity still take an interest in the wildmen? Was said Lovecraftian entity somehow killed?

 

[Caged Maiden]

Cool. My current WIP is set in a parallel to 1576 Venice. So I have a very Italian themed novel I'm writing. I encourage you to do a lot of research into the actual politics of the period and see what inspiration strikes you. I was inspired by venice first, because I am a costumer by trade, and have recently done a few Venetian dresses and the research papers for those garments just made me fall in love with that unique city. Also, Venice was part monarchy (the doge), part oligarchy (the senate), and part democracy (the councils), so I found the political clime very interesting. Much different from, say, England of the same period. Another interesting social aspect of Renaissance Italy, was that money ruled the place. The class boundaries were blurred, many merchants like the Medici, becoming stronger than nobility.

So yeah, if you need inspiration, history is a great place to find it.

 

[SmokeScribe98]

Yes, the Renaissance in Italy particularly is something that has always interested me, particularly Florence and the Papal States. The activities of the Borgia family I find especially interesting.

As for the Wildmen thinker, as I said earlier, their tribes like many other cultures worship the Great Volcano and they share a telepathic link between each other like the Emberspawn. Just how they came to be and if they still serve as subjects to the Great Beast is unknown but I'm sure if the Beast has need of them he can manipulate them to bend to his will rather easily. Like you say, questioning and thinking through possibilities really does help to add more depth so I would encourage anyone who has any questions they would like to voice, to voice them. Anyway, I put this little snippet of information up on the other thread, but I'll post it up here too, please tell me what you think:

Nations:

Archanthium Dominion:
The Archanthium Dominion was founded as a result of the collapse of the Bytharus Empire in the early years of 3rd Ashfall. The Bytharus Empire encompassed most of Ehvas, stretching out from the scabrous south eastern coast to the towering cliffs that border the northern isle with the wild lands. After its collapse most of the continent fell into disarray forming their own small city states but out of the ruins of the previous empire came a new majesty seized by divine and holy right according to its founder Decimus Octavianus Blackwater who led his “holy” legions through the decadent streets of the former power, slaughtering the remnants and out of the ash and cinder of the previous civilisation forged a new utopia of unquestioned grandeur and power rivalling anything yet seen in Ehvas or indeed all of Psyvala.

This new Empire consisted of towering golden ornate structures, rich illustrious garments, shining new technology and devastating progression in its military and industry partly thanks to the Great Resurgence in the Shattered states below. Despite all of Archanthiums criticisms, none question its power and finesse in intimidation, its military, thought control and propaganda. Decimus had anointed him and the loyal citizens of the new Dominion the “pure blooded”, the denizens of divinity and it’s this ideology and extreme xenophobia that makes the Dominion such an almighty foe to tackle.

Its current Prophet Salyrn Blackwater continues this tradition, promoting jingoism, militarism, ultra nationalism and xenophobia throughout the masses of the brainwashed citizens of Archanthium. The nation while far mightier than any previous civilisations is not without its flaws; Archanthium is a militantly pseudo-religious society that preaches widespread institutionalised racism to the races of Emberspawn and Halfmen, hunting down tribes of Emberspawn and forcing them into slavery to keep the gears of the utopia moving and the society also proves especially cruel to the Halfmen which should according to Salyrn not even be allowed the gratification of assisting such a majesty and should instead be eliminated from all of existence via mass “purification”.

Again, this is a work in progress and the names are mostly just placeholders for now. By the way, If you haven't already guessed I'm useless at names so if you have any suggestions for better names, please do say, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Spider]

Sounds good so far. It seems like you put in a lot of effort to make this detailed. One thing I noticed though...

Halfmen came to be after the invasions of the Wildmen from the east when the new invaders intermingled with local humans in the eastern isle.

As I recall from my basic knowledge of biology, a species can be defined as a group of animals that are able to mate and produce fertile offspring (correct me if I'm wrong). It seems like the Wildmen, on the other hand, are a different species than humans, so they wouldn't be able to intermingle with them.

As for names, do you want names that simply sound good, or names with meaning and purpose? If you're looking for the latter, you should note down the special attributes of each race to help you with creating a significant name.
For example, the Emberspawn:
-Practice dark magic
-Are coal grey in color
-Live underground
-Are telepathic
The Emberspawn are also slaves, so they may be called other (nasty) names by the Heartlanders.

 

[SmokeScribe98]

I'm no master of biology either but from my understanding, two different species can not produce fertile offspring if they do not have the same number of chromosomes as the mate or do not possess similar genomes. Ligers however (a cross between a lion and a tiger) have been known to be able to produce offspring with tigers and lions however male ligers are mostly sterile with very few exceptions meaning ligers can not mate with each other. In the context of Wildmen and Halfmen, I guess that would mean they could only really mate with either Wildmen or the natives that originally settled in the Eastern isle. Well, guess I'll have to go into more detail about the natives, of course this is fantasy and I'm pretty sure hybrid species have been done in fantasy before, my mind comes to the Bretons in The Elder Scrolls Series, a race that came from mating between the races of elves and men, so I'm sure if I explain it well enough something like this could be allowed.

As for naming, I'll try and come up with some better names soon. But what I was really wondering is what you thought of my early work on the Dominion? Oh and thank you for commenting, it means a lot.

 

[Spider]

But what I was really wondering is what you thought of my early work on the Dominion?

It looks good to me. One thing I was wondering about was the 3rd Ashfall... did a volcano erupt? If so, where would Decimus Octavianus Blackwater get the resources to build his towering golden ornate structures?

 

[SmokeScribe98]

Ashfall marks eras in the history of Ehvas. So instead of 1st era, 2nd era, 3rd era, its 1st Ashfall, 2nd Ashfall, 3rd Ashfall. The supervolcano to the northeast has been known to erupt from time to time and when it does, such a cataclysmic event marks a new era in the continents history as most societies are destroyed in the chaos. As for were he got the resources, he built Archanthium from the ruins of the old Bytharus Empire, the foundations were set and no doubt an abundance of resources too. The Dominion was founded after a cataclysmic event, people were left ruined and clinging on to any life they could find, I imagine thought control is a lot easier when you offer something that nobody else has, civilisation. After that, the slave trade started and there is plenty of profit to be made there.

 

[SmokeScribe98]

Here's some of my initial work on the city state of Albicia. Please tell me what you think.

Albicia:
Albicia is the south-eastern most state in the Gauntlet and is the most mercantile and maritime of the Shattered States, transporting goods and people across the continent. While Calcara may have the largest and most powerful land forces of the states, Albicia is widely known for its finesse and power in its Navy and trade. It serves as a hub for commerce across most of the continent and can win through commissary savvy what it can not win through naval intimidation and power. Despite the power Calcara holds religiously and militarily, Albicia is a state that politicians, nobles, kings and Emperors across Ehvas have their eyes set upon.

The city of Albicia itself is situated along the end of the river that lengths the Gauntlet. As Albicia is the southern most state, its climate is hotter than most others in the Gauntlet. Although the climate is not quite as sweltering and desert-like as the Eastern Isle Albicia borders between the sun glazed yellow grass of most of the Shattered States to the north and the warm sands of the Eastern Isle in the dunes of the south.

 

[Chad Lynch]

The idea of having a super-volcano repeatedly erupting over the course of history is a good one, unique. A good backdrop.

A thing to keep in mind, for pre-industrial societies, resources mean first and foremost arable land. Not only do you need warm weather and enough water, but woods are really hard to clear. Even if you use fire, it's the devil's own time pulling out the stumps. The Black forest wasn't just creepy and dark, it restricted the amount of farming the Germans could do.

Also, it's much more than the initial profit when it comes to the slave trade. Again, in pre-industrial times absolutely everything is made by hand and thus much more labor intensive, something that is easy for use in the here and now to forget. Under good conditions one person on the farm might be able to support two and a half people. A weaver working a loom might be able to make cloth for two or three. It is because of this low level of output than nearly all ancient civilizations practiced slavery. It wasn't because they were evil, it was because forced labor was the only way to produce enough surplus to enable a standard of living above subsistence. Slavery only becomes economically nonviable when you have a large peasant class you are willing to grind down like slaves - see imperial China - or things like the cotton gin and steam engines come along.